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My manager recently 'strongly suggested' I apply for a job opening in our team that was a pay grade and title higher, from senior mid level developer to Jr level senior developer. As my manager said, bringing my compensation in line with the work I already do day in and day out.

I applied and was called by the recruiter on Tuesday who gave me the numbers: new title + 1 pay grade bump (~22% extra pay + more bonus potential + extra PTO). I was happy with this since it would bring my compensation in line with what an outside hire would be paid for the position. I was actually surprised and had thought they would not give me such a large increase in compensation since it is an internal promotion.

Wednesday the recruiter called me to tell me HR only approved 15% and a title bump but no grade jump, so no extra PTO or extra bonus potential. Even though these new numbers where pretty much what I originally thought the company would give anyway, I was kind of shocked since it sounded like the original numbers which already been approved. The recruiter then clarified that those numbers were what my manager was trying to get me and that he had just wanted to tell me.

Even though the final numbers were what I had suspected originally, the poor job done by the recruiter made this entire ordeal feel almost like a demotion more than something good. If I didn't have a week of PTO planned in two weeks time, I would have taken the rest of the week off because I was pretty upset. Topping it off, while being in a bad mood from all of this, late Friday my manager asked for an update on some time sensitive work my team had to get done before the weekend. My response was probably not the most cordial: constantly asking when you will have the data is less helpful than just sitting in your office with the lights off, you will have it when we have it.

What is the proper way to let my manager know that I am sorry for the snippy response and that I appreciate his effort and his backing and I don't fault him for the recruiter's bad work but that at the same time it is also kind of disheartening? Is this an email sort of situation or face to face?

closed as unclear what you're asking by Dukeling, scaaahu, gnat, Chris E, Snow Oct 23 '17 at 6:32

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  • Don't bad-mouth in the workplace - just say there was a miscommunication. Apart from that, it sounds like you already have a response in mind, so it's not particularly clear what you want from us. – Dukeling Oct 22 '17 at 9:08
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    Sounds to me like you have some reason to be annoyed. Perhaps explaining it would be better and see how that works. Both parties promised one thing then delivered something else - it would naturally feel to you like you were misled. – StephenG Oct 22 '17 at 14:52
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Is there a good way to let my manager know that I am sorry for the snippy response and that I appreciate his effort and his backing and I don't fault him for the recruiter's bad work but that at the same time it is also kind of disheartening?

Of course there is a good way. It's called an honest apology.

Ask for a moment of his time in person. Apologize. Don't make excuses for your rude remarks. Don't blame your outburst on the recruiter - your anger might be due to your disappointment, but your rudeness was all on you.

If you already have a good relationship with your manager, he'll understand that these sorts of things happen.

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    I am thankful that I do have a good relationship with my manager. This morning he called me into his office, I was dreading the discussion but I knew the end result would be ok, even if uncomfortable. Even before I could say anything he let me know how livid he was with the recruiter for not getting everything set before talking to me. Apparently this was not the first time this had happened. In the end I still apologized for the remarks which he accepted, calling it understandable and water under the bridge from his point of view. – Hangman4358 Oct 24 '17 at 5:21
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Is there a good way to let my manager know that I am sorry for the snippy response and that I appreciate his effort and his backing and I don't fault him for the recruiter's bad work but that at the same time it is also kind of disheartening?

Seems to me that the whole recruiter situation is a different matter and does not justify your response to your manager; good thing you realize that and want to apologize.

It also seems that your manager actually wanted to get you a better raise than it was supposed to be, so he is actually on your side here.

If you want to apologize I suggest you do it personally, face to face if possible. In this situation you could just be honest, and probably say something like:

Hello boss. I am sorry I overreacted last day. I was upset at something else, and the upcoming deadline had me worried, so I probably was not so kind in my reply. I truly ment no disrespect.

I would refrain from mentioning the recruiters "mistake", as your boss was actually trying to help you out and responding in a demanding way may not be received so well (plus, it was not your boss's mistake to begin with).

Seems like you got a good raise anyways (and what you expected), so you should probably take it, but also clear any doubts you may still have with the recruiter to prevent further misunderstandings.

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