I am an experienced individual, but have worked at my current workplace for many years. I am super nice and say everything with a smile on my face and even if someone is a bit rude to me.

The problem is that everyone takes me for granted and shouts at me if I do something wrong, but not the others doing same or even making major mistakes. In short, they try to implement everything on me. They hesitate to tell others what to do or not even my juniors, but tells me anything that crosses their minds.

I am very humble and super honest. I always do my work before the deadlines, but this is the problem that travels with me wherever I go.

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    While this is definitely the correct site to ask this question, you might want to be aware of interpersonal.stackexchange.com for future questions which are not workplace related. – Mawg says reinstate Monica Jan 3 '19 at 7:43
  • You might benifit from a 360 evaluation. One way to do so, is to send a list of positive and negative adjectives/desciptions to at least 10 (former) colleagues, relatuves, friends ... and to ask them to pick out 2 to 5 positive and 2 to 5 negaitive items that apply to you. The results can be unexpected and explain the way people treat you. – Dirk Horsten Jan 3 '19 at 12:59
  • "in one workplace for so many years" This is a HUGE issue. If this is software related, changing jobs/contracts from time to time is really a key part of your development. It's the only way to shake up your personality and become adaptable. – Fattie Jan 3 '19 at 14:24
  • Wait, your coworkers literally shout at you (or one another)? This is a symptom of a dysfunctional workplace, and not just/only about you as a person. – KlaymenDK Jan 3 '19 at 15:18
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    I'm confused, your title says "new workplace" but your text says you've been in the same place for many years. Do you mean you are moving to a new job and are asking about how to start off on the right foot when you do? – user812786 Jan 3 '19 at 15:46

Forgive me for being blunt, but you are not being nice, you are being a doormat and you need to stop. You need to be FAR more assertive. Not aggressive. Not rude, but assertive.

I am super nice and say everything with a smile on my face and even if someone is a bit bad to me.

That's the wrong approach. If someone is bad to you, you put an end to that behavior. A simple "I'm sorry, but I will not be addressed that way" is a good way to be assertive. It speaks to the person's behavior, not the person.

the problem is that everyone takes me for granted and shouts at me if I do a bit wrong but not the others doing same or even making major mistakes.

Again, because you tolerate it. "So, why is this an issue for me, now, when Joe did the same thing last week?" Don't let double standards pass.

In short, they try to implement everything on me. They hesitate to tell others what to do or not even my juniors but utter anything to my face that crosses there minds.

This is an important thing to understand:


I say this from experience. I grew up with a hearing impairment, mild autism, and poor motor skills due to an injury at birth. I was a huge target for bullying and it wasn't until I learned to stand up for MYSELF that the bullying stopped.

You need to stand up to your coworkers and not allow that behavior. Again, it can be as simple as saying "I will not be spoken to this way" or pointing out the hypocrisy or SOMETHING!

I am very humble and superb honest and also do my work before the deadlines but this is the problem that travels with me wherever I go.

So, the problem is you. The good news is that you can change that. Read books like Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people". It helped me. Also, learn about assertiveness, there are plenty of books like that out there, but do something before your self respect is completely gone.

Honesty and humility are great qualities. Being a doormat is not.

  • Easy to say, but to superiors which are rude, is it really the right approach to be assertive and say "Don't talk to me like that"; seems like it would be a more complicated situation than I summize from the awnser. – user94796 Jan 5 '19 at 17:44
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    Please don't change what I have said, then criticize me for saying what I didn't. I find it to be quite irritating. – Old_Lamplighter Jan 5 '19 at 19:45

You need to set better boundaries and stand up for yourself when necessary no matter what the cost or end result might be. Doesn't matter if it's someone junior or senior to you that you're talking with. From your tone of writing it seems you're trying to be overly nice and humble. Don't. Next time someone trying to drag you down despite you doing your job, be stern and assertive that you have done your part of the work. Do not apologize, do not nod your head and give in to what they are saying. Then cut them off and walk away.

If they still try to humiliate you/shout at you, remind them that they are in a professional environment and that this is no way to talk to a fellow professional.

An offhand advice I would recommend to you is pick up either lifting weights or MMA as an hobby. When you toughen up physically and mentally, you start respecting yourself more and others respect you as well. Bullys will always bully. You need to stop being the weakest one who always gets bullied.


You can be polite and humble and still be taken seriously. But as mentioned in other answer, you need to set up boundaries. Someone shouting at you is not acceptable and you need to convey that, with a smile on your face as is your style. You can be polite and firm. Just mention that this is not the way to behave.

In my opinion, people do not take you for granted because you are super nice. People do that because you don't speak up. And you don't have to shout to be heard. My college Dean was super polite and nice, but no one could mess with him because he would simply not accept non sense from us :). He was humble but firm, we could not bargain with him.

Another thing you can do is start speaking to people in person that their behavior is unacceptable. If you are not comfortable speaking up against this behavior in meeting, then you can wait for meeting to finish and tell them person one on one his behavior is not acceptable. This will make a big difference. People don't like confrontation. Most people will start to back off once you let them know you don't appreciate their behavior.

Another way to handle this is to complaint to such people's manager. See if you have some relations there. Make an issue on the behavior. Tell them you appreciate the feedback but not the way it is spoken and it should not happen in a professional environment. If it happens again, you will speak to Hr about it. That will pass on a strong message without you needing to change your working style.

Also, keep your work top notch. Its good that you complete your work before time. Please make sure that you use the extra time to review your work. As you mentioned, mistakes do happen. Accept your mistakes but pass on the message gently that the behavior is not acceptable.


You are super honest. So the next time someone shouts at you, you tell them super honestly that they are shouting and react to nothing they say. Anyone shouts at you, you ignore them. Walk away. They will learn soon enough that shouting at you doesn’t help, and the shouting stops.

If someone tries to tell you what to do when they shouldn’t, good answers are: Are you talking to me? What makes you think you can tell me what to do? Or the short form, “no”.

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