I am in a very complicated situation: I was hired 2.5 years ago at this company for a job I was not trained for but I was sure I could do it. I was very upfront about it at the interview and I was still hired with the understanding that I will need a senior to coach me. However, the manager who hired me left the company before I even started.
4 months after I started, a new manager is hired. A year after I started the coach is finally hired as an external consultant working. This coach is supposed to work as a senior and coach myself and my colleague with the same job description.
Now this project is a software project. We use Scrum and we work Agile. (this manager is all for trending stuff, every month he has a new favorite word). The problem is our backlog is filling up faster than we can develop. In my opinion, it is not appreciated how much time things really take. The workload is certainly too much for one senior and 2 trainees (we are slower and need room for mistakes).
The senior is a fair man but quite strict. He expects the best. I am not doing too bad. I have learnt a lot and I really enjoy the work itself. However, my colleague, the other trainee, has had a burnout earlier this year. He is often so stressed he cannot focus. He has admitted to me many times that he does not like this work and it is too hard for him. But my colleague is afraid to tell this to the manager, because he might lose his job.
So I am in a team of 3 where the senior is demanding, always expecting better, one trainee that fails to deliver any work for months and myself, trying my very best, but handicapped by the mismanagement of the team. I have been filling in for my colleague during his burnout, but he never caught up again. He asks me for help all the time and I can spend hours explaining things only to have him ask it again the next day.
So long story short: My manager is under pressure to deliver the project. It is clear that we are not delivering fast enough. We have been very open about our issues. Yesterday he exploded during a standup meeting, accusing my colleague and I of letting the team down. Of not contributing and not caring about it.
In a way I am happy it happened because my colleague has finally admitted this job is not his thing. However I feel completely wronged by the outbursts. My relationships in the workplace and outside work has taken damage because of working after working hours to catch up. My health has declined because of stress.
I feel that I have to do something, stand up for myself. I feel that is due to the management’s apathy to the situation that it has dragged on this long. However the public outburst has soured the relationships at work even further and if I make a statement, it will certainly be labeled as “being difficult” and “defensiveness”.