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My colleagues make dirty jokes about me, gossip about my personal life, laugh at me and try to make a fool of me. For example, they make fun of and make dirty jokes about my family. They laugh at me for no reason even when they are busy at their work. They try to humiliate me and try their best to embarrass me. They have spread fake rumours about my character, morals, intentions at the office.

It seems they have told others colleagues to stay away from me. People have started hating me for a false impression they have of me.

How can I stop this?

  • 3
    ‘How can I stop this’. Call HR – PagMax Dec 19 '17 at 2:47
  • Why do they do this? How did it start? – AffableAmbler Dec 19 '17 at 4:07
  • Earlier, one of them made very hurtful personal comments on me because of jealousy maybe, I told him to stop. He is an egoistic person and now he is trying to tease me more. I can't believe that grown up professionals act like kids. – Alone56 Dec 19 '17 at 4:22
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    You give us with your interpretation of his actions, but no examples. It may be jealousy, or it could be a misunderstanding. You said you told him to stop so he's probably not taking you seriously - but still something to keep in mind. – rath Dec 19 '17 at 10:00
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    "People have started hating me for a false impression they have of me." This makes me think you're from a different culture, or from a different religion, or from a different country origin. Usually, the more different someone is, the more likely others are to believe lies about them. Is my impression of your situation correct? Also, are you located in the US? The more concrete details you can give us, the more we will be able to help. – Stephan Branczyk Dec 19 '17 at 12:54
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Sit down, get a pen, and a calendar, and start writing down every single incidence you can remember, and the approximate date it occurred.

Start also writing down the date and incidence for any new forms of harassment you are currently going through.

Include specific words and gestures used, and the names of the people involved.

After some time, take your general concerns to HR or your supervisor. There is no need to flood them with all of your logs, just a little portion of your list will do. Hopefully that will help. If there is no change in the environment, then you can start pulling out your longer list. If there is still no change, then you can make call a lawyer and make full use of your records.

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How can I stop this.

As you describe this it sounds like a serious situation. Normally I would recommend you to speak to those coworkers first, so you can ask them to stop these pranks and jokes.

If you never did this on the beginning then that is probably why they kept bothering you and escalated the jokes. For future reference, I suggest you put a halt to this as soon as it starts to bothering you, so you have a chance to stop this by speaking clearly to them and not having to take other measures.

Now, if they don't stop (or if it is as serious as you describe) you should definitely take this to HR or you manager. Be sure to have some evidence to back up your claims and the way they are treating you, as it will help make your point more evident. Again, if this is as serious as you describe it I am sure people are also aware of this, but having evidence is better.

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I'm not there and I didn't see any of this, so it's hard to draw conclusions.

My first question would be if you're sure that there is really hostility specifically directed at you, or if the people in the office all act this way with each other, and it's considered "all in good fun".

Assuming it's just you, what is there about you that makes them single you out? Do you dress differently from everyone else? Do you act unusual in some way? Do you come from a different country or culture or ethnic background? Do you have unpopular beliefs, whether political or religious or social or whatever? If you're different in some way, do you go out of your way to advertise your differences?

Just for example, if you are constantly lecturing everyone about why they should become vegetarians or take up weight-lifting or whatever, it's not really fair to be offended when people express disinterest or disagreement with your beliefs. But if you have unusual beliefs and you keep them to yourself, then you have a right to be left alone.

So ... what is it about you that people are making fun of? You don't say. You say it's a "false impression", but what is that impression?

  • This is more of a series of questions for the OP (which belong in comments on the original post) than an answer. – Mel Reams Dec 21 '17 at 2:16
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    @MelReams These are mostly rhetorical questions, or questions for the OP to ask himself, not questions for which I am seeking answers. – Jay Dec 21 '17 at 18:12
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I would agree with the responses above to document the events that occur and report them to your manager.

In addition, my advice would be to know who your supervisor is and focus on doing whatever they tell you to do regarding your tasks. Any manager appreciates an employee who earns the company a profit. I have had similar situations in the past, where coworkers were behaving in an inappropriate and discriminatory manner towards me. In addition to reporting the behavior, I focused strongly on the work at hand and out-performed my colleagues. Eventually, you will look better than your coworkers and earn a promotion, and they will have to respect you more.

So, document, report, and focus on performing your job well.

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Your question is rather vague but from what I gather, my guess is that they do it because they get some kind of sick pleasure out of your reaction. If at all possible, just try to ignore them. If they try to sabotage your work, then that is a real problem and you should get HR involved.

Getting along with your co-workers can be nice, but it's certainly not a necessity. If you ignore them, chances are they'll quickly get bored and move on. If not, keep ignoring them anyway. They clearly don't deserve the pleasure of your company. You're there to do a job, not to make friends. Look to fulfill your social needs outside of work if you have to.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

--Eleanor Roosevelt

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