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I report to 2 bosses, one that is offshore and one on shore. I am comfortable working with my direct boss who is offshore but not the one at on shore.

The day I joined she (on shore boss) told me that I will get to hear rumours that I don't have to believe like she being partial. Within a week, I could feel that though my colleagues seemed to be happy, they really weren't. I noticed her being biased towards one of the colleagues particularly, seen them hanging out together (which I don't care, it's their personal stuff) but when this particular colleague of mine arrives late without usual intimation and is mostly unavailable at work for hours and is outside, he's not questioned (conflict of interest) but the rest of us are if we do the same.

I have tried to suggest ways of improving certain things in the team but she is adverse to criticism or suggestions. It's been a few months already and I have had my other colleagues who despise her (she asks us to come on time but arrives late herself) confess to me how they feel under-appreciated and sick of her being biased to this particular colleague.I also got to hear a lot of ugly incidents revolving her which I don't want to discuss here.

The only reason I still seem to bear to work is because of my offshore boss and I have no guts to tell him what's going on because she comes under a lot of other offshore bosses as well and I don't think anyone will understand. Now, I am not sure if I should quit my job because I don't feel happy with the current work environment that I am in.

The outcome I want is to work in a comfortable work environment under a good boss and I am unable to decide on that (because my offshore boss is good). Besides, I have sacrificed a lot to get this job. I am almost 2K miles apart from my family just to work here. The company's working hours and pay are good and I am up for a new project from my offshore boss. But should I give up on all these just because of my on-shore boss whom I have to deal with everyday is my question. Is it worth it to still continue?

closed as unclear what you're asking by gnat, scaaahu, OldPadawan, DarkCygnus, Mister Positive Jun 19 '18 at 12:47

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    Unfortunately, we can't tell you what to do as we don't know enough about the situation. Do you have an outcome you're aiming for in mind? We can help you with how to have the best chance at getting you what you want. – Erik Jun 10 '18 at 17:42
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    The outcome I have is to work in a comfortable work environment under a good boss and I am unable to decide on that (because my offshore boss is good). Besides, I have sacrificed a lot to get this job. I am almost 2K miles apart from my family just to work here. The company's working hours and pay are good and I am up for a new project from my offshore boss. But should I give up on all these just because of my on-shore boss whom I have to deal with everyday is my question. Is it worth it to still continue? – kevin Jun 10 '18 at 17:52
  • Could you edit into the question? That makes it clear what you want to accomplish, which in turn should make it clear enough that someone can answer it :) – Erik Jun 10 '18 at 17:53
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    Could you also edit this into paragraphs? – Peter M Jun 10 '18 at 18:14
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    How is this impacting your personally? I don't see a reference to you being in a situation per se, other than the fact that she seems biased and not disciplined enough to show up on time. – Freewill Jun 10 '18 at 20:37
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It sounds like there are two underlying parts to your question here: 1) What can you do to deal with your boss and improve your environment and 2) is it worth it to continue.

What can you do to deal with your boss and improve your environment

Lots! Even the lowest person on the totem pole can influence the most powerful team members in a company - sometimes just by asking a question or being a good listener. I've felt a lot of the office-politics pain you're describing here, including being publicly chastised and having my genius ideas shot down or ignored. I suggest valuing every opportunity to learn from those who are hard to get along with because you'll find those types of people at every company. Sometimes that type of person has a way of obtaining a lot of office power.

A couple reminders for dealing with office politics:

  1. Insist on respect. If someone badmouths you or accuses you or implies your idea is stupid, politely defend yourself! In your mind or on paper, role play a couple scenarios where you can say something to softly or politely defend your assertion without causing further consternation. This is harder when you're in a vulnerable position at your company, but failing to insist on respect can set a dangerous precedent.

  2. Learn from mistakes. After an altercation or another mistake, crack open your journal and write about the incident and how you might approach it differently. You can also go on a walk with a trusted coworker or mentor and talk about it. Just be careful not to spread bad vibes (like your on shore boss might have done).

  3. Treat even the mean people with respect and help them. Often times the jerks are really smart and can lead your team to victory, even if everyone hates them. Try extra hard to be helpful. No need to suck up to them (see ingratiation techniques) because sucking up is very obvious to intelligent people and they will "ding your reputation" in their minds. Just sincerely try to do good for your team, take risks, and be a proactive team member.

  4. Read the 7 Habits book

Is it worth it to continue?

This is a very hard decision - you might consider using a decision tool, such as jdecision, to carefully think through it. It's natural to think the grass is greener on the other side, but often times it isn't. You might consider casually job hunting but only accept the other job if you're absolutely positive it's significantly better. I've done this on a couple occasions - sometimes it was great and sometimes it was a big fat mistake.

Good luck!

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    I felt like you really understood what I am going through. Thanks a lot. But maybe I indeed deserved to get this experience to know how not to be a bad boss. I have my own journal noting down stuff that I learn from these experiences, maybe I might have a hard time now but as you suggested (grass being greener on the other side), I am prepared to learn much out of this. And I am on to reading the 7 Habits book. Thank you again for your suggestions. Appreciate it. – kevin Jun 17 '18 at 9:27
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From my point of view, the only thing you can do is tell your offshore boss what's going on. I don't particularly think you need to just be able to do it by yourself. Maybe get hyped up for it.

Telling your offshore boss is essentially a high risk high reward move. If you tell your offshore boss and it doesn't work out then I can imagine that you'll lose at minimum a ton of standing and pull in the company. If you do tell your offshore boss successfully and it goes over well, then you're going to gain a ton since you'll be the new guy who actually informed management of a major problem that no one else communicated effectively up to this point.

I don't think keeping your mouth shut is an actual option in this situation. Just dealing with it might seem like an alright course of action, but from what you've described that's just going to suck the enjoyment out of your life. No job is worth that.

You have made this out to be a pretty big deal so I assume you can't do your job correctly with the way she manages.

  • Problem is she reports to multiple offshore bosses of different teams and I am not sure how me explaining to my offshore boss would make a change. – kevin Jun 15 '18 at 9:24

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