I am in a difficult/weird situation that I need to handle very soon. I have moved in the Netherlands for a job position in September 2017, and I have been working there since now.

Approximately two months ago, beginning of January 2018. after coming back from the holidays, I have decided that Netherlands aren't really made for me to live in (too cold, cultural differences, etc).

Since I am a very honest and direct person, I talked to the CEO about this and told him that it was not in my interest continuing my presence in the Netherlands longer than September 2018.

It seemed like he took it pretty well, however days later he changed his mind, telling me that they are looking for longer term employees, and that they wanted to evaluate if it would make any sense renewing my contract in April 2018. They looked through the backlog, and decided not to.

Now, this is totally fine, since I wanted to leave the country and move to a warmer one, like Spain or even back to Italy, however as time went by, I think that my decision was too drastic and quick, and took without thinking enough of it, a week after I came back from the holidays.

Time is running short, and I have only a month and a half to find a new job and arrange relocation, or to find another job here and stay in the Netherlands for a bit more.

If I ever decided to remain here, I would feel guilty, especially because I'd need to tell my current employer that I changed my mind, and that I am looking for another company in the Netherlands. At the same time, I wouldn' want to remain in my current company (even after he'd maybe change his mind on renewing the contract) after this.

What's the best way to handle this?

  • @IDrinkandIKnowThings Yes I did give notice the first weeks of January, that I wanted to leave in September 2018.
    – GiamPy
    Commented Mar 7, 2018 at 13:33

4 Answers 4


Your employer has decided to not renew your contract. You have no actual nor implied obligation to the company beyond that point. So just figure out the best move for you and move forward. That is what the company did. And you should handle your affairs the same way. Your company is unlikely to have any expectations otherwise, and if they do then those expectations are unreasonable.

While I understand your position, providing them more notice than you are required put you in this position. They have now chosen to sever ties with you in April. What choices you make beyond that is not their concern. They could have chosen to try to work with you to get the most out of your time, but instead decided to just end the relationship when it was most convenient to them. Regardless of the needs of you and your family. This was a business decision on their part. In making that decision they willingly gave up any influence on your life decisions beyond that termination date.

Please see this question for more on that:

Would it be a good idea to give more than 2 weeks notice that I'm moving?

Please remember that your boss is not your personal career planner. They can help you with your career in the company but when your interests part ways with your company's interests then expect your boss to watch out for the company not you.


You have no legal or contractual obligation to your current employer beyond working out the remainder of your contract and abiding by any post-employment restrictions such as NDAs or non-compete clauses. It's your life and you are free to change your mind as you have.

That doesn't mean however that your soon-to-be-ex employer won't be somewhat offended if you stay in the Netherlands, while I've no reason to doubt your sincerity it could easily be interpreted by them as you having lied about your reasons for leaving and such an interpretation doesn't reflect well on you.

Obviously this is unlikely to be a major concern since you won't be working there any more but I would consider that bridge likely to be well and truly incinerated and I wouldn't expect to be able to use them as a reference in your future job hunt(s). These aren't insurmountable issues though and you certainly shouldn't make such a large life decision as what country you choose to live in be driven by them.

As a side note I'd suggest having a good think about how you intend to present your reasons for leaving your last job when interviewing - I'd stick with something along the lines of

The company chose not to renew my contract based on the work load they had at the time

since saying

well I changed my mind about wanting to live here a couple of months after moving and then I changed it back again a couple of months later

will make you look extremely flakey at best and at the same time raise the not-unreasonable concern that you may well change your mind yet again a few months into any new employment!

As for how best to proceed I suggest being honest with them, I'd make it clear that you aren't just angling for them to renew you again though:

I just wanted to let you know tha I've actually decided to give living here some more time. I understand that you have likely begun planning for the future on the basis of my leaving in April so I'm not asking you to retract my resignation but I felt it was important to be honest with you and I hope you don't hold it against me.

  • 1
    The employer has terminated their relationship with the OP why would they be offended if the OP decides to get a new job in the Netherlands? Commented Mar 5, 2018 at 22:32
  • Offended is perhaps not quite the right word. I don't want to put words in their mouth but it does run the risk of making the OP look like a liar who couldn't admit that he just didn't want to work for that company and didn't have the guts to say that for some reason so made up a story that he was leaving the country instead.
    – motosubatsu
    Commented Mar 6, 2018 at 12:02
  • I would urge you to clarify that. The answer makes it sound like the business might have an issue with it rather than the old manager might reduce his already deflated opinion. Commented Mar 6, 2018 at 15:01
  • It's not like I don't want to work in this company anymore because of trivial reasons. It's just because after I told them something (that I wanted to quit because I was leaving the country) I wouldn't want to go back to them and say: "Hey, I am actually not leaving the country and looing for another job here in the city. Bye!" I find it disrespectful.
    – GiamPy
    Commented Mar 7, 2018 at 11:13
  • @GiamPy - Throwing it in their face is disrespectful. Just going about your life at the end of your relationship is just normal. You have nothing to say to them. You gave them notice they decided to end employment even earlier. They knew when they did that they would be cutting your legs out from under you as far as future plans. It was a business decision not personal. Commented Mar 7, 2018 at 13:51

Is there any reason why you HAVE to tell your current employer that you are staying? If you don't want to work at the company anymore, that's fine, but unless there is some personal reason why you think you owe your current employer additional information, then I wouldn't.

If you feel like you must, out of respect for your CEO or because you risk running into them later, then just be honest with them. Let them know that after considering your options you've decided to give their country some additional effort in adjusting to the new culture.

This way, you've given them an honest, up-front head's up, and you can go about staying, or moving, with a guilt-free conscience.


Your employer is not your friend

Acting as it is leads to your situation. You don't tell your employer you're gonna quit until you are committed to quitting.

The same follows to your current situation.

They are not continuing your contract and you do not want to change their mind

So it seems like you have an agreement and there is nothing to add.

Answer to your question?

Do nothing


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