Timeline for How to deal with a colleague who makes personal jokes about my appearance?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
9 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Feb 13, 2019 at 16:01 | comment | added | Daevin |
I would suggest also indicating reciprocation, so that John can't take the side of "well you joked about ___ that I don't like" which can happen. Maybe adding something along the lines of "If there is anything I have joked about that bothers you, I am sorry and please let me know so I can avoid that in the future as well". A little reciprocity goes a long way in conflict.
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| Feb 13, 2019 at 15:34 | comment | added | zr00 | I believe this is a great answer for the short-term. It seems OP doesn't want to disrupt things and John doesn't understand the hurt he is causing. Escalating to manager may not work if they and the rest of the company are dysfunctional though... in that case, HR would be the answer, and then leaving. If the manager is reasonable, they'll appreciate hearing about it and will handle it in a way that doesn't destroy the team. | |
| Feb 12, 2019 at 15:14 | comment | added | JeffC | While educating him on his condition might help... it really has nothing to do with the situation. He's not just trying to joke with him. OP has already confronted him, his friend has acknowledged that he is making him uncomfortable, and yet he continues to do it. | |
| Feb 12, 2019 at 11:25 | comment | added | T.J. Crowder | Having pointed out that it's a medical condition, it may be effective to joke with him that he's literally "mocking the afflicted." It has to be a joke, though. | |
| Feb 12, 2019 at 11:10 | comment | added | talex | Yes. Persistence is a key here. If John will constantly get explanation that his jokes on this subject is not funny he will gradually learn not to joke about this topic. | |
| S Feb 12, 2019 at 5:16 | history | mod moved comments to chat | |||
| S Feb 12, 2019 at 5:16 | comment | added | Jane S | Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been moved to chat. | |
| Feb 11, 2019 at 12:04 | history | edited | Twyxz | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
added 95 characters in body
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| Feb 11, 2019 at 11:41 | history | answered | Twyxz | CC BY-SA 4.0 |