I'd like to start off by saying that I have looked at the question Boss too friendly, but its not quite the same.
This person is not only too friendly, but too chatty and clingy as well. She seems to need my constant company, even if the conversation is completely lopsided. She sits across the cubicle from me (relatively short dividers; you can see the other person if you crane your neck - and that makes me all the more accessible for her chatter)
Here are some examples:
- She comes over to my place only to say that she's been looking for person X all morning and keeps missing him. And that she has 2 important things to discuss with him. I know that's a bait for me take and ask what important things they are. I don't ask, so she repeats it. I still just give her a disinterested nod, and don't ask. She volunteers the information herself. It has absolutely nothing to do with me. When something similar happened in the past, I made the mistake of actually asking her why she was telling me all this when I have nothing to do with any of it. She had some lengthy response to it. She just needs some form of conversation from me - any form. So I don't feed the conversation at all these days.
- I had a cold, which when she asked about, I told her usually goes away in a day or 2. But she talked to me for a good 10 minutes, advising me to do this and that to get better. She always has unsolicited advice for everything I do. Both professional and personal. I find that very patronizing.
- When she schedules meetings or does something similar, that involves the entire team, she only talks to me about it beforehand. Also gives me extra information about why she decided to do what she did - information that I do not need. I have to tell her every time to talk to others about it too.
- I'm just walking along, trying to get from point A to B in office, and if I happen to cross her path, she stops me or tags along, and has something to ask or say.
There's so much more, but I don't want to turn this into a rant. Here's what I've done so far to distance myself from her:
I always say no when she asks if I wanna have my lunch or coffee break with her. I never initiate a conversation with her or ask for help unless its necessary for my work. When she drones on, I don't respond, don't even make any eye contact and just give her the laziest, most disinterested nod, all the while doing what I was doing. I've tried telling her sometimes that I'm in the middle of something, but that only buys me 5 minutes of peace. I find that it's least disrupting to my work and temperament if I just say nothing and continue with what I was doing. Even when I have my headphones on, she comes to me and talks of pointless and irrelevant things. Outside of office, like at team events, I stay as far away from her as possible and maintain minimum contact. Moving my workstation away from hers is not an option though.
I can't possibly ignore her more, and if someone did a fraction of this to me, I would get the message lightning speed! But somehow she has the impression that we're best friends! Or that I'm her rubber duck?
As a future boss, she's quite attentive of my career goals and our one-on-one meetings have been fruitful. So there isn't any professional complaint. But I don't want this extra attention and personal relationship she's awarding me. How do I convey this to her effectively, while maintaining a working relationship with good fences? Especially since she's about to be my boss, I don't want to do anything that could make us bitter.