I've been at my job for 2 1/2 years now. We have a small team (5 people), that all works remotely. The co-worker in question started about a year before me.
This co-worker is consistently rude and demeaning. I've had two other people (one of whom has left) independently describe similar conflicts with this person unprompted by me.
At this point, I'm highly sensitized to the situation. For example, today, we had 1:1 interviews scheduled with a new job candidate. The interviews were all taking place via a common video conference "room". We were instructed to coordinate hand-off of the candidate, so as not to disrupt each other. At precisely my scheduled time, I messaged my coworker to ask to let me know when I could join the call. The first response was to ask "what interview". Baffled at how this person could not know what I was talking about, and concerned the candidate had been left hanging, I forwarded the meeting invitation right away.
The response in chat was to quote the schedule, followed by this response:
already met him earlier
so it's just you and started 3 mins ago
In a more agreeable working relationship, this would have been fine. The level of anger it invoked in me tells me I need to do something about this.
My perception from having tried to address this in that past is that things will only escalate if I try to talk to this person directly. Our current manager has indicated they are aware there's a problem. They haven't indicated what's being done to solve it, and I don't believe it's appropriate to tell me. However, I'm not seeing any change.
This is the sort of situation I'd like to be able to take in to a job interview and say I was able to manage, but I'm at a loss. I've been warned that this person has complained to HR in the past, and given the recommendation that I should do so first. (Obviously, having put up with this for 2 1/2 years, I haven't followed this advice.)
The basic question is, should I continue to try to handle this, or just go to HR? Add on parts: What suggestions are there besides going to HR? If I do go to HR, how should I pose the complaint?