We can call the freelancer that has been excluded Jane.
Jane was also a teacher, more specifically, my information technology teacher.
As the time goes, she had seen some special abilities in me, talking about the way I'd solve a problem in my computer class despite all my classmates. In this year of school, there would have been the opportunity to have a working experience, so she decided to try to introduce me to the office where she had a business relationship of some years.

Personal background

I'm very insecure of my actions. However that's not caused by lack of self-esteem but because i'm not sure that my (eventual) action pleases the receiver.
Furthermore sometimes i have a lot of trouble to feel at ease with strangers or with doubtful (about me or my skills) people. If this just isn't enough, i'm very introvert/shy. Raising bad thoughts (talking about workplace) because i'm not very friendly/talkative. Apart from individual days or situations that maybe i'm more warm.

Office background

At the office there was a married couple that worked together, we can call them Jacob and Sophia. For other reasons, such as deadlines or projects, Jacob and Jane spent a lot of time together, also some nights. I'm not going to describe the details of this situation because it is worse than expected, but, as you can imagine Sophia got really angry.

Working experience

So, as planned, I've been introduced to the office, while all the above situation was in full development. Before of the actual begin of the working experience, Jane had been really secure of my introduction and also explicitly said that she wanted to carefully follow my experience. (She would have been my tutor)
However, even if the experience had been a month long (And has gone really well to prove my abilities into the office), she had been present just over 4/5 days of the full duration, because her business relationship with the office has been intentionally ended during my experience.

After the working experience

The next year of school began, and I finally saw Jane again, but she weren't the same.
Before she was very friendly and warm, but then she was like a stranger, cold and obviously didn't give me the same attention. Some months later, Jacob got in touch with me to give me some work, and i obviously accepted because i wanted to work in an I.T. environment and because i loved coding.

In Conclusion

I don't feel too much at my ease in my workplace because of my bad introduction, and i feel that Jacob or/and Sophia don't trust me or simply have a special consideration of mine. (More Sophia than Jacob) I like a lot my work and don't want to change it because of this reasons. Perhaps i would want to make it better or simply more pleasant, so:

  • How can i introduce a talk about Jane with Jacob and/or Sophia? It's a very hot topic so i must take it carefully if i don't want to lose my job too;
  • If not by talking, how can i be more friendly to make Jacob and/or Sophia trust me?

Thank you for you attention and sorry for my English but it isn't my main language.

Also, if you don't mind giving me an advice

I then had a talk with Jane where she explicitly said that it was also my fault if she had broken up with the office. So as explained before, because of my goodwill with other people, I've been psychologically stabbed but she hadn't received a bad response from me.
I would like to talk with Jane again, because in my opinion i MUST make the situation clear, even with her, that probably has seen me as the cause of her actions, how should I contact her to talk about this again? And how should introduce my point of view?

  • 3
    I am confused. Too much formatting in my opinion.
    – paparazzo
    Mar 8, 2018 at 18:32
  • Seems something is missing here - why would Jane say/think that it is your fault she left the office? Please clarify. Sep 21, 2023 at 12:41

2 Answers 2


It sounds like you have been introduced by someone who did a bad thing at the office and left/got fired. It seems to me you had nothing to do with it.

So keep out of it. Don't start talking about it.

Strengthen your relation with Jacob and Sophia by never bringing this topic up, and being a friendly colleague with them.

  • Frankly, even if OP did have something to do with it, I think this still applies. You gain nothing, and stand to lose good standing in the office from trying to bring this up. Sep 21, 2023 at 17:11

Jacob, Sophia and Jane can do what they want or don't want. You do not need to discuss anything with anybody there, and it should not affect you. Having married couples in one dept may not be a good idea. Not keeping relationships strictly professional with freelancers/customers may not be a good idea. Having such a concentration of people with a lapse in judgement in one place may not be a good idea (WTF is Jacob still doing in that company).

None of this concerns you. You got recommended by a teacher, you are vaguely aware that she does not work there any more. Carrying grudges against people who were recommended by somebody you don't like is as unprofessional as the other behaviors. If they exhibit this, either go to the manager and explain that you feel some unfair resentments against you or leave/look for another company to work for (which is what i would prefer).

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