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I've worked for this company for 6 years.

I just started a month and a half ago, at an office in the circulation department. I came in late 2 days in a row due to dropping my two-year-old at my mom's and then rushing to the office. I've been told "if you can't make it at 9 then don't come at all". I was not going to accept that, especially if I won't get paid for the day, and being a mom is stressful enough.

The company in general is flexible about work hours. Everyone knows my situation. I was not asked to work for this department. The manager is known as rude, cocky, and doesn't care for what anyone has to say.

I tried to have a talk with the manager but he left instead of hearing me out. What should I say to him and how?

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    Any reason why you can't explain to your mother that the current drop-off time is too late for you to be sure of getting to the office on time, and ask to move it 30 minutes earlier? You would then do everything in the morning 30 minutes earlier, and be sure of getting to the office on time. – Patricia Shanahan Oct 4 '17 at 19:16
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    what should I say to him and how ? well... a few questions: why were you late in the first place? can you avoid this in the future? – enderland Oct 4 '17 at 19:17
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    Are you wanting to address the being late or do you want to address your boss so that he changes his position? Because im pretty sure your new manager has made it clear that the latter is not an option. – IDrinkandIKnowThings Oct 4 '17 at 19:35
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I've been told if u can't make it at 9 then don't come at all. I was not going to except that especially if I won't get paid for the day and being a mom is stressful enough. I tried to have a talk with the manager but he left instead of hearing me out. what should I say to him and how ?

It would make sense for you to sit down for a meeting with your manager and try to understand his attendance expectations.

Ask for a few minutes of his time and talk.

If you might need to be late on occasion to take care of your child, and if prompt attendance for this manager is very important, then this might not be the right job for you. Some jobs can be more flexible, others cannot or will not.

Some moms are able to drop their children off early enough so that they can still arrive on time, and others cannot. You need to weigh the job's need against your ability to get there on time.

I've worked for this company for 6 years. Everyone knows my situation. I was not asked to work for this department. The manager is known as rude, cocky, and doesn't care for what anyone has to say.

Perhaps you are in a position to ask for a transfer to a different department. You might get lucky. Still, you could encounter yet another manager who wants his team to show up on time.

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    The office I work at is very flexible. Ive been here for 6yrs just started for a different department. The manger for the department will nor or does not care my situation. I am trying my best to get a 15 minute meeting but he will not hear me out. – Vanessa Oct 4 '17 at 19:31
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    @Vanessa if your manager is refusing to make time to talk to you, you need to talk to his manager about that. – Erik Oct 4 '17 at 19:37
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    While it's distasteful to most, Erik has a good point: If the situation is changed that's one thing, but if the manager refuses to meet with you, then you cannot reliably work under him. No communication on one issue leads to none on others, and that leads to problems in the work environment. You might start with an email before that, though. Get his refusal in writing. Stick a read response or open response so that you know it's been to him and he's read it for future reference, then hit up the manager over him if that is still insufficient. – SliderBlackrose Oct 4 '17 at 20:00
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This is a rare instance where I would say that an escalation is in order.

You have a track record with this company and I would use that. Talk to your previous manager, and your current manager's boss and see if they can help either with a transfer back to your previous manager or to work out with your current manager some sort of arrangement.

If you were just a new employee, then I'd say he had a point, but after six years, assuming you have had no other difficulties, this should at most have been a question such as "I noticed you came in late two days in a row, are you having difficulties?"

Try to approach your manager one last time before escalating. If you get no help, then you may need to either use PTO, or find another job, as they are not showing any flexibility towards you and it won't improve.

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I have to strongly disagree with the other answers, because I think they're offering dangerous advice (although it may be a cultural thing).

My take on this is that it's the managers style, he's just given you a heads up without making a formal issue out of it (however harsh it seems, that's what it is. You could have had a written reprimand entered into your employee records instead, you got a break). It's up to you how to take the heads up, pushing back could easily lead to disciplinary action. A real swine of a manager wouldn't have given you a break.

In time or further in your career you may come to appreciate this no-nonsense management style. It's about focusing on the work during work, not the life dramas and it can have many benefits to all concerned. And similar managers I have known ran a tight, efficient team and were absolutely to be relied upon to accomplish things. Some cantankerous managers are very highly valued both by the company and their teams. Always attempt to see positives in people before dwelling on negatives because they inconvenience you.

This sort of flexibility is usually at the managers discretion for their own team, rather than company policy. New Manager, new discretion.

So listen to the manager. Managing your personal life is your problem. I know it can be difficult, I have 4 kids, but you just have to organise it properly.

The odd lateness due to unforeseen circumstances is usually OK, but more often is disruptive to some workplaces and in others you just have managers that don't care. You're not the only mother working, most handle the situation without their workplace needing to get involved at all.

My best advice is make sure that you don't have to rush, plan a healthy time margin somehow and don't rely too much on others to make it work, because other people have lives as well which can interfere with your plan.

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