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I'm a 3+ years experienced Software Engineer in India. I have a job offer from an org, which has recently launched it's development center in India. It belongs to my manager in prev org. I am freelancing for this org from last 6 months. I don't want to join it because:

  • It's a small org having only 10 employees in India
  • I want to join a big product-based company similar to FAANG.
  • My role will involve no coding and just mentor juniors
  • He didn't match my expected payment during freelancing.

I sent him this message today regarding his job offer:

I carefully analyzed and discussed with my closed ones regarding this full-time opportunity. While this position seems like a good opportunity, but I reached out to the conclusion that this is not the right fit for my career goals at this time. I appreciate you taking the time to consider me and for answering so many of my questions about the company and role.

But he is still desperate and asked me for expected CTC. I told him the CTC out of his range and he is still asking me vague questions. I think it's absolutely clear from my message that I'm not interested but he is pleading, begging and creating emotional stuff to me by saying - please join my org, I've lot of opportunities for you. Trust me, you will learn a lot. I'm having problems while hiring the resources. Can anyone please tell me how do I reject the offer of this desperate guy in a diplomatic way which won't break our professional relations?

UPDATE:

PROBLEM SOLVED !!

My current CTC is 9 LPA and I told the expected CTC as 20 LPA and he gave up on me after hearing the expected CTC.

He replied: I respect your decision. But I want to tell you that if it's your personal desire to work at FAANG or similar, then go and try it. But make a new desire to create something bigger than what these companies has developed. Look at their history; they all started with a small group and then their products became popular.

I replied - Ok, thanks for your suggestion... and thus, ended the conversation.

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    You already rejected this guy in a diplomatic way, there is nothing more for you to do.
    – Helena
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 12:05
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    “No” is a complete sentence, why do you feel like you have to justify it to anyone?
    – mxyzplk
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 14:09
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    @WarWithSelf, an issue comes up a lot on this list: if you feel or even notice "emotional" content coming from the other party, that is really on you. One must not be "an enabler," as they say. You really must "as a person" so to speak, learn to just ignore emotional crap from others. If a client or supplier sends me some "emotions", the chance of me even noticing such idiocy is equal to the chance that the Sun will suddenly turn in to an enormous pink flamingo via quantum probability. You really have to toughen up - be like Fattie :)
    – Fattie
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 14:54
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    @Fattie yes, you are right. I really need to stop falling for this emotional drama, especially in a corporate world. I am slowly learning this skill from experiences. A lot of people has told me in the past not to give this much importance to emotional drama which people create in professional environment.
    – SherlockHolmesKePapa
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 14:57
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    What does CTC and LPA mean ?
    – Itération 122442
    Commented Jun 8, 2021 at 14:12

5 Answers 5

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Very simple, mention money.

All you do is say

  1. "as much as you TRULY LOVE working with Steve",
  2. "unfortunately" you're not now able to work for that much

As an example, say you are currently making 333.

Simply reply

Dear Steve, very unfortunately I'm already making 444. You know, with the demand currently I am getting a number of offers at 555. Very unfortunately now that I'm making 444 it really wouldn't be possible for the family to get buy on less than that. As much as I TRULY LOVE working with you Steve as you can see unfortunately it's not possible for me at this time.

You will be amazed how quickly he will leave you alone and stop being your 'best friend'. Like, it will make your head spin :)

It's really that simple.

NOTE - state an amount that you would actually work for him.

Everyone has a price.

Put in four times your current salary if it takes that.

And if (incredibly) they offer you that much, don't forget to then assert that with startups you can only work being paid one month in advance at a time.

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    Well, I gave him the expected CTC which is 120% more than my current CTC. Then, he asked for my experience in number of years. After telling him about that, I didn't get any reply from him. But AFAIK, chances are that he will still call me and will start the emotional stuff again to reconsider.
    – SherlockHolmesKePapa
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 12:55
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    Be aware that, if you go down this route, to mention an amount at which you would actually work for him. Nothing is worse than if he actually finds the money (or claims to have found it) to pay you as much and then you still scramble for words to say "no". Not a good situation to be in.
    – Captain Emacs
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 14:06
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    +100000 exactly as @CaptainEmacs says, mention an amount at which you would actually work for him
    – Fattie
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 14:42
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    also, if it comes to an actual offer, assert that with startups you can only work being paid one month in advance at a time.
    – Fattie
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 14:42
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    It doesn't look like money is the only problem OP has with this offer, so imagine there isn't a realistic amount that will make OP reconsider, therefore I wouldn't recommend this approach as unnecessary and misleading. If OP just wants to reject the offer they should just say "no, thanks", period.
    – Egor
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 15:37
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You've already rejected the offer in a respectful manner. If that person insists, respond with a short and firm statement:

Thank you again for the opportunity, but I'm not interested, and my decision is final.

And stop responding to their emails after that - any further engagement from your side would just invite more negotiation from their side, which you're not interested in.

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This job doesn't correspond to the direction you want to go in for the future, therefore you cannot take it. Since you already aren't interested in working for the person, there is little point in trying to keep your professional relations.

Business is business, it should not affect your manager's emotions. This is why many companies have a human resources layer. Also, the manager may be employing emotions because he is unwilling or unable to provide your payment -- you would not want to perpetuate such an attitude.

As a side note, if the person hasn't paid you, he has already acted extremely unprofessionally, and by acting like a cry-baby he is continuing this trend. He doesn't inherently deserve an answer better than "no".

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  • Thanks for your suggestion. Problem solved now.. read updated post !!
    – SherlockHolmesKePapa
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 17:41
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I will let you know if I change my opinion, until then, please don't contact me about this matter again. I wish you best of luck in finding suitable candidates!

It he then continues, you repeat this exact message once or twice, and then ignore him.

You are still talking him to him, which he seems to interpret as sign you are not fully out of the door yet. With some people, you have to risk burning the bridge! If you act in polite and profesional manner, and he holds this against you, it's him who burned the bridge!

Hearing and accepting no is part of business. We may not like it, but we still have to accept it and move on. He seems unable to move on. So ask yourself: Do you really mind burning this bridge?

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Given that you are looking for a polite, but decisive response, I'll add this option which is essentially a synthesis of several of above approaches:

"Thank you for reaching out to me again. As mentioned in my last mail, I had deliberated your offer thoroughly. I have made my decision, and unfortunately will have to decline it."

The word "decision" is important.

And you will no longer respond to your manager's mails or, if you feel you must, something very short along the lines of "My decision not to join stands." [note that I added "not to join" to avoid the option of a misinterpretation]

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    Thanks for your suggestion. Problem solved now.. read updated post !!
    – SherlockHolmesKePapa
    Commented Jun 5, 2021 at 17:43

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