394
votes
18answers
85k views

How should I deal with an employee who has slept with my wife?

I'm the owner of a business with about 30-40 employees. Recently, I found out that one of my employees has been having an affair with my wife. The employee has worked for me for 4 years. I felt like I ...
290
votes
19answers
77k views

Is it rude to leave an interview early if you have already made your decision?

A friend of mine went on an interview recently for a software developer position at a well known company. It was a senior position, and he had very relevant business experience in the industry. I ...
247
votes
19answers
59k views

What is a 'friendly' way to let managers know that having good developers is a privilege?

I work for a small company, where we recently had a change of managers. The new manager has no experience managing developers, and the old manager has moved into a development role to fill in gaps ...
209
votes
19answers
77k views

How can I overcome “years of experience” requirements when applying to positions?

Having just been rejected as a candidate for a job because I do not show the requisite number of years experience, I have some questions about how "years of experience" is interpreted by hiring ...
163
votes
4answers
16k views

What should I do when my dream company is interested in me before my skills are developed?

There is a company I adore and working there would be my dream job. My plan was to continue working on my programming skills (which are currently underdeveloped) and then start contributing to this ...
161
votes
13answers
20k views

How can I prepare for getting hit by a bus?

As a member of small teams, I had significant responsibility. Whether driving progress by organizing meetings or maintaining/creating/understanding a large percentage of specific technical ...
161
votes
10answers
17k views

How do you decide when to go home for the day?

As a salaried software developer, I've worked in a few environments where I've been told "we don't have 9-5 hours here, we just expect you to get your work done". Which sounds idealistic, except that ...
144
votes
4answers
31k views

How can I determine a reasonable salary to ask for?

I'm looking for a comprehensive answer to this question, not short answers that just tell me one piece of the equation. The ideal answer should include: How can I determine the average salary rate ...
141
votes
11answers
25k views

Team members spending too much time on Stack Overflow

Almost 8 months ago, I encouraged my team members to follow Stack Overflow so that they can read questions, help others, and build their skills. But now this has gotten out of hand. I have a team of 5 ...
140
votes
5answers
25k views

How can I interact professionally with female colleagues whose appearance I find distracting?

I am a fresh college graduate male and three quarters of my team is female. I come from a traditional and rural background. Their dress and wardrobe appears to be seductive and this makes me feel ...
137
votes
19answers
22k views

How to explain business priorities to a programmer?

I have a recurring disagreement with a programmer about code quality. He insists that all of his code is written to the highest standard (i.e. that it looks just like the examples in the coding styles ...
135
votes
14answers
11k views

How can I tell people to get to the point?

I've recently come to a work place where people use a lot of useless business lingo and generally inflate communications with long unproductive fluff. I frequently find myself nodding and hoping they ...
132
votes
7answers
14k views

Why is it important to gain “visibility” in the workplace?

My boss has recently been pushing me to take up stuff and try to gain visibility across the organization. I just do not understand the idea behind this. Why is it important to gain visibility? If I ...
132
votes
9answers
17k views

How can I respond to a CEO asking me to terminate an employee for reasons I disagree with?

I am managing a technical team and a woman in QA has gotten engaged to one of my male developers. The CEO phoned to ask me to terminate the woman working in QA (providing two months of salary ...
124
votes
13answers
16k views

What is wrong with sharing knowledge with colleagues at work?

I have a keen interest in learning new things about whatever technology I am using at work and then sharing my knowledge and experiences with colleagues. One of my friends has repeatedly told me NOT ...
124
votes
10answers
22k views

Someone I manage keeps cc'ing my boss

I manage a team of about 20 at my company. One the people I manage will occasionally send emails to me to tell me things he thinks I should do differently. If I disagree with him, he'll reply and cc ...
122
votes
13answers
31k views

Project Manager asks for complete 100% confidence everytime committing code

I've got an ongoing relationship with a long term business partner as a consultant where his role is project manager (task manager + direction), and my role is a contracted developer. He has a ...
122
votes
11answers
12k views

How can I ask a potential employer to show production code?

In my experience, managers and even employees at a potential employer tend to emphasize the commitment to quality in their company or their team during interviews. I am also routinely asked about my ...
121
votes
10answers
12k views

I worked for a company affiliated with a very publicly failed project. Should I take it off my resume?

I worked briefly for a company that had a recent highly publicized failed government project (I'm sure you can probably guess). While I did not work on that particular project, I think all the bad ...
117
votes
9answers
21k views

Is it ethical to read programming books on the clock?

I have an issue that hasn't ever surfaced as a problem, but it's a question that's been bugging me internally a little bit for the last several years. I've worked at a few different places where they ...
115
votes
13answers
15k views

Is it common practice for the programmer with fixed salary to compensate all losses in case of bug in his/her code that caused these losses? [closed]

I was looking for remote job on Linux kernel hacking, which is a kind of dream job. Eventually I found one, sent a resume, passed an interview and even got an offer, and salary was good enough. So ...
114
votes
8answers
19k views

How can a workplace rally after everyone's salary got leaked?

A friend of mine told me an incredible story. 40 people work at his company and, the other day, someone leaked a spreadsheet that listed everyone's salary. A few hours later, the IT department figured ...
112
votes
10answers
12k views

Does the first person to mention a number in a salary negotiation lose?

When talking about salary negotiation (or any negotiation), it's become somewhat conventional wisdom that "the first to give a number loses". Steve Hanov says so. So does Knocks.com. Is this true? ...
110
votes
13answers
14k views

Should I list skills on my résumé if I have no interest in using them again?

I’m a software developer and over the course of my (short) career I’ve gained experience with a whole bunch of programming languages, libraries, frameworks, applications, and concepts. Taken together ...
109
votes
5answers
15k views

How to respond to manager's demand to remove CV from Job site?

My daughter is desperately unhappy with her employer and is looking for another job. Her CV is posted on several sites (like Monster) and today her line manager has told her that she has until 4pm to ...
107
votes
4answers
17k views

Why do companies not want to hire over qualified people?

I've heard stories of how people looking for jobs have been turned down by companies because they are over-qualified, even when they are willing to take a (sometime substantial) pay-cut. Why do ...
104
votes
10answers
9k views

Could asking questions online damage my professional reputation?

I like to post quite a lot of questions online, on Stack Exchange and other locations such as GitHub. Despite my best efforts to research before asking and to ask good questions, sometimes I feel that ...
102
votes
15answers
15k views

How can I stop being badgered for “leaving early” without hurting my co-worker relationships?

I currently work in a corporate environment where the majority of the company works typical hours of 8:30 AM - 5 PM. Many employees vary work hours based on personal obligations, however often ...
101
votes
13answers
18k views

Sexy desktop wallpapers in the office

A colleague uses a wallpaper manager which cycles through his collection of desktop wallpapers, a seemingly unending collection of tattooed women in lingerie. There is no nudity but the images are ...
100
votes
11answers
12k views

Can HR/Boss Require Your Username and Password?

We recently received this email at our work from the HR Department. We work in the healthcare industry and our username and password is linked to everything that we do. We have to follow strict HIPAA ...
100
votes
12answers
62k views

How can I respond to “Why shouldn't we hire you?”

Can someone please explain what the employer wants to get from the question, "Why shouldn't we hire you?" What type of answers are generally acceptable responses to this question?
99
votes
16answers
47k views

How can I ask my interviewers for feedback following an interview?

Recently, I had an interview with Amazon. At first, things went smoothly and well. After two interviews, they decided not to move forward with the process. I'm the type of person who wants to ...
98
votes
4answers
11k views

Should I feel obligated to work extra hours because of project mismanagement?

What's been happening is that my mobile team is kind of short-handed and we have lots of projects to deliver that our manager committed to, knowing we were short-handed. Even though we all stated to ...
97
votes
17answers
26k views

How can I encourage a culture of punctuality in a software company?

As a new technical lead in a new company, what are some additional strategies to employ to change the culture of the development team so that people show up at the time that I've requested? TLDR: My ...
97
votes
5answers
15k views

Is it rude to eat/drink in front of a colleague who is fasting during Ramadan? [closed]

I often feel hungry and have snacks at my desk. Today, I realized that Ramadan has begun and my colleague who sits beside me is fasting. So I quietly kept my snacks back. I felt it might seem rude and ...
97
votes
11answers
10k views

How do I get my family to respect my home office?

I got my current job a few years ago when the company had a second office near my hometown. A few months later they closed that office and offered me the opportunity to work from home instead. I ...
96
votes
14answers
18k views

Staying late for appearance?

I have a senior management-technical position with equity and a decent salary in a pre-launch startup with 6 people. I am newly-married and I work about 11 hours a day, 6 days a week, give or take one ...
95
votes
16answers
15k views

What career paths are available to a developer who's not interested in management, leadership, or teaching? [duplicate]

I'm a developer who is gainfully employed. However, I've been having many discussions over the past 6 months, initiated by my superiors, about my career path and moving up. I've made it abundantly ...
95
votes
11answers
14k views

How do I tell my colleagues that the codebase they've built is a total mess and their practices are ancient?

The situation For a few months, I've been working with a new team in a new company. The company offers some web services and the team's role is to develop and maintain those services. Problem #1: ...
95
votes
7answers
18k views

How do you tell a friend they are not qualified when asked to recommend them for a job in your company?

An old colleague asked me to recommend him for a job in my company. I'm hesitant because when we worked at the same company, he didn't have the best reputation. He constantly missed deadlines, never ...
94
votes
9answers
8k views

How can I respond to an employee who objects to working on certain projects on ethical grounds?

My company does services for various clients. We recently were offered a contract to perform these services for a guy in the city who does predictions, tarot, numerology and the like for people. He ...
92
votes
10answers
16k views

How can I discourage employees from working voluntary overtime?

I run a small company (5 salaried employees). We have recently expanded from 3 to 5 staff, and while we are comfortable financially, there is not much spare money available. However there is a lot of ...
92
votes
8answers
13k views

Lunch with the CEO

I'm having lunch with my CEO in couple of days. I'm an Engineer who's pretty involved in a product that the company sells, but I don't know too much about the business side of things. My company is ...
91
votes
8answers
10k views

How can I effectively and appropriately communicate to management that I have a skill set needed for an upcoming project?

Several times in my career, I've encountered situations where the business has a technical problem, and I have the previous experience and skills necessary to resolve the issue. Instead of being ...
90
votes
15answers
14k views

What are the possible downsides of answering an “anonymous” employee survey truthfully?

We recently got an invite to do a short (handful questions) anonymous survey on employee satisfaction. My first impulse would be to answer with my honest, negative impression of the employer: 'bad ...
90
votes
7answers
22k views

A coworker beat me to resignation. How can I resign in a professional manner?

I began work at a medium-sized startup that neglected to inform me of their impending acquisition. It is possible that it had to be kept secret due to legal reasons, but the fact of the matter is I ...
89
votes
6answers
14k views

How can I approach my boss after I feel blackmailed with him threatening my wife's employment?

I work for a small (15 person) niche IT consulting company. I have become regularly requested by our clients and I am a top performer at my company, which in turn has brought in healthy profits for ...
89
votes
6answers
70k views

Is it considered rude to turn down a job after initially accepting it?

Earlier today, I was offered a position which I accepted. It is supposed to start in about a month. I feel like I've made a huge mistake. Can I do anything about it without coming off as ...
88
votes
7answers
33k views

Should I tell my boss I'm leaving because of them?

I'm not sure that any good could come from this. But it seems false to pretend I'm leaving for other reasons. How should I handle this?
88
votes
10answers
12k views

Employer wants work-loving employees, and not paycheck-loving employees [closed]

During previous salary negotiations, I've heard that my employers will often use the following argument: We want our employees to work here because they love the work, and not because they love ...

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