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So I have a bit of a transportation problem and I work at a startup. It was a Saturday night and my dad came to pick me up but I had my phone on silent. So he came in and had some small talk with my boss and another one of his colleagues (They are close friends).

Anyways while my boss, and I were showing my dad a demo unit, the conversation steered its way towards factory managers and their inefficacy. They were talking about how dumb they were and jokingly my dad told my boss that I told him my boss and colleague were dumb (Which I for the record never said anything remotely like that). I was shocked at that moment, and all I could do was repeatedly mutter a feeble "no". My boss asked if this was true and I said "no" but my dad said "yes".

I'm not sure what my dad was thinking, but my boss and his colleague joked it off, yet I cannot help feeling I might have damaged my good terms with my boss/colleague. Also probably sacrificed a good job. How do I fix this?

My plan is to go talk to my boss and his colleague on Monday and tell them there was an apparent misunderstanding. I would tell them I would never say such a thing and that I have the utmost respect for them.

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closed as unclear what you're asking by CMW, jcmeloni, jmac, RWY, ReallyTiredOfThisGame Mar 17 at 14:48

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Sorry to hear this! Although the first thing I'd like to know is, did you actually call your boss dumb, or did your dad fib about this to be funny? –  NotVonKaiser Mar 16 at 19:56
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No I never called my boss dumb. My boss was kind enough to take me under his wings as an entry level developer. It's sad this had to happen. My dad fibbed about this to be funny.. –  user2769651 Mar 16 at 19:58
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have you considered getting your own car? –  Kevin Mar 16 at 21:06
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How about asking your dad to tell boss that he mis-remembered? –  user13107 Mar 17 at 4:00
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@user13107 That's pretty poor advice - the boss isn't going to buy that excuse, and I think the dad has already shown he can't be trusted to speak to these people. –  Dan Mar 17 at 9:57
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3 Answers 3

up vote 12 down vote accepted

It's possible that your boss took this in the joking way that your dad inferred. Nevertheless, if it's bothering you then that's as good a reason to sit down and talk this out at work. Explain to them the truth about the situation as truthfully as you can (my one admonishment would be to avoid throwing your dad under the bus; just maybe say that he has an "off the wall sense of humor" or something along those lines), including that you in fact think they are a very intelligent person and you are grateful for their tutelage.

My experience is that people like to be complimented, and even if there's no lingering bad feelings from that conversation, hashing this out has nothing, I don't think, but good consequences for you.

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"How do I fix this?"

Your boss and his colleague apparently joked it off, you probably should too. You are most likely making too much of this.

But if you feel strongly enough that you must do something now, just tell your side of the story and leave it at that.

How about "Hey, boss. I just wanted to tell you that I would never say such a thing. Apparently, my Dad thought he would be funny at my expense. I didn't know he was going to do that, otherwise I would have prevented it from happening, and I don't think it was very funny. Sorry."

Then, either stop taking rides home from your Dad, or meet him outside.

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+1 nothing beats a face-to-face explanation. I think this is a good chance to show your boss how professionally you handled the situation. –  Songo Mar 17 at 8:32
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I would just add that there may seem to be an uneasy peace at work for the next week or so but it will blow over... there is just no way to speed that up something just need time to settle. –  ReallyTiredOfThisGame Mar 17 at 14:53
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Take your boss aside for a moment.

"This has really been eating away at me the last couple of days. My dad has always thought it was funny to create awkward situations for me and his comments about me thinking you all were "dumb" were just one of those times. I am grateful to everyone here for what they have done for me and I could have no reason to think badly of any of you."

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This answer simply repeats what has been said earlier... –  ReallyTiredOfThisGame Mar 17 at 14:55
    
@Chad, I disagree, the text he suggests using is differnt that some of the others and seems to handle the situation best in my mind. –  HLGEM Mar 17 at 15:25
    
Meh. This includes some of what I was talking about regarding not throwing Dad under the bus. The problem with gossip is that even if you're making objective statements, saying negative things about people makes you sound negative. On top of that, the person, great tutor or no, is your employer, not your friend, and there's a level of unprofessionality that goes into talking about one's family in that relationship. I would leave it as, "Sometimes dad has a, um, esoteric sense of humor". –  NotVonKaiser Mar 18 at 15:42
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