How to deal with coworker who abuse me a lot? [closed]

Question

I have 5 years of PHP Development experience and in our team there is game developer who has 1.5 years experience. Since I have 5 years I knows some of programming topics or in other words I more fluent then him in programming. So when team lead giving a task to us then he always try to get my attention because of my relevant questions and may be quickly understanding about requirements, and this thing my coworker does not like.

He always try to led down me, specially whenever he failed to implement any web service in the game he try to blame me, however it happened more than 10 times in front of team lead when he said this issue is because of API and always issue was in game.

Now when he realized that he failed to led me down in front of team lead, he started to abuse me directly. He is not calling me with my name, he is using some bad name to call me.

He is 4 years older than me, always try give me depression, now the situation is I don't want to sit in the same room or in office. Because now I can't focus on my task properly because of his unprofessional comments about me.

I even can't see to him, I am so scared from him because his eyes are... I don't have words to explain. This is the reason my clock just stop and timing is not going to end, 8 hours are like 8 days or months.

Can someone guide me how to deal with such kind of situation? Should I contact to higher management?

Answer 1

First, talk to your direct Manager privately about this, even if only to let them know that something is going on between you and your coworker. While they might see these interactions, it's very possible they didn't see the depth of the issue.

Then, be sure to properly document every technical issue that is resolved between you and coworker. Don't make any value judgements, just state verifiable facts. For example: "The API is working as designed. The client was sending the wrong TPS code."

Hopefully, your Manager will address the issues privately with the coworker, and not tell you about it. This is usually how things go.

If the problem persists for more than one dev cycle after you first talk with the Manager, then it's appropriate to ask your Manager to directly intervene to address the issue. In the mean time, just treat you coworker as professionally as possible. I sincerely hope your Manager will give you words of support that will cheer you up.

Answer 2

Hello and welcome to StackExchange!

You should probably add a country tag as well to your question as it may be relevant. Someone from your country knowing the usual work regulations can provide you a better answer in that case. But I will give you a blanket answer that should be transferable across countries.

What you are describing is bullying, and such behavior should not be tolerated at work. You should contact your manager and HR department.

You should not go to work having the feelings you have. Express this to your superiors as you will soon start making mistakes and justifying his claims because of it. You also spend 1/3 of your day in the workplace and 1/3 sleeping. That is a BIG part of your day to be spent in a dark place.

Answer 3

Have you tried to talk to him about that? Perhaps he really doesn't see how much harm he's causing.

Also, when he says something is your fault, is important that you can say why that is not true. You don't have to say "no, it's YOUR fault" but you need to defend your work. You could ask questions, like, "why do you think it's an API problem?". If he's wrong, he won't be able to answer that.

Finally, if nothing works, you should talk about it with your manager and HR. If he's causing harm and is unprofessional, someone has to do something about it. Working place can't be toxic.

If nothing works, you should start updating your resume.