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I am working for a US-based organization. We have a team member, let's say his name Anderson.

  • Anderson is a very responsible, hardworking and talented team member.
  • He is senior-most in the team and knows lots of stuff.
  • He is very honest and flexible.
  • He received multiple appreciations from management and everyone values his opinion.

But the problem with him is, whenever we involve him any meeting or any problem solving discussion, he takes total control and gives less scope for anyone else to participate. Because of this, I'm seeing the following side effects which impact me:

  • His solutions are good. Since it always becomes a one-man show, there is no chance for constructive discussion and constructive debate.
  • Sometimes in front of management it appears that other people are not participating, which is impacting their morale and prevents others from showcasing their ideas.
  • Many times he also personally expressed to me that no-one is participating except for him. This means he feels negatively towards others.

How can I professionally and politely stop him from taking participating opportunities from others, without offending him?

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  • No, We are Peers. I am also senior most in the team. But Anderson is more senior than me
    – Babu
    Jul 26, 2016 at 1:21
  • Joe Strazzere, He is also taking participating opportunities from me. I am suffering with those side effects
    – Babu
    Jul 26, 2016 at 1:44
  • I am not getting the opportunities to talk and express my opinions. Talking with the boss is not the first option. I would not consider that option at this moment
    – Babu
    Jul 26, 2016 at 1:52
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    @Babu It is your only solution. Any other action you try to take except for directly talking to this person is potentially undermining them. It is your manager's responsibility to ensure the cohesion of your team, not yours. If you feel there is no cohesion, then only your manager can resolve that.
    – Jane S
    Jul 26, 2016 at 1:55
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    @JaneS I'm wondering if we need a close reason for questions like this where the only possible answer is "talk to your boss." It's part the answer for many, if not most, questions but for some questions it's the only answer.
    – Lilienthal
    Jul 26, 2016 at 11:16

3 Answers 3

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I see several problems here. First of all, almost your entire post is very subjective. In your view, Anderson is stealing the show, not allowing others to showcase their ideas, and shutting down constructive debates. All this while having good ideas, demonstrating leadership, being honest, and working really hard.

This is what I call cognitive dissonance.

It makes me wonder whether Anderson is truly pushing everyone else out of the spotlight, or whether others are simply failing to perform to his level. If he arrives at a solution quicker than the rest of the team, and can better communicate his idea then it's inevitable that he will take leadership, and gain recognition for doing so.

Then, feeling that the others just don't have a grasp of the matter he falls into the trap of taking on the lion's share of the work because others don't seem to meet his level of understanding.

Now I'm not saying that he's blameless in all this, but perhaps the rest of the team needs to step up a little bit.

If you have an idea, communicate it, and don't allow yourself to be swept aside. Present your alternative. The onus here is not on Anderson, it's on the person who wants to express their idea.

If you want to take on more responsibilities, express that desire:

Hey, Anderson, I can tackle part B of this project in addition to part C!

What I'm hearing when I read this post is that one guy is really stepping up to the plate and demonstrating leadership, while others are simply failing to effectively communicate their ideas, or otherwise make an impression.

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    I agree. Babu states how Anderson is well respected and does an excellent job. However, the only negative is that Babu feels left out. It sounds more like jealousy than anything else.
    – Keltari
    Jul 26, 2016 at 2:00
  • I already have a -1, lol. Off to a good start.
    – AndreiROM
    Jul 26, 2016 at 2:11
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    @AndreiROM - I've often said that the 3% downvote ratio indicates you hit a nerve with someone who needs it. All upvotes means you offered only platitudes. If someone was pained/offended, then it's a good post! Jul 26, 2016 at 2:26
  • @WesleyLong I would not say that is axiomatic, but I will agree that if you say nothing offensive, you say nothing. Jul 26, 2016 at 13:18
  • @WesleyLong - a healthy society encourages diversity of viewpoints, some of which are bound to be "insulting" to someone. People need to realize that simply because an idea makes them uncomfortable, it doesn't make that point less valid. That being said, they don't have to like it either.
    – AndreiROM
    Jul 26, 2016 at 13:25
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Many times he also personally expressed to me that no-one is participating except for him. This means he feels negatively towards others.

He has spotted the problem for himself, that means you don't need to be so tactful about raising it, because he's already raised it. Call a meeting with him and discuss why he thinks other people are not participating and what can be done to improve that.

Perhaps you can engineer a situation where one of the more junior team members is given responsibility for a sub-project with Anderson mentoring him. Make sure Anderson understands that it is the junior's project, and is intended as a way of training that junior.

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I would say that unless you involve management then the situation is not going to change.

Anderson likes what he does, as such he is not going to change his manner to something he likes less unless he is compelled to. And as you are his peers (albeit of less seniority) then you have no way to compel him.

And while Andre does make a good point about the people stepping up, I have personally seen situations where the dominating person doesn't want to share even when peers do try and step up. Not knowing Anderson we can't say how he will react to perceived challenges to his dominance.

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  • I agree that you should discuss the matter with the team's manager. It really is his-or-her responsibility to hand guidance to Anderson (and you) as appropriate. Jul 26, 2016 at 15:11

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