Timeline for How to deal with a colleague who makes personal jokes about my appearance?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
30 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sep 23, 2019 at 16:15 | answer | added | Vwhuff | timeline score: 2 | |
| Feb 16, 2019 at 3:01 | history | tweeted | twitter.com/StackWorkplace/status/1096605451251269633 | ||
| Feb 13, 2019 at 13:21 | comment | added | Zaibis | @Fattie: True point, but OP seems to not want to take any workplace related escalation options. So while you are totally right with your comment, IPS might still be a better fit for the kind of solution he seems to be looking for. | |
| Feb 13, 2019 at 11:05 | answer | added | John Wu | timeline score: 0 | |
| Feb 12, 2019 at 23:07 | comment | added | Mike | I'd strongly consider nipping it in the bud as soon as the joke is made, addressing it, and explain that you don't think it's a funny joke, its a personal matter, and that this condition is a medically diagnosed condition, and you would appreciate it if all jokes targetting him would stop, then ask to continue to the business at hand. If you let it slide, I think he gets the notion that you are letting the joke slide too. You need to make it awkward for him to tell the joke, and it won't be fun anymore. | |
| Feb 12, 2019 at 22:52 | answer | added | saswanb | timeline score: 2 | |
| Feb 12, 2019 at 17:35 | comment | added | JVC | I have dietary preferences that have bothered everyone except me for my entire life (I'm 45). Family, friends, co-workers, teachers (though oddly, not any of my longtime romantic partners, maybe that's why they were longtime! LOL). I have tried every tact in the book and then some, and never, ever has it helped. AT ALL. No matter how many times I explain to someone that teasing me about what I choose not to consume isn't funny... they will do it anyway. I don't know if the comments are quite as pervasive for you, but from my experience there is really no way to get people to stop. =( | |
| Feb 12, 2019 at 12:21 | answer | added | Dorothy Bealm | timeline score: 1 | |
| Feb 12, 2019 at 9:27 | comment | added | allo | I second, that you may want to ask at IPS. Of course this can be treated as a workplace issue (how do I maintain professional distance), but I think this is a problem which could be solved on a personal level, just like when there were no workplace involved. Personally in my experience it helps to get one time quite angry. If you get a bit louder and impolite (against the offense and nothing else!), people will remember and treat you with more care. But this could be discussed better at IPS. | |
| Feb 12, 2019 at 9:15 | comment | added | Paul D. Waite | “he just “couldn’t help it” and that “it’s just the way he is”” — ironically, his description is more accurate for psoriasis than it is for his behaviour, assuming he doesn't have some unusual condition that literally compels him to make hurtful jokes. | |
| Feb 12, 2019 at 5:32 | answer | added | Tom | timeline score: 8 | |
| Feb 12, 2019 at 1:40 | answer | added | nasch | timeline score: 2 | |
| Feb 12, 2019 at 0:54 | comment | added | V2Blast | @Qwerky: Answer in answers, not in comments. | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 17:20 | comment | added | eckes | Did you tell him to stop and how did he react? If there is. I improvement insight, go to his manager (assuming he is yours) | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 14:39 | answer | added | Old_Lamplighter | timeline score: 62 | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 14:12 | answer | added | thgirwycats | timeline score: 1 | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 13:42 | comment | added | user97144 | Is there a possibility that John is awkward, and doesn't know how to interact? From the sound of it he might be in a position where he wants to interact, but doesn't know how to, causing him to force "jokes". | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 12:55 | answer | added | the_piper | timeline score: -2 | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 12:50 | answer | added | Elmy | timeline score: 10 | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 12:22 | answer | added | Fattie | timeline score: 3 | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 12:14 | comment | added | Fattie | @Snow , hmm, I don't see that in the slightest. If "you tease me" about a medical condition, that's just a personal hassle. in the workplace, it has dramatic, indeed drastic, legal consequences. | |
| S Feb 11, 2019 at 12:09 | history | suggested | Uciebila | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
Corrected Spelling in the question
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| Feb 11, 2019 at 11:50 | comment | added | user44108 | This might gain more appropriate answers on the Interpersonal Skills site since this seems to be more of an interpersonal issue than a Workplace specific issue. | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 11:41 | answer | added | Twyxz | timeline score: 120 | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 11:21 | comment | added | MlleMei | Just to make sure, you'd like him to stop the jokes on your appearance due to the psoriasis, but you would still be ok with him joking about your clothes or hair ? | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 11:05 | review | Close votes | |||
| Feb 11, 2019 at 17:05 | |||||
| Feb 11, 2019 at 10:55 | review | Suggested edits | |||
| S Feb 11, 2019 at 12:09 | |||||
| Feb 11, 2019 at 10:55 | comment | added | Uciebila | Does John know this is a medical condition as opposed to you just having 'dry skin'? It is possible that he would behave differently if he realised it was more serious. I would compare it to making fun of someone having burn scars etc. Might get through to him a little more. | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 10:50 | review | First posts | |||
| Feb 11, 2019 at 11:28 | |||||
| Feb 11, 2019 at 10:45 | history | asked | Throwaway2019 | CC BY-SA 4.0 |