I have a well paid job, but I've come to realize that I treat my bosses (we have matrix management) badly.
I turn up late, leave early, don't turn up for meetings, don't hand my work in on time, bunk work, and my absentee record - don't even want to think about that. Plus I don't get sanctioned for it. I am actually quite talented in my work, when I can be bothered to do it, and am fast and accurate. But that doesn't excuse me for being a dreadful member of staff. The company's very, very politically correct and understanding in a very motherly way.
Frankly, I have no passion for what I do now-a-days. I have to work with so much legacy stuff, which was sparkly and new 10-15 years ago, but is now rather drab and hum-drum.
The second issue contributing to a lot of my behavior is my family. I have young children to support, and a wife who dumps a lot of problems on me and expects me to carry the can. I have no friends or external support network. When something has to give, it's generally my work because I'm on the "Mommy track". In some respects it is my fault, as I elected to help my wife break the glass ceiling and give her the support necessary to do so.
I feel like I am in a vicious circle - I have to have a job to support my family, and I can't really go for something exciting (aka lower paid) or an internship or do a career volte-face, because of those obligations. And if I did try, I would still have to deal with all these bad habits and behaviors that are now ingrained.
I have raised this issue with my line manager, and have been tasked with coming up with my own solution.
So how do I rehabilitate myself and my work ethic? I would like to stop the poor patterns and introduce better ones, but I am not sure where I should look, or what I should look for in the way of reference material or advice. I would like to become the good, solid, dependable employee I once was.