I am currently working in consulting and I am the most technical in the whole team, although I graduated in business administration/ management and now I have the role of a devs all-rounder (especially for frontend problems and APIs). Often I design the architecture (e.g. connecting some microservices to the big systems like shop, SAP or CRM) and write the code to make the architecture work in the end (e.g. Salesfore to Message Broker to Service) I have only been with the company for one year and am part of the core team around which more and more people are hired. Now it's all about new hires coming into teams and, at best, we should be leading them.
My problem is that I am not a social person and see myself as kinda cliche nerd/geek:
- I prefer to work alone or with colleagues I know.
- I like sprints because I know what there is to do and I can rock it.
- I prefer to work remotely rather than in an office.
- I have customer contact, but I don't like it, even if the customers like me, as some colleagues say.
I don't feel able to lead other people, especially because I feel insecure and generally get annoyed and exhausted quickly when I am around people. I prefer to have my peace and quiet and do my work. For example, we got a new working student and I knew that I should take care of him, but just couldn't manage it, so a colleague took over. I didn't have any tasks to hand over to him and I didn't have the time to explain to him how to do something, because I have too much workload myself (he only knows machine language and is supposed to develop HTML and JS in our company). And the tasks I could have handed in were just the ones I enjoy.
On the other hand, I also feel threatened by new technical staff, as I was the only coder in the team for a long time and am a career changer. So I always have the feeling that others write better and cleaner code than I do. It is also a good chance to get responsibility early in my career and would probably promote me to the top for future jobs
- How should I deal with this situation. Also in view of the fact that I still have 40 years of working life ahead of me? Should I just accept that I can't lead and communicate it in a way that I don't want to lead or how should I work on it?