Defamation of character

Question

I have been a victim of workplace bullying for over 4 years. My supervisor goes to people and tells them I am rude and anti-social. He did this to me on my 2nd week of starting and told me a colleague who is now one of my best mates in the company was a "bad communicator". I myself think this is ridiculous and my friends and family do too.

Because he has been with the company for 20+ years and is charming and well liked, he is believed and he has destroyed my reputation through lies.

What I want to know is, can I use my other non-verbal interactions with colleagues (i.e. skype messages and email) to show I am not this monster they think I am? I mean when I approach someone face to face I always say hi or hello and talk to them with respect.

Background:

I work for an automotive company (a major one) and I'm a development technician. It all started when I overheard him and another one of the bullies slagging me off calling me a fat c**t and from what it sounded like they were in cahoots to get me fired. I reported this to mine and his supervisor at the time which basically said he didn't believe me and that he wouldnt say something like that (I have it on recording). From here on I was systematically mobbed, I had snot wiped on my paperwork, dead flies put in my coffee cup, constant stares and laughing & criticised for the smallest things.

So I'm basically known as a troublemaker for standing up for myself. My union rep told me I was being mobbed which I looked up and according to the 5 stages I'm at stage 4 very close to stage 5. I have many recordings of peoples lies and bulls**t for my own sanity.

Why I have let this go on for 4 years is (1) I enjoy the job (2) It pays well and (3) I don't give in to bullies. I have a recording of the main bully saying I am doing a good job and deserve promotion in April 2019 and behind my back he says I'm incompetent, stupid and shouldnt be here.

Answer 1

I had snot wiped on my paperwork, dead flies put in my coffee cup, constant stares and laughing & criticised for the smallest things.

What you are describing is not simple bullying, it is harassment. If you have already contacted HR and your union without resolution, you need to talk to a lawyer.

I am not a lawyer, but here is my advice. Please take it with a grain of salt and look up the laws in your area.

1. Compile evidence of abuse. If you are in the US, check if your state allows one sided audio recordings. Take pictures of the flies and similar abuses. Keep the papers that have biological attacks.
2. CYA. Print emails of every interaction with HR, your supervisor, and your union.
3. Talk to a lawyer. If you are in a country with labor laws, this kind of harassment is almost certainly covered.

As always, be careful. If your coworkers are this aggressive there is no telling what they are willing to do. I would avoid confronting the coworkers directly at all cost.

[Edit]

I realized that I never answered your actual question. Per SE's spirit, here is my answer to your original question of how to improve your reputation:

Keep being friendly. Greet people, ask about their weekends, and express interest in their hobbies. For the work side of things, try practicing open body language and sitting in a centralized location in meetings. Even if you are not ready to be active in the meeting, appearances go a long way. The book, "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie is a popular guide on human interactions.

In general, the best way to change people's perception of you is by showing them. My favorite way to "show" people that I am friendly is by bringing in food every couple weeks (bonus points if you baked it!). Try to remember people's favorites and bring that in next time.

Through all this, please take my original advice and talk to a lawyer. This is deeply troubling behavior by your colleagues and it should not be dismissed.

Answer 2

I'm in a similar situation and I admire you for sticking around for 4 years. I would never manage.

At the same time, what you describe as the advantages of your job are things you can find elsewhere. You can find a good-paying interesting job with people who aren't horrible.

I opened a similar thread on another forum some time ago and I remember one reply very well. The person wrote: "Bullying is an interesting phenomenon. The bully and the bullied can't live without each other although they claim to hate each other".

I think there's a lot of truth in it.

• You can leave your position. If your current job is well-paying you have probably accumulated a bit of money to sustain you even if you quit cold-turkey, without having found another job.
• You seem to have work experience - at least 4 years, which is quite a bit. This makes your job search much easier
• You stayed at your current job for 4 years, so nobody will call you a job-hopper what wanting a change.

Instead, you are thinking about how you could convince your coworkers you're not a monster.

The answer is: you don't. You apply like crazy and leave this toxic culture.

You don't try to repair things which can't be repaired.

There's really only this one solution to your problem unless you enjoy being victimized.

Choosing to leave an abusive relationship is not "giving in". Would you advise a friend who is being abused by his/her boyfriend/girlfriend to stay in a relationship because getting out means giving in?

Answer 3

Its time for a Change

New Job, new colleagues

I think in this case it extremely important to know your location.

Given US or Canada laws, very likely you have a legal recourse with place of work and or coworkers. No matter how strong and unaffected by it you are, it is in human nature to be affected by bullying, especially for a long time.

Wouldn`t wait until it gets to a shotgun visit to the workplace stage