A few months ago, we hired a new temporary worker, Joe. Joe does not have a car so I offered to share the ride with him 4 times per day, which is about 45 km daily. I asked for 4€/day. Joe's salary was 28% higher than mine.

Joe then negotiated a new salary which is now 39% higher than mine. And I now feel like a driver.

Joe doesn't have a driver's license or a car. He said that he had no utility for a car nor time to learn.

To address some questions in the comments:

Q: 4 times a day?
A: home->work->lunch->work->home

Q: Do you want to stop carpooling under those conditions?
A: Yes, I want to stop.

Q: For how much money would you be willing to continue driving? €10? €50? €1000?
A:No. At Joe's pay grade most people can afford a big house, a good car. In fact the sympathy carpool stop around my paygrade."

Q:Jealousy, envy?
A: No, it's simply a mental switch. You carpooled a temp worker, 6 months later you discover it's a Rockefeller. Cool cool, so the driver is not needed.

Q: Consider carpooling for ecology.
A: This one fell too far from the question.

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    Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been moved to chat.
    – user44108
    Nov 29, 2018 at 6:55
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    @xdtTransform, I'm afraid I do not quite understand what you mean. What I'm asking is : do you want to stop carpooling, or do you want to stop carpooling under those conditions ?
    – breversa
    Nov 29, 2018 at 11:06
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    4 times a day? I don't understand. Home to work in the morning and work to home in the afternoon - do you go home for lunch or something?
    – d-b
    Nov 30, 2018 at 0:05
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    You say since the pay rise you feel like a driver. Actually you are the driver but that isn't bad by default. Why / how does this pay rise affect your attitude towards driving him?
    – puck
    Nov 30, 2018 at 5:36
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    Have you sat and thought about your indifference point -- the amount of money at which you could flip a coin to decide between the two choices "drive Joe and receive X€" and "do not drive Joe and do not receive X€", and be equally happy with both outcomes? Clearly it's more than 4€, but what is it? 10€? 50€? 1000€? (Probably less than that, huh?!) Knowing what you want is an important first step in any negotiation. Dec 1, 2018 at 18:25

12 Answers 12


Joe doesn't have a driving license nor a car. He had said that he had no utility for a car nor time to learn

He does have utility now. He found a job that is more than 20Km from his house. He found somebody to drive him that charges far less than the cost of public transportation.

The idea of car pooling is to share the costs of commuting. In many cases people take turns driving, so that the gas usage is similar as is the impact of wear and tear on their cars. In cases where shared duties isn't possible the non-driver should be expected to pay more than a token amount.

You mentioned that you drive him 4 times a day, then you mention in a comment about getting something to eat. If you are driving for food because of your coworker, that is the easiest one to stop. If you don't need to go out, you aren't obligated to drive them.

As to the morning and evening commute, don't mention his salary. It shouldn't make a difference. Tell them that as a permanent employee now is the time to adjust the arrangement if the driving is to be a long term activity. Then discuss how a fair price should be determined: actual costs, saved money, compensation for schedule adjustments.

  • 74
    Agreed. Your costs don't increase because he makes more money. If 4€/day covers you're extra costs you get a fair compensation. You could tell him that you no longer want to carpool, but that'll leave you with 80eu a month less (assuming 4 weeks of 5 days)
    – Martijn
    Nov 28, 2018 at 16:05
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    More like 11km away from home, surely?
    – Tim
    Nov 28, 2018 at 16:17
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    I guess the actual question is "How to tell ...". I've provided the language needed in an answer.
    – Fattie
    Nov 29, 2018 at 6:58
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    @Martijn From a business perspective, while the costs presumably haven't changed, the ride is now more valuable to Joe. OP is now providing a more valuable service. Also, since they're both getting the use of the car, and OP is providing extra services by driving and maintaining the car, splitting the cost as opposed to just "extra expenses" seems fair. Nov 29, 2018 at 22:09
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    @DavidThornley Do people not car pool for the environmental/social benefits?
    – thosphor
    Nov 30, 2018 at 9:24

How to tell a colleague that I want to stop sharing the ride?

Provide notice

Allow for a transition period, ending your car sharing.
Starting, for example, Friday two weeks from now.

Simple state your goal

"I want to stop the ride sharing, soon."

Avoid negotiation

Given your situation, there is little for you to gain.

Avoid salary discussions

It is not part of how to end the car sharing. It may be part of your "why", but it should not be a part of how you end it.

Do not change any existing sharing costs

Just say its time to stop and provide a grace period to allow your rider some time to adjust.

Remember this is also a business relationship. Someday, you may find professional value with this temp's contacts. No need to burn a bridge, just stop paying the toll.

  • 54
    The point of a grace period seems to be missed on many of the other answers..
    – Rozwel
    Nov 28, 2018 at 20:04
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    @Fattie taht really depends on the circumstances. If there is no reasonable public transportation available then two days for his coworker to finance and buy a new car is a really short time. I think 2 Weeks is not unreasonable.
    – Falco
    Nov 29, 2018 at 13:31
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    @Tom it's not OP's job to drive his coworker for the next 6 months while he learns how to drive and gets his license. I think 2 weeks is more than reasonable.
    – JeffC
    Nov 29, 2018 at 17:29
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    @Tom No, you said "The other person doesn't know how to drive" to which I responded that it's not OP's job to carry him while he does learn how to drive. From what I can gather, OP's co-worker doesn't know how to drive/doesn't have a driver's license. I'm assuming that's all not going to get rectified in 2 weeks... more like 6 months... which is why I stated such. What am I missing?
    – JeffC
    Nov 29, 2018 at 18:11
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    2 weeks? It's not a new job or a new house. I would assume Joe has a backup plan in case the OP falls ill. So a couple days should be more than enough.
    – IMil
    Nov 29, 2018 at 23:39

Just tell him you do not want to share a ride anymore. Do not mention the salary gap. If he asks for a reason, say that you do not feel like it. If he is rude and pushes the subject, say that you want the freedom and to be alone in your car.

You are certainly free to do this whenever you want. You can, but do not have to, offer to continue the arrangement until the end of the week so your coworker have time to research other ways to get to work.

As for your daily fee, I think it sounds fair (maybe a bit low). Joe should at a minimum pay half of the real costs associated with the drive, including fuel, insurance and depreciation.

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    @Tim - if the guy had his own car, that would just be another part of the costs he would have to shoulder. Since he doesn't have his own, why should anyone else have to pay for that. It's part of motoring's cost, just like insurance, fuel, maintenance, etc. And the guy would appear to have his own chauffeur, thrown in free.
    – Tim
    Nov 28, 2018 at 16:27
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    @Tim - the more people you have in a car, the more wear it takes. Spills, wearing out upholstery, working the door lateches - everything adds up. You take someone's daily driver, put a new driver's seat in it, maybe a nice steering wheel cover, and replace the driver's door latch mechanism, and it's practically new (When I was young and poor I did this a couple times). Someone's "bus" was significantly more work to bring back to good condition. Thus its value was much lower. Nov 28, 2018 at 16:27
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    @WesleyLong - which Tim are you aiming the comment at?! This is where Stack Exchange needs to clear up names!
    – Tim
    Nov 28, 2018 at 16:29
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    Joe does add to the depreciation. Maybe the carpet and seat on the passenger side would be pristine if Joe didn't occupy it so often... And I bet he never cleans the dirt from that side!
    – Tim
    Nov 28, 2018 at 16:32
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    The value of a car is partly defined by number of miles it has been driven. Depreciation is therefore tied to number of miles. It is also fair to say that if Joe owned a car himself he would have to pay for depreciation. Going to extremes it would even be fair to ask for as much as Joe is prepared to pay, regardless of your own costs (this is how we set prices in the rest of society after all). Nov 28, 2018 at 17:25

If it's your car you can just tell him he'll need to organise his own transport. No explanation is needed.

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    Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been moved to chat.
    – user44108
    Nov 29, 2018 at 6:54

Don't go any extra mile for him, but let him ride

If I get your question correctly, the problem is that you feel like a personal driver. In a comment you say that the way is 90% shared.

I suggest you stop picking up your colleague at his place and instead pick him up at a bus stop that is on your way to work anyway. Do not adjust your schedule for him. You drive when you need to wake up/ leave the company, not when he has to.

Obviously, you should make these changes with reasonably warning period that he can adjust to them (See the other answers).

This way you probably will no longer feel like his driver but like an equal colleague who does a friend a favour.


Consider this from his perspective.

  • He's temporary.
  • He has no driver's license, so this means that he is a first time driver. As a first time driver, his insurance rates will be higher and he would require more coverage unless he has the income to purchase a car outright, depending on where you both live. Presumably, it also means that he has less credit unless he's built his credit up via other means.
  • Regardless of his salary, he presumably would feel that he only owes the minimum to cover the cost of gasoline and wear and tear. If he was the CEO of your company, I would still say that covering the minimum is fair enough.

It makes no sense, financially, for a temporary worker to get a car simply for the purpose of temporary work. Suddenly he's going to add a heavy burden to his monthly expenses for temporary work where after that work is done, he'll still have to bear those costs and he'll be less mobile in his decision making processes. It may be that he was aggressive for his salary because his work is temporary, and he's making sure his financial status isn't compromised.

Perhaps you can consider this before you stop sharing your ride.

That being said, since you mentioned getting food, I would suggest stopping that. It's nice enough to bring him to work. You're not obligated to take people out for lunch every day. Of course, you're also not obligated to take someone to work, either.

To answer your original question, you can arrange someone else to carpool with him, or you can continue to ride with him and give him some time to adjust. Depending on the duration of the drive, perhaps Uber or public transportation would be okay, and your employer could also possibly give him a voucher for those, which is a separate conversation.

  • 32
    You can consider this from his perspective and still be pragmatic: he has no car and yet he accepted a job (was it temporary) 25km away from him, without knowing he will have a carpool alternative. Somehow this guy must have accepted the initial travel conditions, whatever they were...
    – Laurent S.
    Nov 28, 2018 at 16:48
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    You are implying an obligation to drive him to work. There isn't. The driver is not a professional driver, he's a co-worker. As a co-worker, he does not bear any of the burden of getting this co-worker or any other co-worker to work.
    – Mohair
    Nov 28, 2018 at 17:11
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    @LaurentS. The post doesn't specify. This offer could have been made during the interview process. That is quite common. OP can expand on that if needed. Nov 28, 2018 at 17:11
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    @Mohair No, I did not imply that. Nov 28, 2018 at 17:12
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    @TheAnathema Sorry if I misinterpreted. For what it's worth, "it makes no sense, financially, for a temporary worker to get a car simply for the purpose of temporary work. Suddenly he's going to add a heavy burden to his monthly expenses for temporary work where after that work is done, he'll still have to bear those costs and he'll be less mobile in his decision making processes." followed by "Perhaps you can consider this before you stop sharing your ride." reads to me as the cost of buying a car being an argument against ending the carpool. Nov 29, 2018 at 18:15

Firstly, it is your car and your time. If you don't want the other person to ride with you, you can do what @Kilisi suggests.

Secondly, consider being a little just and honorable and rise above this petty thinking. Instead of denying the ride to another person because he now earns more, you should try to learn good negotiation from him.

I must emphasize, I'm not telling you to become his driver. Only telling you to not act small.

The problem is not what he is/was earning. The problem is in your way of thinking.

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    I don't get this. The riding guy is now making (even more!) money so there is no reason at all someone who is struggling along on a much lower salary should be helping out. Second, our OP has explicitly stated it makes OP "feel like a driver". (OP means a servant.) That's HORRIBLE. Who, the heck, would bum a ride every day with someone if it's making the person feel like a servant. Thirdly the rider is basically Rude - "has no utility for a car nor time to learn". (!) What a bizarre/rude thing to say. I don't see the OP is acting small, the OP is just being walked over by a rude person.
    – Fattie
    Nov 29, 2018 at 12:11
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    @Fattie: [1/2] What did the other person exactly do to make OP feel horrible? Negotiated his own salary? If another person's salary is going to make you feel horrible then you are bound to feel horrible for the rest of your life. There will always be someone who will make more than you. Why doesn't OP instead go to his manager and ask for a salary that he think he deserves? Nov 29, 2018 at 14:44
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    @Fattie: [2/2] Further, if the OP feels bad that his fellow rider thinks that he can use OP as a driver, then he can tell him to learn driving so that they both can cooperate and be helpful to each other. IMO that is more mature response. Nov 29, 2018 at 14:44
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    @Fattie between this and your own answer, you seem think OP has told their coworker they want to stop and the coworker is pushing back. Why do you think that? From my perspective, the coworker has no reason to believe that OP is unhappy with their arrangement. Why do you think the coworker knows OP feels like a servant? Why is the coworkers salary relevant to any of this? From my perspective, OP and the coworker arranged something amenable to both, and now OP wants to stop. Why does that mean that the coworker is somehow in the wrong here? Nov 29, 2018 at 19:14
  • There seems to be vast confusion on this QA. The OP has completely decided all of this, and simply wants to know what language to use to politely end the arrangement: How to tell a colleague that I want to stop sharing the ride? (Note the question title.) I have never, ever seen a QA on here with so much confusion. The highly voted currently top answer (100+ votes!) has absolutely no relationship to the question. Amazing!
    – Fattie
    Dec 3, 2018 at 3:49

I hope you realize that getting out of the current carpool situation will lose you money (4 euro/day).

You mentioned that you feel humiliated (like a driver) with the current situation. So, if you absolutely cannot set aside your ego for this money, then absolutely get of this carpool.

How? You rather make Joe get out of the carpool. Just like he renegotiated his work contract, you renegotiate this carpool deal but demand more than any reasonable person would agree to pay.

Hey Joe, starting from next month, you will have to pay me thrice the current amount.

If he asks for a reason,

I had to do car maintenance & I forgot to factor that in our original deal of 4 euro/day.

If Joe's agrees, then congrats, you renegotiated a better deal for you. That will cheer your ego a bit.

If Joe goes defensive & tries to negotiate a better deal for him saying

Look, I can only pay 6 euro. Anything more is out of my budget.

You should stand your ground & say

That is not OK with me. If I agree to anything less, it would feel like I am doing you a favor & that might cause resentment in me later on & spoil our professional & personal relationship. I would rather have 0 euro & a healthy relationship with you. Thanks but No.

  • 1
    Why should he pay thrice the current amount? Unless "Joe" uses the car with the OP outside work, I don't see how that is a just approach. Your answer, like most here seem to make "joe" out as a bad person...all because he negotiated a pay rise. Dec 2, 2018 at 6:21
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    This is a terrific answer which actually attempts to answer the question.
    – Fattie
    Dec 3, 2018 at 3:47

Step 1 - Try to remove the emotion from the discussion.

Look at it from the other person's point of view before proceeding. They needed a ride, they talked to a friendly-looking coworker and he agreed to do it for 4€/day. OK, fair enough! So you ride with him, talk to him, tell him about your new raise and other personal information. You go to lunch together every day for months. You consider him a work friend.

But then apparently the other person nurses resentment in his heart, without telling you, and due to his envy over your 9% raise, freaks out and terminates the arrangement without notice.

Do you really want to be that guy? It'd be one thing if this person had done anything at all improper or rude, but he's not really responsible for the emotional issues you've developed on the side.

Also keep in mind how this looks in a professional environment. This can be interpreted as envy and spite, and that would concern others working with you at work. In every workplace "job roles" and whatnot are only 50% of the story, everyone either goes a little extra to help each other and collaborate and such or they don't. If someone else's team gets a little more budget, are you going to refuse to work on things they ask of you? You put those thoughts into their minds if you handle this carelessly.

Step 2 - Decide what you want.

Do you just want to stop this arrangement under any circumstances? Or do you want to renegotiate? If you want to renegotiate, what conditions are you willing to accept? If he was paying 4€/day previously, what do you think is fair now?

Proportionately, if he went from 28% higher salary to 39% higher salary, then math says it's 4.34€. But I suspect that's not really what you want.

I get it. I wouldn't give someone a ride every day for any amount of money, I'd find it too constraining on my schedule. But everyone's different. Do you just want to stop, period, whether he was offering 4 or 5 or 10 euro? Do you want it to be 4 days a week instead of 5? What, exactly do you want?

Consider what else you're getting out of this. A work friend and ally? Company on the drive? Heck, you could apparently learn from him how to negotiate a higher salary...

Step 3 - How to negotiate professionally.

If you want to negotiate the terms, you just say "Hey man! I've enjoyed our rides together, but I really didn't anticipate the impact on me. I can't come and go as I want, I'm going out to eat when I wouldn't sometimes... Is there any way we could change our agreement a little?" Then discuss whether more money, or only doing it 4x/week, or for only 3 more months, or whatever it is you want. Under no circumstances mention his salary, it would reflect poorly on you.

Make sure it is something you can live with, as going back to re-re-negotiate in a short period of time would come across as grasping.

Step 4 - How to bow out gracefully.

If you decide you just absolutely don't want to do it, or you can't come to an agreement on a change, you just say something similar. "Well, I've been happy to help you out for the last couple months, but I really want to start just driving by myself. Can we say next Friday will be our last drive together? No hard feelings. Let's keep meeting up for lunch!" or similar. Be open to doing it up to 2 weeks as a considerate gesture.

The friendliness and grace period means there will be very little chance of resentment or work fallout unless he's a colossal ass, and you say he's a nice guy.

You can come out of this as "the nice guy who helped me get to work for the first couple months and is now a work friend" and not "the unreliable jerk" to him (and others in the office) if you handle this with thoughtfulness. The Internet Tough Guys are happy to advise you to just tell the guy off and leave him on the side of the road, but I imagine you do care how you're perceived afterwards.

  • 1
    "If you decide you just absolutely don't want to do it" ?? the OP has completely decided that and simply wants to know what language to use to politely: How to tell a colleague that I want to stop sharing the ride? (Note the question title.)
    – Fattie
    Dec 3, 2018 at 3:45
  • Which is why I cover how to do that exact thing politely, but I felt it was also worth covering other steps leading up to that since his clarity around all this in the question is somewhat lacking and, in my opinion, he might benefit from a non-binary framework to use to work through similar issues in the future.
    – mxyzplk
    Dec 3, 2018 at 3:52

It looks like you feel into the "Too nice" trap, and it's very difficult to get out of it. Let me explain you how I avoided such situations:

  • When I was studying, one of my fellow students (who had a room next to mine) decided one year he would not buy a bicycle: if he needed one, he would just borrow from some other person in the block. So one day he came to me and asked to borrow my bicycle, to which I answered "No! If you want to use a bicycle, you need to buy one yourself!". The guy started shouting and slammed the door, but the next time I saw him again he was very gentle and the next week he had bought his bicyle.
  • When I was working already, I proposed a colleague to carpool, but this meant that he needed to get to a common meeting point, where I could pick him up. He refused, but proposed me to drive seven kilometer further and pick him up. I refused. (I thought by myself: if you think I'll drive a total of fourteen kilometers, just for your pleasure, you can forget about it).

You see: you seem to be a good person (having proposed your colleague to drive him around), but some people are indeed extremely rude and take everything for granted. The only way to stop being treated like that, is by telling that you don't want to drive him anymore. You can say something like "I don't feel well anymore driving you, and starting from tomorrow I won't be doing that anymore.". At that moment, from his reaction, you'll see what kind of a person you're dealing with: he can be friendly and understand your point (after all, it's your car and you do with it whatever your want, and besides that, what if you hadn't proposed this in the first place? How would he have managed then?). He can also be rude towards you, on which point you say nothing at all: you just drive him to work and at lunch break, you simply refuse him to enter your car.

Good luck

  • -1 for a "too nice" person, just turning 100% and being "hard as nails" is like asking an introvert to become an extrovert. It's just not going to happen; and if it is, it will cause OP a huge spike of stress. The end result you are suggesting is surely alright, but there are other ways to reach that.
    – AnoE
    Nov 30, 2018 at 11:05
  • @AnoE: that's exactly my point: I'm proposing xdtTransform to stand up for himself: the idea that he might be an introvert person does not relief him from that.
    – Dominique
    Nov 30, 2018 at 12:43
  • It's not even sure that he's an introvert; but as he says himself, he (so far) simply cannot say "no". I think it's a more valid strategy for him to learn to say "no" without conflicting with his internal (too-helpful) value system. E.g., a "point by point" plan like given in some of the other answers, with increasing severity...
    – AnoE
    Nov 30, 2018 at 14:23
  • @Dominique , while this is all true, the OP has completely decided all of this, and simply wants to know what language to use to politely: How to tell a colleague that I want to stop sharing the ride? (Note the question title.)
    – Fattie
    Dec 3, 2018 at 3:46

It seems like you have a lot of answers and although they have merit they seem like they could make things unfriendly at work or even possibly hurt your career.

  • You were helping a new coworker out.
  • You don't want to do this anymore.
  • You don't want to make coworker mad as he seems to have decent clout at company
  • You don't want to piss off other coworkers who might think of you as vindictive for stopping the help because he got a promotion.

So how do you get out of being his chaufeur (it's not carpooling if you are doing everything) and keep your standing with this coworker and others at your work. I am assuming if you act like an ass to the coworker he will gossip - this seems like a logical way a person would act when they are too lazy to even attempt at making their own transportation.

So my advice... lie... fib.

You need an excuse to get out of this. No way you should mention salary increase or promotion - don't even kind of hint at it.

You need to be somewhere in the morning or right after work, at least two days a week and rather soon - maybe in 2-3 weeks. I will give you an example but you can tailor this more to meet your personality and lifestyle and bonus if your friend does not like the things you choose.

"Hey Joe, I am starting a new gym in two weeks and will be going there in the mornings at least twice a week. Unfortunately it is not near where you live and I feel bad but you will need to get a ride these days."

Now Joe can go all different ways with this. He could just buck up and understand you are not his ride anymore because you want to work out and you are 100% good with Joe and coworkers.

Joe could do something leachy like say "I don't mind hanging out at the gym." You have to be all in on this. So tell him that you are going at some ungodly time in the morning. Hell you might have to go once or twice then. I mean it could literally be anything so do something you enjoy. Make Joe's feel like he is having to live your life - which he should if he is bumming a ride this long (paying you gas money is no excuse). If Joe wants to keep this scenario up... well going to the gym in the morning makes you hungry... need to stop at a supermarket on the way home... shoot forgot to mail that letter, post office too.

The fact is you don't have a choice here because you don't have a good excuse other than you think that Joe is leaching and you are getting jealous of Joe. If you tell Joe this in the nicest humanly way possible you can still greatly offend Joe which may cause problems at your workplace.

You need a "reason" and that can be whatever you want, that you are unable to keep giving Joe a ride. And you can act as thoughtless as you want. It is far better that Joe whines to people about you being thoughtless and not thinking of him when you joined the gym (will probably make Joe out as the whiner and you the prince) than Joe making fun of you for being his jealous cheufeur. Just make sure you not giving him a ride is about you and not about Joe. Be selfish or thoughtless but don't diss Joe personally.

  • 6
    Personally, lying is terrible advice. Nov 30, 2018 at 2:21
  • Reshelduled all my associative task from Weekend to after work. It's not jealousy it's more education, being self-sufficient. There is a mental switch in me that was set to "Do not need help" and that's all. The salary here is the trigger. Having a car, would be a trigger too.
    – user88880
    Nov 30, 2018 at 10:56
  • @xdtTransform - I do like the spirit but I wouldn't go to far with that. An activity is different and why I gave that as an example. If you start just doing everything on the way to and from work you will probably come off as quite passive aggressive - so watch yourself. I could certainly see mixing in stopping 1-2 times a week somewhere with also having a couple of activities planned. Don't make 6 stops and zigzag your way home - funny but will probably result in same bad taste that other answers are going to cause you.
    – blankip
    Nov 30, 2018 at 19:30
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    @blankip I don't think it's stupid advice from any puritanical reason - lying is stupid because it's easy to get caught, and the only reason to lie is to assuage the feeling that you owe someone an explanation. There is practically no upside to lying like this, and when you get caught you look unprofessional and weak. The OP doesn't owe their colleague any kind of explanation, and fabricating one has the maximum possibility of backfiring. Nov 30, 2018 at 20:56
  • This is a terrific answer. You don't have to outright lie. It's completely normal in human discourse that you tell a "white lie" or a "soft lie" to soften a social interaction. Humans do this, like chimps groom. So, if you say "I now have to drive my sister every morning!" that is a ridiculous outright lie. But if you say "Ah, I've had some family changes and unfortunately it's not possible any more!" that is just a "soft truth". Sure, your family has just changed in some way. You're not "lying".
    – Fattie
    Dec 3, 2018 at 3:42

Since you say the cost is in Euro, I'll assume you are in Germany. There, cost for going to work can be deducted from tax at a rate of 32 cents per km, which would be €14.40 per day. (I don't know how happy the tax office would be with you driving back home for lunch, but it's about the cost only).

So at the very least he should pay €7.20 per day, but that doesn't take into account that you are doing all the work and he isn't. There is also no reason for you to give him a favourable rate, since he is making more a lot more money than you do.

So you just tell him "Look, I did the numbers, and this doesn't work out for me. €4.00 per day just doesn't look fair to me. The rate that the tax office says is correct €14.40 per day, and that doesn't take into account that I do all the driving. So I would say that €10.00 a day is a much more fair amount". That's if you are willing to drive him for that amount. Yes, it's a lot more than the cost of petrol, but if he buys his own car he will figure out that the cost of driving is a lot more than the cost of petrol.

If you don't want to drive you stop at "€4.00 per day just doesn't look fair to me, so I want to stop this". You can always wait for a counter offer. You're a lot cheaper than any taxi, and a lot more convenient and probably a lot cheaper than public transport.

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