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I had a chat recently with my manager and he clearly has some pain-points, i.e. he is frustrated with something about me. During the recent meeting, he told me that I delayed one of the NN mio. projects while I was not a person-in-charge for the whole project and I was not a manager there. He doesn't have professional arguments but just blames. I have a frustration because of this and frustration cannot live inside me for a long time. I want to have a discussion with him and send a clear message that he should provide professional arguments and discuss them. I want to start a discussion by email and explain my position. In case if it is not going to work, I can take this email to his manager.

Currently, I need to help to organize a discussion with him. How would you write an email and discuss with him the pain he has? How would you approach a similar situation?

  • Could you explain whta your function was in this project and how he believes that you "delayed" the project. – Sascha Aug 18 '18 at 6:38
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    In summary, your manager blamed you and in retaliation you want to tell him off and warn him not to do it again and/or gather some evidence against him to attempt to get him in trouble with his manager.... do you also want to keep your job after all this? – Kilisi Aug 18 '18 at 6:45
  • Professionals don't argue, they discuss at all times. – user53651 Aug 20 '18 at 20:50
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"I was concerned that you thought I had delayed the project, and wanted to discuss where I had gone wrong and what I could do differently in future. When can we get together to talk about this?"

That's the first step. The second is to listen to what he says. By all means ask specific questions, but it sounds like you're already thinking of ways to get round your manager. This is not a good approach.

Most of all, don't present things defensively and point the finger at other people - your manager will (correctly) see this as deflection. The best outcome will be achieved by showing a genuine desire to know what you could have done differently.

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