Clashed with management, How to deal with fallout?

Question

I am currently an apprentice as a developer in a German company (25 employees). The job started well, but in the last two months things soured.

Background:

My contract states, that I have to bring a doctors notice to work if I'm sick even a single day, and a Dr's note is required on the first day back.

I have some health problems which frequently cause me to miss a day of work. In the beginning I always brought a Dr's note, but one day I forgot to bring one and no one said anything about it, so I assumed it was not an issue.

This happened a few times so I assumed I don't need to bring one for single days. I always got one for 1+ days!

Company Structure:

I'm a developer. My logical should be the manager of the devs, Which will be the case once I finish the apprenticeship. However, for now the secretary is my manager as she manages all interns.

She is demanding, non-technical, and insists on controlling things she has no idea about. She assigns tasks the devs, not knowing who they are or what they do. The result was a mass exodus, her demotion, and her being reassigned.

Recently, I had to do a few things for her since she was in home office such as the post, dishes, and writing a motivation sentence on a board in the entrance to the office. I did everything except for that sentence and I got yelled at, called stupid and incompetent for that.

A few weeks later on the first day after the Christmas holidays I meant write her in the morning asking for a extra vacation day since we had visitors. Usually it's ok to ask for a day off in the morning of that day. I messed up and didn't send a mail but I didn't think much of it since I knew that her and the devs manager (who I could have told I'm not coming) were still on vacation.

I came to work the next day to find a email from her saying that I'll get an unexcused sick day for that day. I realise that I messed up here and I think that this is deserved, it's just for more context since it's kinda dumb since I ould have been alone anyway.

Prior to these incidents, the rules weren't strictly enforced, but now she takes every opportunity to insult me, and to demonstrate who is in charge. She also demanded a doctors note for all sick days I had the prior month. I don't have those so she marked them as unexcused, and warned me that the next time I do not bring in a Dr's note the first day back to work.

Since I'm near the end of my apprenticeship I have to do a project on my one from start to finish.

So far,She rejected my plan for the project 3 times for:

1. estamating too much time (not the case)
2. having someone's name in the plan (the person knew about that)
3. Saying "code review with trainer,I meant the "dev manager".

Every time she rejected it I corrected it asap, but was determined to find new mistakes. In the end I nearly missed my deadline to hand in my plan for the project which would have made me fail my apprenticeship.

tldr

Rules weren't enforced in the beginning but later when management soured towards me they were, and even enforced retroactively.

Management is rude to me and frequently insults me, and engages in petty demonstrations of power.. I feel like I am being set up to fail my apprenticeship.

Is this common? Unfair?

While I know that I'll have to strictly follow the rules from this point forward, I feel like running over a minefield at work. Everything I do might be twisted and used against me. Which is insanely stressful for me. I tried to contact the officials, but they didn't respond yet (2 weeks).

Edit: The Dev team is really happy with me, it's just the secretary.

Edit2: I didn't expect rules to be important if they are not enforced. I wasn't aware that you can choose when to enforce them and when not. Sounds unfair to me.

Answer 1

In all fairness, you made several mistakes:

1. You assumed that the rules don't apply to you
2. You mistook a lack of enforcement as a lack of importance
3. You took advantage of a lack of enforcement, and it bit you.

As you wrote, you do understand that going forward, you need to pay closer attention to the rules. This should ALWAYS have been the case, as you are an apprentice, but it's a good thing to do regardless.

Selective enforcement is a thing, and as you've learned, if you annoy the wrong person, the rules will suddenly be enforced to the letter.

Also, while this person has no right to insult you, it is pretty clear from the tone that you are showing her no respect either, as she is "just the secretary". No, right now she is your boss, and she is demonstrating that fact.

You are not an innocent victim here. You admittedly were violating company policy, and doing so as an intern, which is two strikes against you right there.

Now, to get yourself out of this mess:

1. Apologize to your boss, and stop referring to her as "the secretary", and say you will do better
2. DO BETTER
3. Follow the rules to the letter.
4. Never be dismissive of a fellow employee.

---

Voice of experience here:

It sounds like your boss is feeling disrespected, and is engaging in some payback. Given how you posted about her, it doesn't seem to be without cause. You blatantly ignored her instructions to write the motivational sentence, for example. While that does seem like a small injury, it was telling her that she could be disregarded by you. That is very disrespectful, and now she is taking advantage of the tools available to her to make you suffer.

LEARN THIS LESSON NOW:

Show respect to all your coworkers above, below, or lateral to your rank, as any disrespect you show will come back to bite you

Answer 2

As you did not actually ask a question, it's a little hard to find a definitive answer. Regardless, some general advice for your situation:

The Dev team is really happy with me, it's just the secretary hating me.

Then get their support. Next time you have to give an estimate, estimate with one of the dev guys. If your estimation is backed up by the devs, the secretary should have a hard time criticizing you for it. "The seniors think they would be able to do it in 5 days, but since I'm an apprentice and not as experienced, I think it would take me 7 to 10". There is little room for criticism now. If she says you need to get it done in 4, ask the seniors to intervene on your behalf. They should be your trainers in the first place.

I didn't expect rules to be important if they are not enforced. I wasn't aware that you can choose when to enforce them and when not. Sounds unfair to me.

It's not. The rules are the rules and you knew them. It would be unfair if you would be held to different rules than the others. If all are held accountable for their sick days, then it's fair. It is pretty common to have rules and very relaxed checks where the company basically trusts you and only have the company crack down on people if those relaxed checks and trust are abused. And yes, you did abuse their trust. You are required to have a sick note. No ambiguity here. You abused your privilege, now you are under the microscope.

Recently, I had to do a few things for her since she was in home office such as the post, dishes, and writing a motivation sentence on a board in the entrance to the office. I did everything except for that sentence and I got yelled at, called stupid and incompetent for that.

Well, now you know why she got demoted. None of the above is a developers job and giving you a task that is not a task normally done by developers is a clear breach of your Ausbildungsvertrag. As an example: if every developer has kitchen duty once a month, then you can have kitchen duty once a month. If someone specific has kitchen duty and it's not a developer, you cannot be required to be their stand-in. Period. Also, you don't call people stupid or incompetent. Especially not when you are their teacher, because guess whose fault it is if the person supposedly taught has not enough competence?

So yeah, she is not good at her job. I don't mean to demotivate you, but you will meet a few of those people in your life. Sometimes you can dodge them, sometimes you are stuck with them.

Play it by the book. Cross your ts, dot your is (meaning do everything right in detail). Don't stick your head out. Duck and cover. Contact your local IHK and ask for help. If you can find another job, try that. Maybe ask the Azubis that left how they did it and if it was a good thing to do.

Be extra careful with your sick days. There is a lot of stuff you cannot be fired for, since you are an apprentice and they have special protections. Not turning up for work without a sick note is one of the things that you can get fired for. Make 120% sure you get that right.

Answer 3

I'm a developer. My logical should be the manager of the devs, Which will be the case once I finish the apprenticeship. However, for now the secretary is my manager as she manages all interns.

She is demanding, non-technical, and insists on controlling things she has no idea about. She assigns tasks the devs, not knowing who they are or what they do. The result was a mass exodus, her demotion, and her being reassigned.

The problem is there's not much in your description to justify your negative picture of her.

She was given the task of controlling the interns and she seems to be doing just that. It's not an easy task given she probably doesn't attend your team meetings and has a worse access to information than dev team members. In your comments you also mention she has the CEO's back. You put her responsibility in question by criticizing her skills.

Also, your description is unclear (she was demoted from what position? She was demoted, yet she, as a secretary, still controls interns and apprentices?).

Nothing justifies her being offensive of course. You can criticize her for that, you are right here. The problem is your criticism of hers focuses on something different. You seem to have very little respect for this person. And you seem not to take your responsibilities as an employee seriously.

I had a job interview at a quite prestigious company some time ago. During the questions I asked them what according to them distinguished a good [name of a quite technical profession] from a bad [name of the same quite technical profession] working for them.

The answer was: the good ones have a lot of respect even for the secretarial/ support staff, cause they are one team and there's no place for huge egos there.

You are an apprentice. You aren't great. You need to learn a lot and even if you ever turn great the odds are you will still be expected to work with people, which means respecting them and being reliable.

Answer 4

First of: calling someone dumb is never acceptable. So there you have a point. You can/should discuss this with HR or some councelor within the company.

for the rest: It seems like you made quite some mistakes. You stopped bringing in sick notes from the doctors, you did not do what you promised to (the quote, even though it seems trivial) and you did not come in when you had to. These are all on you.

I'll agree that what you write down does not sound like the most relaxing apprenticeship, and your trainer also does not sound like the most relaxing person, but I am sorry to say that atleast part of your broken relationship with her seems to be on you. So adhere to the rules (vigorously), finish and find a job in a better company.