I've worked in different environments and industries at different ages and seems that whenever there is too much gossip going on in the office I want to quit ASAP.
I qualify this sort of environment of toxic... and it seems to be more frequent than I thought. I got some jobs with, some jobs without... and regardless of how I perform... so I am wondering how can I become less sensitive to this sort of thing since I cannot really tell before starting a job whether it would involve gossip or not.
I have already tried to confront people but turns out that the outcomes are generally not that productive and usually end up with "you misinterpreted what I've said" or "you're paranoid, I've never said that" (ok I know, I am super naive... expecting people to confess directly to you that they are saying bad things about you... is not likely to work).
Well, the problem is when it's convenient for them to gossip about someone else (other than me and me being right besides in the conversation) I can tell you that it cannot be misinterpreted... I found this particularly immature, period. Usually I attempt to defend the target that people are gossiping about (yup I am empathetic), but it does not really work.
For a lot of people a job just means bringing food on the table... for some others it means to enjoy what you are doing 8 hours a day, and I belong to the latter. It gives me the feeling that I am acting like a princess... that I should be tougher and not that picky because things are not going my way. Still I think it's particularly childish to not be straightforward... I guess it's human nature but I have a hard time coping with that.
My wife, some of my former managers and some former colleagues with whom I could get along told me that I should not take gossip personally, that people at work may always at some point say things that are inappropriate, but still it hurts... I tried to leverage some techniques like in this book but still that feeling does not leave me.
Should I be that guy that every now and then jumps to another job only after staying a few months because he found out that there was too much gossip in the company? I don't really think it inspires much confidence...
tl;dr How can I become more resilient to gossip about me in a corporate setting?