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I worked for a development company 2 years ago. I was fired on my last day of probation, after 6 months. I wasn't really expecting it. I felt a bit bitter about it; The boss also behaved improperly towards me on one occasion, but I liked working there and felt like I got along with the team. Then I was asked to leave when many other developers who were less skilled and experienced remained.

Some time ago, I received a message about them organizing an "alumni event" where I was invited. I initially said that it would be great to meet them, but then I felt apprehensive about going, and kept delaying my answer.

They are doing it at the offices, after-hours, and most of the team will probably be there, with one of the managers "spinning some tunes".

Is it OK to organize such an event and invite me? How should I behave if I go?

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closed as off-topic by Dukeling, gnat, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Mister Positive♦, PeteCon Nov 28 '17 at 15:40

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    Is it possible someone forgot to take your name off a mailing list? Maybe you were invited by accident. – user34587 Nov 28 '17 at 13:05
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    You weren't fired, rather you didn't pass your probation. Being fired implies that you did something wrong that has upset the company. Not passing your probation just means you didn't perform at the level they were hoping for you. There is not usually any ill feeling from the company when someone doesn't pass their probation. – thelem Nov 28 '17 at 13:37
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    @thelem Not passing the probation could also mean that when the manager behaved "improperly", the manager didn't like the reaction they either did or didn't get. Let's not automatically assume that companies are entirely rational and fair entities. – David Aldridge Nov 28 '17 at 13:46
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    "I have a history of getting fired at the end of probation." - this might indicate that there is something more to the story. You might have a problem you are not aware of. – Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen Nov 28 '17 at 13:55
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    I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because the op is Venting and never actually intended or questioned going (per comment: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/103219/…) – IDrinkandIKnowThings Nov 28 '17 at 14:57
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Is it OK for companies to organize such events?

In general, absolutely. There's no reason a company shouldn't have a get together with people that used to work there. However... if I were organising such an event, I wouldn't invite staff who left under less than amicable circumstances, in the same way that I wouldn't invite friends I've fallen out with to a personal event. That's just a recipe for trouble.

Should I go?

Probably not. You still hold bad feelings (maybe rightly, maybe wrongly) about how you left the company. Unless you know that you can keep those bad feelings in check for the duration of the event, you run the risk of starting a discussion that can only lead to damage.

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By implication, and Alumni event is for former employees of a company.

Since you're also now a "former" employee, you've been invited as well.

Yes, Alumni events happen and they're useful for networking and keeping in touch. Since you had a good experience with this, it makes sense for you to accept the invitation if you so wish to.

You probably won't meet your old manager there, but you might see other people you might want to network with.

If there's nothing of interest/value to you at the event, at least you'll have had a drink, some food, and some experience of these events for the future.

If you go, you can get something positive out of the experience; you won't lose anything except your time. If you don't go, you won't get anything.

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  • It's a small-ish company, I think the managers will be there, and one of them will be DJing! – user14154 Nov 28 '17 at 12:55
  • Ok. So if the company is that small, then the managers will most probably know who's invited. If you weren't welcome, you could assume that you wouldn't have been invited in the first place. Even if you go and there's bad blood present, you can turn around and leave. Or you can go and get some good leads for further potential work. Put it this way, nothing positive will happen if you don't go, and you won't lose anything by attending (apart from a bit of time). Plus, you got canned two years ago. Things change, attitudes change, people forget past ills. – Snow♦ Nov 28 '17 at 13:05
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    Yes I will loose time. The worst that can happen is that I stress out and have a bad time, when I have already scheduled a meeting with a friend on the same day and I'm pretty I'll be having a good time with him. – user14154 Nov 28 '17 at 13:27
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    You've answered your own question then. – Snow♦ Nov 28 '17 at 13:28
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    @Rolf - Then why did you ask this question!!!!!!!!\ – IDrinkandIKnowThings Nov 28 '17 at 14:56
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First, getting fired is part of being employed - it's usually nothing personal, and even if it is don't respond to it as if it is personal. Your reaction will do nothing good but add another level of harm to your own hurt.

Second, socializing is always good, and you may get to know some other former employees of the firm - and who knows, somewhere down the line, that connection might land you a great job in a different place.

Remember that you are ultimately responsible for your own response, and you always get to chose what an event means to you!

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    socializing is always good - Citation needed – IDrinkandIKnowThings Nov 28 '17 at 14:58
  • Firing is part of being employed - Citation needed – Mark Nov 29 '17 at 14:15
  • OK so say I got raped - I can choose to that it means a good thing for me? Your claims sound good, however I'm not sure how any of what you described really "works". How can socializing never be bad? What if you're really sick and need some time alone? – user14154 Nov 29 '17 at 15:11
  • From being fired to being raped? -- no comment. Even if socializing i never bad (my claim), something else might be better in a specific context - like staying home an getting better. – Flindt Nov 30 '17 at 9:34