How do I ask a friendly coworker to remind me what their name is?

Question

I have a coworker at my place of work that I am somewhat friendly with. Often times when I pass his desk, we'll both say hi and talk for a couple minutes about this or that. We're not exactly close friends, but it's fun talking to him.

I cannot remember his name.

As far as I can tell, there is nothing at his desk to indicate his name, as many other employees have. Looking at his badge would be too obvious, as badges here are generally attached to belt loops, and I'd have to lean in to get a good look, and that would be extremely weird.

Should I tell this person that I can't remember his name? Would that be insulting to him to say that I've forgotten? Should I just let it go and leave them as Mystery Coworker in my mind? We don't directly work together, so I don't think I would ever need to know his name. I'm not sure what the best move is here.

Answer 1

Many companies have a list of employees with pictures somewhere. If yours has one (and even if you don't think it does, it might) then that would be a very easy way to figure out the names of your colleagues. Given that it's a very valuable resource for new employees, most companies will try to keep such a list around.

Might help you learn a few other names, too.

(Of course, if your company doesn't have one, this answer isn't very useful to you, but it might be to other people checking this question.)

Answer 2

The best way to do this without being super awkward is to ask one of your coworkers what his name is.

Hey Bob, do you know the name of the guy that sits in the corner next to Alice? I talk to him all the time but I don't think I ever got his name!

No need to make it super complicated or make a big deal out of it. It happens to everyone.

Answer 3

Just say "I'm sorry, I'm really bad with names, could you remind me what your name is?" or something along those lines. Any reasonable person won't be insulted, in fact they'll appreciate you care enough to actually ask.

If they are insulted, then they aren't a reasonable person, so there's not much to do about it in that case. But I've never had a single person react negatively when I've asked to be reminded of their name.

Answer 4

I have been at both ends of this situation on several occasions. I just go with, "I'm sorry, I forgot your name." The other person instantly provides their name, and we move on to the business. I do the same when my name is forgotten.

Don't make the solution more complicated than the problem. Don't go bothering other people to remind you, don't go asking for emails. It is common for people to forget names. A lot of people don't even remember the names of movie stars and other celebrities.

Answer 5

If you are not sure about his name you could try discreetly asking other coworkers about it, so it does not create a possibly awkward situation by asking that person directly.

How that person may take it really depends on his personality, but if you ask politely I see no problem in asking him directly, as you say you are on good terms with each other. Again, not sure if he knows your name or if you salute yourselves with it, but how he takes it strongly depends on him.

You could also try, as an alternative, asking that person for his company email. Usually those email accounts are something like "[email protected]", so you could infer his name from that information.

Answer 6

Just ask. Showing an interest in a person is pretty much automatically flattering. Unless you are constantly forgetting their name most folks will be pleased that you are going to the effort to learn/remember theirs. Once they tell you, be sure to say it again at least twice in that conversation and try and use it again a time or two in future conversations.

Hey, how's it going. Look, I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it, but the longer I leave it the more embarrassing it will get so I'm going to go ahead and just admit I've forgotten your name.

My name's Bob, it is kind of a common name.

Good to "meet" you again Bob. I'm sure you remembered my name was @TheSoundDefense right, ha ha ha.

Oh yes... Of course. *Embarrassed Smile* Alright, I should get back to work. See you around Bob.

Answer 7

In addition to simply asking (which I've done, just said "Oh man, I just totally blanked on your name, I'm so sorry!" - only to find out they didn't know my name either! We were both a little embarrassed) you can also offer to send them an email then ask how they spell their name so you can make sure they get it. It looks a little contrived if you don't actually have something to send, but if you do it could work like this:

I just saw the most hilarious video of Spongebob singing Black Sabbath's War Pigs! I'll send you the link, um, but I don't think your in my contact list. How do you spell your name again, y'know, just to make sure I send it to the right person?

Answer 8

1. Next time you walk by his desk and he's not there, look at the phone on his desk. If it has an LCD display on it, it might show his name. If not, it will probably show his phone number.
2. Memorize the last 4 or however many digits you need to make an intraoffice call.
3. When you know he's not at his desk, call his number and wait for his voicemail. (You'll probably want to make the call from a conference room phone so that his phone doesn't tell him he has a missed call from you.)
4. Hopefully he will have customized his voicemail greeting to say his name.

Answer 9

First thing I tell people upon meeting them is often that I'm bad at remembering names. But I refuse to be embarrassed about it -- "I hate to admit this, but I seem to have forgotten your name again" is an entirely reasonable statement.

If it bothers you more than it does me, it is possible to train yourself to be better at this skill; those who need it professionally (salesmen, teachers, etc.) do so. I've seen someone recite back 30 names at the end if an icebreaker name-mnemonic game ("my name is George and I like Grapes"), and that's learned rather than innate.

Answer 10

There are already great answers, and I for one would simply ask him again. But I also have an additional way of re-retrieving the name if you don't want to ask him directly: Find something that might interest/entertain him on the internet. Then ask him for his mail address, because you'd like to send him something interesting. Depending on the topic, you may first start a conversation about that topic and then tell him you have an interesting/funny thing to show him and ask for his contact details. Alternatively, you can ask for a chat account or similar, if your company manages something like that.

Of course, you are out of luck if your company mail addresses do not include the full name, but you would know that from your own beforehand to decide if this approach can work for you.

Also, first you might think about whether he may have already sent you a mail. In that case it's easy, just dig out that mail and hopefully you have his name.

Also, our company has a floor plan at the entrance and each room has pictures and names at the door - maybe you have something similar and overlooked it so far?

There are also two very culture depending options I've seen (also dependent on your character):

1. If he shares an office with you, ask your colleagues if you can take a picture with them - as you like to collect them / show your family who you work with, then print it out and have them sign it.
2. If he doesn't share an office and you don't have a floor plan, simply draw one yourself and let it go around - ask your colleagues to fill it out, each with their own name. That way you get all the names and they may even pick up the idea and ask you to hang it in the floor somewhere so all new guys have the benefit of it.

Answer 11

This will only work if your company has a workplace chat or messaging app.

What I've done a few times is put eyes on my coworker as they approached their desk in the morning. Then once I saw the "John McJonathan has logged in" message, I had a good idea of their name. Of course, I'd want to do this two or three times before I was convinced that was actually them.

It also works as they're leaving, but it's a little harder to keep track of "John McJonathan has logged out" and then see your coworker leave, since you aren't really sure what name you're looking for.

I'd try to do it in the mornings if you can.

Answer 12

One I always use is hey what was your name again? When they respond say "Opps I mean your surname!". Since surnames are more often forgotten it is not awkward at all.

This works because most people don't introduce themselves with their last names, also you generally just work first-name basis.

Answer 13

If you are certain the person comes from another country, especially if it's one where a different language is used, you can ask "How do you pronounce your name? I just want to be sure I say it right." This comes with a slight risk, and you may then have to think on your feet. For instance, if you are working together in an English-speaking country and they look at you quizzically and say "It's Michael", you might say "Yes I know, but I wanted to make sure I got the L sound exactly right."