Is it alright to invite subordinate co-workers over to a holiday dinner?

Question

I'm considering inviting a few of my coworkers to an annual Friendsgiving event that my wife and I host for several of our friends this year. This is not a small affair, we host something on the order of 30+ people with this event and mostly consists of people coming and going.

While I am part of my company's management, I am not in charge of these coworkers' in any manner other than I ask them to perform work on some of my projects and they do it for me. I've no authority to promote them nor discipline them, although, were one to do unsatisfactory work for me and I couldn't get the matter resolved between myself and them, my next step would have to be their manager.

Is this appropriate or does it create an HR issue?

Answer 1

While there is nothing wrong with it, the dynamics would seem inadvisable to me.

You have no idea whether the two groups will mix well, so you may end up with 'friends' group and 'colleagues' group and some discomfort. Plus they may feel pressured into accepting.

It's much more normal as a superior to host something in the workplace, not your home, and it's generally advisable to keep the two separate. If it was immediate colleagues it would have a different dynamic, but even then I'd advise against taking work home in that manner. Unless it was an event purely for them.

Answer 2

Ask yourself these questions:

• What do you expect your relationship to be with these co-workers the next Monday? Do you want to grow a non-work relationship with them, "as friends"? Do you expect that nothing will change?

• Do you think they might consider you a "friend" or someone they can confide in and trust within the company? If they did, how would that affect the workplace dynamic?

• How many other people within the company did you invite? How many have attended in the past? Did you invite your boss? What about other people on your team?

If you're just singling a few people out and assuming nothing about your workplace relationship will change, that seems kind of naive. But if it's truly a holiday party, and you invited other co-workers, like your boss, then it's probably OK.

Answer 3

Yes, of course, this is traditional and accepted in many companies in many countries. In some places and times it's even kind of expected for managers to be inviting people to events at their home. Insert infinite caveats about HR-appropriate behavior and booze and being rapey and whatever that are required in our current climate, but in general it is fine and good to have subordinates to your place for events or even - horrors - mix with them in non-completely-employee company.

For example, my step-mother runs a large therapy practice and every year they have some kind of holiday gathering where they invite all the employees and their guests along.

But as with everything, you need to take the temperature of the place you are. Every small business in the US does this pretty much without exception if the boss wants to. In some large enterprises you'd have drama and "WHAT ABOUT THE HR" concerning it. Ask other managers/see what they do in your locale/company to determine what is culturally appropriate.

Answer 4

Were it me, I wouldn't do it. Nice thought, "thank you very much" and all-of-that, but I still wouldn't do it.

Let your holiday gathering be what it now is – a gathering of your friends. If "the boss," or even "a boss," "invites" you, some people might interpret that to be "a command performance."

Answer 5

IMHO, you should invite everyone not just specific underlings. Otherwise it looks strange

Note: Comments are welcome, especially with down-vote

Answer 6

I'll go ahead and put in the "No, certainly not" reasoning. Someone has to, right?!

Here:

1. Thanksgiving is (by far) the biggest travel day in the USA.

Most worker-level employees would find it annoying (if not frankly bizarre) to have a work-event scheduled in the Thanksgiving "season".

In the bulk of the country it is a family oriented weekend. Even in the few very progressive parts of the country, it would still be a strange time to schedule some sort of work event, as, it is the "time everyone schedules some sort of party".

2. ... and they would indeed just think of it as a "work event". You're one of the "bosses". You know how people think about "bosses". That's you. (Sad but true right?!)

What you think of as a cheery invitation, helping out the lower classes as it were, being a modern equitable friend to everyone - they are just rolling their eyes and saying Mr. Smith wants us over at his house, what next. (!)

3. Based on your description of this happening party (I want an invite!), I get a particular vibe of how the party is going to be. You're a social group and know how to throw a party. My "party nose" tells me this is just not the type of party you invite "some juniors from work" to; they'll just feel out of it.

4. (On a roll now!) You explain these are not "your" staff. They're someone else's. (You have them on projects occasionally.) To me that I'm afraid just seems wrong. Their bosses will be p'd off that you're oddly inviting their guys around to your swinging joint. Why would you do this? For what reason?

5. Officers wanting to fraternize with enlisted ... is it ever a good idea? They bluntly just don't like you. You're the boss, or a boss. All they want you to do is keep the coming rolling in money, so they can collect a paycheck, and go home to the bar/family of their choice.

6. On top of all that, they will feel obligated to say yes. What do you think when someone from the board casually asks you to come to their Hamptons house on the Saturday? Same.

7. As user70848 points out, there's the bizarre aspect of inviting a handpicked few, and also not your boss. It's .. not coherent, you know?

For me it's a No!