I'm looking for some answers about work/life balance. My job isn't exactly that stressful, but I'm not being a very good employee because of the worry about my home life and I don't know what quite to do.
My partner is bipolar and drinks when in a hyper state, this has a knock on effect of causing bucket loads of stress, ranging from threats of self harm, to embroiling us as a family into difficult situations, to spending sprees, to large amounts of debt. It is immensely frustrating to deal with as I find that I have to run around sorting out the kids particularly after school got social services involved.
For the last year I've found this increasing hard to handle, not knowing what will be going on when I get home from work.
My work has suffered, if you were a co-worker looking at me you would think I'm flakey, lazy and not engaged, because of the stressors around my family, such as having to drop everything because I've had "that" call from the school.
I'm fed up of all of this and I'm seriously contemplating quitting work. This is mostly due to me not fully engaged and my feelings about that, because I'm not engaged, I'm performing sub-optimally, things aren't getting done, I'm behind in my work, I'm letting the business and the teams down.
I have difficulties coping with balancing the stress of home with work, i don't particularly want to as I like the money that pays for the roof over our heads. Equally, I don't want to loose my job for being a under-performing employee, well, for the previous reason.
I've come up with a little game plan to improve my engagement at work, which is based around CPD but it's not for the area I work in. I also have a plan to put forward to my director to develop something that our division has budgeted for. But my major concern is, is that when I get around to doing this, my partner has a significant episode that throws my plans out of kilter and I'm back to square one of sorting out mess.
So any thoughts on what I should do? I don't want to give up on my partner as they are ill and needs support, I don't want to give up on my job as it would mean isolating myself further and missing the opportunity that I could turn things around and make it a fulfilling, challenging and engaging.
So, with all that in mind are there any answers can any of you give me, so that I can turn things around?
Some context, I'm a 51yo man, working in PMI in the UK, a software architect in IT delivery.