381
votes
18answers
81k views

How should I deal with an employee who has slept with my wife?

I'm the owner of a business with about 30-40 employees. Recently, I found out that one of my employees has been having an affair with my wife. The employee has worked for me for 4 years. I felt like I ...
279
votes
19answers
74k views

Is it rude to leave an interview early if you have already made your decision?

A friend of mine went on an interview recently for a software developer position at a well known company. It was a senior position, and he had very relevant business experience in the industry. I ...
242
votes
19answers
57k views

What is a 'friendly' way to let managers know that having good developers is a privilege?

I work for a small company, where we recently had a change of managers. The new manager has no experience managing developers, and the old manager has moved into a development role to fill in gaps ...
199
votes
19answers
71k views

How can I overcome “years of experience” requirements when applying to positions?

Having just been rejected as a candidate for a job because I do not show the requisite number of years experience, I have some questions about how "years of experience" is interpreted by hiring ...
163
votes
4answers
15k views

What should I do when my dream company is interested in me before my skills are developed?

There is a company I adore and working there would be my dream job. My plan was to continue working on my programming skills (which are currently underdeveloped) and then start contributing to this ...
157
votes
10answers
15k views

How do you decide when to go home for the day?

As a salaried software developer, I've worked in a few environments where I've been told "we don't have 9-5 hours here, we just expect you to get your work done". Which sounds idealistic, except that ...
153
votes
13answers
18k views

How can I prepare for getting hit by a bus?

As a member of small teams, I had significant responsibility. Whether driving progress by organizing meetings or maintaining/creating/understanding a large percentage of specific technical ...
139
votes
5answers
23k views

How can I interact professionally with female colleagues whose appearance I find distracting?

I am a fresh college graduate male and three quarters of my team is female. I come from a traditional and rural background. Their dress and wardrobe appears to be seductive and this makes me feel ...
139
votes
4answers
27k views

How can I determine a reasonable salary to ask for?

I'm looking for a comprehensive answer to this question, not short answers that just tell me one piece of the equation. The ideal answer should include: How can I determine the average salary rate ...
129
votes
11answers
23k views

Team members spending too much time on Stack Overflow

Almost 8 months ago, I encouraged my team members to follow Stack Overflow so that they can read questions, help others, and build their skills. But now this has gotten out of hand. I have a team of 5 ...
126
votes
14answers
9k views

How can I tell people to get to the point?

I've recently come to a work place where people use a lot of useless business lingo and generally inflate communications with long unproductive fluff. I frequently find myself nodding and hoping they ...
126
votes
9answers
16k views

How can I respond to a CEO asking me to terminate an employee for reasons I disagree with?

I am managing a technical team and a woman in QA has gotten engaged to one of my male developers. The CEO phoned to ask me to terminate the woman working in QA (providing two months of salary ...
122
votes
10answers
20k views

Someone I manage keeps cc'ing my boss

I manage a team of about 20 at my company. One the people I manage will occasionally send emails to me to tell me things he thinks I should do differently. If I disagree with him, he'll reply and cc ...
121
votes
10answers
11k views

I worked for a company affiliated with a very publicly failed project. Should I take it off my resume?

I worked briefly for a company that had a recent highly publicized failed government project (I'm sure you can probably guess). While I did not work on that particular project, I think all the bad ...
120
votes
13answers
14k views

What is wrong with sharing knowledge with colleagues at work?

I have a keen interest in learning new things about whatever technology I am using at work and then sharing my knowledge and experiences with colleagues. One of my friends has repeatedly told me NOT ...
118
votes
11answers
11k views

How can I ask a potential employer to show production code?

In my experience, managers and even employees at a potential employer tend to emphasize the commitment to quality in their company or their team during interviews. I am also routinely asked about my ...
115
votes
7answers
11k views

Why is it important to gain “visibility” in the workplace?

My boss has recently been pushing me to take up stuff and try to gain visibility across the organization. I just do not understand the idea behind this. Why is it important to gain visibility? If I ...
112
votes
11answers
28k views

Project Manager asks for complete 100% confidence everytime committing code

I've got an ongoing relationship with a long term business partner as a consultant where his role is project manager (task manager + direction), and my role is a contracted developer. He has a ...
111
votes
9answers
20k views

Is it ethical to read programming books on the clock?

I have an issue that hasn't ever surfaced as a problem, but it's a question that's been bugging me internally a little bit for the last several years. I've worked at a few different places where they ...
110
votes
8answers
17k views

How can a workplace rally after everyone's salary got leaked?

A friend of mine told me an incredible story. 40 people work at his company and, the other day, someone leaked a spreadsheet that listed everyone's salary. A few hours later, the IT department figured ...
108
votes
5answers
14k views

How to respond to manager's demand to remove CV from Job site?

My daughter is desperately unhappy with her employer and is looking for another job. Her CV is posted on several sites (like Monster) and today her line manager has told her that she has until 4pm to ...
107
votes
9answers
10k views

Does the first person to mention a number in a salary negotiation lose?

When talking about salary negotiation (or any negotiation), it's become somewhat conventional wisdom that "the first to give a number loses". Steve Hanov says so. So does Knocks.com. Is this true? ...
107
votes
13answers
13k views

Should I list skills on my résumé if I have no interest in using them again?

I’m a software developer and over the course of my (short) career I’ve gained experience with a whole bunch of programming languages, libraries, frameworks, applications, and concepts. Taken together ...
105
votes
4answers
15k views

Why do companies not want to hire over qualified people?

I've heard stories of how people looking for jobs have been turned down by companies because they are over-qualified, even when they are willing to take a (sometime substantial) pay-cut. Why do ...
101
votes
10answers
8k views

Could asking questions online damage my professional reputation?

I like to post quite a lot of questions online, on Stack Exchange and other locations such as GitHub. Despite my best efforts to research before asking and to ask good questions, sometimes I feel that ...
99
votes
12answers
52k views

How can I respond to “Why shouldn't we hire you?”

Can someone please explain what the employer wants to get from the question, "Why shouldn't we hire you?" What type of answers are generally acceptable responses to this question?
98
votes
13answers
17k views

Sexy desktop wallpapers in the office

A colleague uses a wallpaper manager which cycles through his collection of desktop wallpapers, a seemingly unending collection of tattooed women in lingerie. There is no nudity but the images are ...
97
votes
11answers
11k views

Can HR/Boss Require Your Username and Password?

We recently received this email at our work from the HR Department. We work in the healthcare industry and our username and password is linked to everything that we do. We have to follow strict HIPAA ...
96
votes
16answers
42k views

How can I ask my interviewers for feedback following an interview?

Recently, I had an interview with Amazon. At first, things went smoothly and well. After two interviews, they decided not to move forward with the process. I'm the type of person who wants to ...
96
votes
11answers
9k views

How do I get my family to respect my home office?

I got my current job a few years ago when the company had a second office near my hometown. A few months later they closed that office and offered me the opportunity to work from home instead. I ...
95
votes
17answers
24k views

How can I encourage a culture of punctuality in a software company?

As a new technical lead in a new company, what are some additional strategies to employ to change the culture of the development team so that people show up at the time that I've requested? TLDR: My ...
94
votes
15answers
14k views

How can I stop being badgered for “leaving early” without hurting my co-worker relationships?

I currently work in a corporate environment where the majority of the company works typical hours of 8:30 AM - 5 PM. Many employees vary work hours based on personal obligations, however often ...
94
votes
7answers
17k views

How do you tell a friend they are not qualified when asked to recommend them for a job in your company?

An old colleague asked me to recommend him for a job in my company. I'm hesitant because when we worked at the same company, he didn't have the best reputation. He constantly missed deadlines, never ...
91
votes
16answers
13k views

What career paths are available to a developer who's not interested in management, leadership, or teaching? [duplicate]

I'm a developer who is gainfully employed. However, I've been having many discussions over the past 6 months, initiated by my superiors, about my career path and moving up. I've made it abundantly ...
88
votes
15answers
12k views

What are the possible downsides of answering an “anonymous” employee survey truthfully?

We recently got an invite to do a short (handful questions) anonymous survey on employee satisfaction. My first impulse would be to answer with my honest, negative impression of the employer: 'bad ...
88
votes
11answers
13k views

How do I tell my colleagues that the codebase they've built is a total mess and their practices are ancient?

The situation A few months ago, I've been working with a new team in a new company. The company offers some web services and the team's role is to develop and maintain those services. Problem #1: ...
88
votes
6answers
64k views

Is it considered rude to turn down a job after initially accepting it?

Earlier today, I was offered a position which I accepted. It is supposed to start in about a month. I feel like I've made a huge mistake. Can I do anything about it without coming off as ...
87
votes
7answers
21k views

A coworker beat me to resignation. How can I resign in a professional manner?

I began work at a medium-sized startup that neglected to inform me of their impending acquisition. It is possible that it had to be kept secret due to legal reasons, but the fact of the matter is I ...
86
votes
6answers
12k views

How can I approach my boss after I feel blackmailed with him threatening my wife's employment?

I work for a small (15 person) niche IT consulting company. I have become regularly requested by our clients and I am a top performer at my company, which in turn has brought in healthy profits for ...
85
votes
7answers
30k views

Should I tell my boss I'm leaving because of them?

I'm not sure that any good could come from this. But it seems false to pretend I'm leaving for other reasons. How should I handle this?
85
votes
8answers
14k views

Boss is sending me out of state for an 8-day class. Would it look bad if I asked for an extra day to do something fun?

I'm being sent to California for an 8-day training course (8 consecutive days; I don't get a weekend off). I'd like to spend a day at a nearby Six Flags park for some fun while I'm in the area, but ...
85
votes
11answers
15k views

How can I discourage employees from working voluntary overtime?

I run a small company (5 salaried employees). We have recently expanded from 3 to 5 staff, and while we are comfortable financially, there is not much spare money available. However there is a lot of ...
83
votes
7answers
8k views

How should I respond to an inappropriate question in a job interview?

In the United States, it is considered discriminatory to consider certain things about a candidate when hiring, unless that thing is actually relevant to that job. Specific to this question, a ...
83
votes
10answers
25k views

How soon should you return to work after illness?

At the moment I'm off work sick. I imagine I might be well enough to go into work tomorrow, though not fully recovered. Should you be at work whenever you're physically well enough to do so, or ...
82
votes
10answers
14k views

Is it ethical to write answers to work-relevant Stack Exchange questions on the clock? [closed]

First off, this is intended to be an extension to the question "Is it ethical to read programming books on the clock?". I do realize the irony of asking this on Stack Exchange itself, but hey, I'm not ...
82
votes
11answers
10k views

Why is there a stigma in corporations against revealing hourly rates and salaries? Anyone implement “transparent salaries” policy?

I always wondered about the stigma against revealing hourly rates and salaries to coworkers. I just started a company and we made a "transparent salary" policy where everyone knows exactly how much ...
82
votes
8answers
6k views

How can I respond to an employee who objects to working on certain projects on ethical grounds?

My company does services for various clients. We recently were offered a contract to perform these services for a guy in the city who does predictions, tarot, numerology and the like for people. He ...
80
votes
16answers
18k views

Should I go to an interview I don't intend to accept the job (if offered)?

In a conversation with a friend, he slipped that he intended to go to an interview for a senior position in software development. I was surprised, since I was under the impression he liked his current ...
79
votes
14answers
33k views

Is it naive to tell my current employer that I'll be leaving, months in advance?

I'm relocating to another coast in 3 months. The move isn't job related, i.e. I don't have a job out there yet, but I'm committed, e.g. I have other reasons for going, and I've signed a lease on a ...
78
votes
10answers
26k views

Just got an initial job offer. How do I ask for more without any real justification?

I just got an initial programming job offer for $75k + benefits. It's an initial offer, so I feel like I should give a counter offer ($5k - $10k/year more) to avoid unnecessarily leaving any money on ...

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