3

I work with another individual in an office (we work in a large office everyone has a roommate (s) ) She has been in her job for 15 years. I have been in my position for 5, in the past I was a trainer for our department.

Our company was purchased, we updated our computers June 2018. She asked lots of questions (that she should either know or has resources to look up) she's just lazy and asks me. I think it's unfair of her to constantly depend upon me to answer questions. I have my own job to do.

I did set a boundary with her, by letting her know that it creates a lot of workplace stress by depending on me to be her sole source. which of course she broke within 1/2 hour. I figured out, that she just smoozes me or knows how to manipulate me. In order that I answer questions....

Has anyone ever experienced this? It is hard for me to set boundaries ( this is a weakness of mine that I'm taking ownership of & working to improve), she knows this. Any suggestions on how to effectively handle this situation?

  • "It is hard for me to set boundaries " you must fix it ! "this is a weakness of mine that I'm taking ownership of & working to improve" you are on the right track! work harder on fixing this problem of yours! – Fattie Jan 25 at 18:34
  • "I am busy right now. Can we come back to this after lunch?" – Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen May 15 at 11:00
1

Has anyone ever experienced this? It is hard for me to set boundaries, and I think she knows this.... Any suggestions?

Be clear, yet polite, on the moments you are/are not available to answer her questions. We all have other things to do, so one must be careful not to leave those tasks behind just because one feels compelled to help others.

Next time she asks, and you are busy, I would try phrasing it something like this:

Hello, [name]. I would love to help you, but right now I am in the middle of something important that I must complete. Try looking for the answer by your own for now, and when I am free I will come back to you and gladly help find the solution if you haven't already.

After that, be firm on your statement.

If she insists, insist back to her that you must finish this first before helping her. If she is reasonable she will stop asking and wait for you to finish (or better yet, find the solution by herself).

  • "this is a weakness of mine that I'm taking ownership of & working to improve" OP just needs to KICK ASS on the personal improvement front. OP is here for reinforcement. Just keep up the good work OP! Regarding this PITA co-worker, take it as a great learning opportunity for you to learn how to set boundaries! – Fattie Jan 25 at 18:36
  • @Fattie I agree that setting boundaries and being firm on them is a useful skill to learn, otherwise you will continue to be interrupted and expected to help everybody whenever they want to. – DarkCygnus Jan 25 at 18:38
  • 1
    indeed, I was referring to .. the OP actually points out that this is a self-problem OP is already working on ! – Fattie Jan 25 at 18:49

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.