Timeline for Is it inappropriate to help an employee outside of work?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
11 events
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| Aug 9, 2018 at 18:11 | comment | added | G. Ann - SonarSource Team | To add to this excellent answer, you should be prepared to write off the mattress. Loaning it out to an employee could/should only become an issue if you want it back and she can't/won't return it. Then you have a personal issue which may intrude on work. So just don't expect the return of the mattress and be pleasantly surprised when (if) it comes back to you. | |
| Aug 9, 2018 at 17:30 | comment | added | ColleenV | Just to clarify my earlier comment. I don’t think helping someone in need is ever inappropriate. I just wonder if the boss’s motivation here was to protect their direct report from their generosity toward someone they have power over being misconstrued as opposed to the boss just being an “idiot”. As an aside, I don’t like name calling. It’s not constructive and makes it hard to see someone who said something dumb as someone who could be persuaded to change their point of view. | |
| Aug 9, 2018 at 14:47 | comment | added | kukis | I would suggest to not assume that her boss is male. It is perfectly fine to use singular they instead of 'his'. | |
| Aug 9, 2018 at 11:39 | comment | added | r41n | Rarely there's been so much win in the first line of an answer. When it becomes inappropriate to help a fellow human being you know it's time to do a reality check. | |
| Aug 9, 2018 at 9:44 | comment | added | Benubird | I agree with you, this was most likely appropriate, and OP is to be commended. But, I think it's worth highlighting that although helping someone out like this is a wonderful thing to do, it is also not without risks. With the modern lawsuit-obsessed culture, helping people is increasingly dangerous. I can just picture if OP was a man... "I said I needed a bed, and he told me I could use his. Harassment!" My point is, BOSS might very well have been trying to protect her. If he's been burned from trying to help someone in the past, he could honestly mean well. | |
| Aug 9, 2018 at 8:53 | comment | added | Michael | @ColleenV The key word there is 'misconstrued'. As in, it's not correct to construe it as inappropriate. As in, it's not inappropriate. And it's not. | |
| S Aug 9, 2018 at 3:33 | history | mod moved comments to chat | |||
| S Aug 9, 2018 at 3:33 | comment | added | Masked Man | Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been moved to chat. | |
| Aug 7, 2018 at 19:52 | history | edited | Joe Strazzere | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
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| Aug 6, 2018 at 13:47 | comment | added | ColleenV | I think your answer is spot on, but you may be being a little hard on the boss. In some areas of the US, common kindness can be misconstrued as inappropriate. It may be that the boss was trying to protect his team member, even though in this case it was overboard. Some managers feel more comfortable with black and white rules, and it may be appropriate in an industry where there are a lot of managers and employees that are relatively new to the workforce. I agree the boss should have handled this differently, but they may be trying to help FlashMom avoid future problems. | |
| Aug 6, 2018 at 13:03 | history | answered | Joe Strazzere | CC BY-SA 4.0 |