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I received two offers from two big software companies A and B. Although both companies are overall good, I like the projects & group at company A and therefore I have accepted their offer. I am going to join company A in a couple of months.

However, I would like to visit a foreign country during the end of this year. I would like to take a 2 week vacation for this. I need to apply for a Visa soon for that country. I would like to discuss my travel plans with my future company as I need 2 weeks of vacation time and also need to start sending several documents soon for applying Visas to the respective embassy. When I talked about this with the HR of the company A, she gave details of my future manager and advised me to talk with her.

Therefore, I have sent an e-mail to my future manager requested an appointment to discuss this on phone. Moreover, I have explained my travel plans in the e-mail. She replied me that she will call me on a particular day and at a particular time, but she didn't comment on my travel plans in the e-mail. However, I didn't receive a call on that day. I have waited for a couple hours on the day and reminded her (e-mail) about the meeting. She sent a "sorry" e-mail and provided another appointment on some other day to discuss this on Phone. Again I didn't get a call from her on the revised date. I have waited for a couple of days but no response from her. Somehow I feel that she do not give importance to her team members at least for future members. I am afraid about my future working with her at company A. Therefore, I would like to reconsider the offer from company A and thinking about joining company B.

How best can I communicate my situation effectively to my soon-to-be manager? Is this a sign that I'm joining a company that won't treat me well as an employee?

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    This appears to be the sort of "What should I do" question that is off-topic in the FAQ so I'm voting to close. If you want to rework the question so we're helping you solve a problem rather than trying to weigh your options, that would seem to be more on topic – Justin Cave Jun 2 '13 at 15:57
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    I would say that if you're having "accepter's remorse," you should probably move on. The manager is unlikely to become suddenly more responsive once you're on payroll (and can't leave within a year unless you want to look like a job-hopper). If a project fails because the manager isn't detail-oriented, this is unlikely to benefit your career. – Amy Blankenship Jun 2 '13 at 17:15
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    @AmyBlankenship, it's a little high handed to assess the manager's responsiveness to business issues on this one interaction alone. It may have been hell-week for that manager and there simply wasn't time. We all know how priorities and deadlines kick us about the workplace during peak periods. OP should be able to address the delays in a response, point-blank with the manager. – kolossus Jun 2 '13 at 18:14
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    What should i do/please make a judgement for me is not on topic or constructive. We can address the hows... but we should not be addressing the shoulds. – IDrinkandIKnowThings Jun 3 '13 at 3:11
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    @kolossus I think that first impressions are incredibly important, and any manager worth his/her salt would realize the importance of making a good impression on a new employee who will join their team. "Too busy" for managing employees is a horrible excuse -- managing your employees is what you should be busy focusing on. Personally I'd ask company B if the offer was still open, check the contract for company A to see what consequences (if any) there are for breaking it, and then ask company A for a different position/manager, or go to company B. – jmac Jun 4 '13 at 1:19
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While it may be a little unnerving to be put on the back burner for so long, I won't recommend you base your decision on the offer on this one incident.

  • Has the manager, before now, given you any reason to doubt his responsiveness? If there have been prior red flags, then there may be a more serious issue here. The problem may be as simple as it looks: He's extremely busy. This is probably a critical time for the manager. Some companies have their fiscal years cut from July - June and this puts extra pressure on mid-senior level management to get a bunch of paperwork done. Performance reviews and budget expenditure reports will be whizzing past many people at this time. While it's not necessarily an excuse, I'm sure you'd want to be cut some slack yourself in a similar situation

  • How did you present the request for a meeting? Depending on how urgent/or important you've made your request sound, the manager may simply have categorized your meeting as a lower-level priority. Maybe he feels that it's a meeting you could still live with shortly before you join his unit. Without phrasing it as a life-or-death situation, you could structure your request in such a way that it's easier for it to float to the top of the manager's to-do list.

  • Phone over Email: You'll find it may be more convenient and less time consuming to simply shoot the manager an email, stating exactly what your situation is and what you're requesting. The manager replies your email with a Yes/No and everyone moves on. It really doesn't have to translate into a lengthy phone conversation (something the manager might just not have the time for). An email, I've found, is easier to quickly reply to.

I'd recommend you contact the manager again via email and address your concerns squarely (with a little more detail/finesse of course):

  • You need time off
  • You need his consent
  • His decision may affect your availability to start the gig
  • Time is of the essence
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    +1 for "just try handling it over e-mail." People get slammed and even if your manager is a little dizzy, I don't know that I'd gamble on the other manager being awesome when I knew the work wouldn't be as interesting. But seriously why can't people get more done via e-mail? I've never understood this. – Erik Reppen Jul 19 '13 at 22:40
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If I were you, I'd move on.

But I am not going to be just out of school and can afford to not care about joining a certain company with certain projects and certain groups, which does not seem to be the case with you.

Not keeping an appointment is just not acceptable. There can be almost no justifiable reason when the manager, in the span of a week, couldn't keep you posted about the appointment. If he wanted it moved for whatever reason, it is basic courtesy to let the other person know. Even more so since you are not on his calendar as you are not an employee yet.

Although the behavior of this manager may give a peek about the culture of the Company A as a whole, you also need to keep in mind the long term perspective. You say its a big firm, so you will most likely report to many other managers in your lifetime at Company A. Most probably, he ins't going to be your manager forever.

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