Depressed before even finding work [closed]

Question

I worked in an Indian auditing firm as article assistant. I had a decent exposure. I never doubted my abilities until I started working. I slowly learned that I lack analytical ability coupled with the fact that I kept making too many silly mistakes. Naturally I lost opportunities to work in better projects. As a result my self esteem took a hit.

I appeared for my final exams and failed pretty badly. I tried to work very hard but again failed with no improvement. I lost all my confidence. I find that I have become incredibly dull. I started searching for a job. But my attitude remains the same. I am finding it difficult to grasp any information as my mind is restless.

I just hope I am not alone. I wish someone will give a better perspective as to how to move on. I want to live a normal healthy life. Can anyone share some light?

Answer 1

This might not be the correct forum for this, but maybe my own story can help you a little:

I have found myself in a similar situation a couple of years ago and I must admit it was tough. Not only the fact that I was without a job and worrying about the future, but also that my entire self image was shattered. I had always put all my self esteem in my studies and work and when I didn't have that anymore, I felt worthless.

However, it will definitely get better. The most important factor for me was actually getting a new job and seeing that I was actually capable of accomplishing stuff there. The old job was not for me, too much freedom and too much responsibility. The new job had less freedom and more structure and that worked better for me.

Another factor that has helped a lot was to talk about it with (in my case) both my mother and a therapist. And finding ways to redefine the value of yourself in a way that was less reliant on performance and more on other aspects of life.

I still struggle with anxiety and doubting my self periodically, but I can also see the things I have actually accomplished since then and am actively working on focusing on the good rather than the bad, but it is as you probably now easier said than done.

TLDR: Don't let this failure define you, and don't get too afraid of failing again that you don't search out new opportunities. Try to see a new job opportunity as a possibility to redeem your self, rather than as a new job to fail at. These things is easy to say, but hard to do. Try to work on it with a therapist or a person you trust.

I wish you the best of luck in the future, and hope everything works out.