I had taken a leave of absence from work last year due to a bad break up with my partner. I had caught him cheating on me for a quite long period of time. My mind was really out of focus and my heart was really hurting. I really couldn't give my best at work and wouldn't have been able to meet the expectations to me at work. So I decided to request for my manager's approval for the said reason which is, I think, a fair enough reason.

Then after months of arrangements, me and my partner had patched things up and got back together recently. This shocked my manager, as last year I really made my mind not to forgive him and no plans of getting back with him, because I was really hurting at that time. I just felt annoyed that I was being questioned now about that leave of absence being granted, when we still ended up getting back together. Because my point is the leave of absence being requested was due to me not being in the right state at that time. I decided to take a few days break to get myself together, so when I came back to work I would be able to perform well.

Is it really necessary for me to update my manager on me and my partner getting back together?

2 Answers 2


No, you don't need to tell your manager that you're back with your partner again. All he's concerned about is whether you're in a fit state to work effectively.

If you feel you're ready to get back to work, get back to work.

If you're asked, just say that the situation is resolved and you're ok to continue working. It's up to you what amount of detail to put into it.

  • thank you very much for the advise, I really appreciate it. I feel the same way that's why I asked if in case my mind set was wrong as I was being questioned here at the office why I didn't tell my manager about the situation.
    – Dee Di
    Apr 26, 2018 at 13:18

I understand that you feel annoyed at the "questioning" however it seems to me that he was more concerned trying to see if you made the right choice -> and mostly that this won't happen again.

You don't have to explain everything into detail to your boss, however it might be reasuring to him to hear a quick update. (depending on where you are from / how accepting your boss is / the work culture at your job) you could keep the following in mind:

  • Explaining how things (like communication) improved between you and your partner
  • You could explain that at the time it was mostly the shock that coused you to take a few days of. but now you are doing better.
  • Stay realistic, stay loyal to yourself, make sure that if anything where to happen again that you can handle it better, and that you can stay focused on your job (i know this is easier said than done, but this is mostly the whole reason for your boss his reaction)
  • thank you, I really appreciate it and point taken. what you said is right. the problem is, it wasn't my boss who's asking me up about it and pushing that I need to update our boss because she was shocked when she heard about me and my partner, the person was telling me to update our boss is my closest officemate
    – Dee Di
    Apr 26, 2018 at 13:23
  • which I didn't know what she's up to as the leave of absence was last year and now she's bringing it up. my boss didn't tell me anything. that's why I asked if I really have to update my boss as I was thinking it wouldn't be necessary anymore as I am working and performing well after the short break (1 week) I was allowed to take.
    – Dee Di
    Apr 26, 2018 at 13:23
  • I will point out that taking a break because of a break up will almost always make a poor impression on your boss and everyone up the chain who has to approve the absence. This is a poor choice for your future career if you do this again. Especially if it is with the same guy at the same workplace because that now shows poor judgement as well.
    – HLGEM
    Apr 26, 2018 at 13:52
  • HLGEM it isn't just a break up. it was really a bad break up. our daughter and our families got affected. me and my partner have been called up by our community leader because of his mistress was asking us in his office which I have to attend to, me and my daughter have to move our things to my parents house. my heart was really hurting theres a lot of things happening so im really out of focused and cant really perform well at work. my daughter was asking questions was hurting as well so I think the decision I made helped me a lot and after that a week break I am performing well at work
    – Dee Di
    Apr 26, 2018 at 14:05

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