In our group, there are two teams. While the group leader is the common official manager, each of our teams has a team lead, dealing with the daily managing of tasks. The teams have a very different way of working and planning due to history and non-overlapping tasks.
Both teams are seriously understaffed for quite some time now. The members of the other team complain about this a lot and I believe those complaints are reasonable, since they plan their tasks individually and thus are drawn into never-ending discussions and face serious problems once somebody gets sick etc. For us, on the other hand, it is almost never affecting our daily work, since we believe only a small portion of the tasks can only be done by an expert and our team lead thus discusses priorities and realistic delivery dates centrally for the whole team and handles all the escalations to higher management due to mismatch between capacity and requested delivery dates.
Reacting to those complaints with anything else other than compassion has led to attacks on our way of working in the past, e.g. "your way of working causes bugs", which are mostly groundless (bugs, e.g. are closely monitored in our organisation) or subjective. Some members of the other team seem to have very strong emotions on this topic and seem to fear we want to impose our working style on them. I have thus decided to not react at all when these complaints are made in private conversation.
We do have common feedback rounds with our shared manager however, where I feel it is important to point out that while being understaffed for us as well is a problem, we, as developers, do not face the same problems in our daily work. We are often even explicitly asked by our manager to comment on the complaints. I have tried responding in the most tactful way possible, but even the slightest sign of criticism (e.g. " we do not face this problem because of different working style ") leads to long explanations about how their approach is superior to ours.
I am tired of this and it begins to sour the relationship between the teams. At the same time, I feel it is important to communicate the facts to our manager.
Is their any way to do this without triggering an emotional response from the other team?
(Asking for separate feedback rounds is probably not an option, since our manager's stated intention is to make us feel like a group instead of two independent teams.)