From another post on this website I've seen that "I should just be honest with my team and let them know", I'm not sure if it would be the same here?

The context:

Every time my team has a new member, we go on a team lunch, based on the new members choosing. The new member has already told me that he wants to go out and eat non-veg, most likely fish or non-veg soup.

This is a problem to me because:

a) I don't eat non-veg

b) If I do come then I would have to buy something vegetarian while there is meat all around me (which makes me kind of uncomfortable and makes me loose my appetite)

c) I feel like if I tell them about this situation then they will just decide to go to a vegetarian place, in which case the new member does not get to choose and has to accept even if they don't want to

I am not sure how to approach this situation?

  • Is it an option to eat before the team lunch, and just tag along for the bonding, or is "losing your appetite" more serious than just not being hungry anymore in such a restaurant?
    – Erik
    Commented May 10, 2018 at 5:57

1 Answer 1


Following my advice on another (but very different) question about lunch, you just tell the team and the new person who picked the location your exact reasons, that you only eat vegetarian food, and that it affects you badly being surrounded by people eating meat.

This has the advantage that the team knows what is going on, that nobody suspects you are snubbing the new employee, that you are not caught in lies if you come up with a lame excuse, and in the end the new employee might change to a place that is more suitable for you. For example, switching from a steak house to a pizzeria.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .