I am a recent graduate in Physics (Bachelors), and will be entering the job realm in a couple of weeks. I have notice many places require training where I may have to leave my family to obtain. I also have a child on the way (like possible today). I don't want to leave my girlfriend during this time as she is still in college taking courses at the physical location. Yet, we need more cash flow into the household. Any advice on going about this situation (like a way to postpone my training yet still obtain the job)? I am specifically looking into the military defense sector, if that helps any.

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    What does "during this time" mean to you? There is a large difference between "I don't want to miss the birth, the birth is realistically going to be in the next 2-3 weeks, then I can travel" and "I don't want to leave my girlfriend with a small child so I don't want to travel for the next year or two". It's a lot easier to postpone training for a couple weeks than a couple years particularly when you're still in the interview process. Feb 7, 2019 at 17:52
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    @Fattie I don't understand how people can decide to have a child without planning any of this. OP, honest question. What did you think would happen?
    – user91988
    Feb 7, 2019 at 18:26

2 Answers 2


I'd suggest looking for a job in your sector that doesn't require training where you would have to leave your family - when in doubt, you can ask during the application process.

It seems perfectly valid to ask before or during the application process where and for how long the required training will happen. There are numerous reasons why some people can't leave their family for a longer period of time, and taking care of your baby and girlfriend is certainly a good reason.

Alternatively, look for some kind of temporary job where at least you can make some money and possibly gain some relevant work experience without leaving your family.

If your goal is making some extra money without leaving your family, you could try to find some other job that is perhaps not your dream job, but would satisfy both of your requirements. After maybe a few months, when you feel more comfortable with the new situation, you could still start looking for a "real" job.

Ideally, if you pick up a temporary job, it would be somehow related to the sector you desire to work in later on. But if that is not possible, it still won't hurt your career.

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    This is perhaps the best answer. OP seems to have a fear that "all jobs have training!" It's simply not at all the case.
    – Fattie
    Feb 7, 2019 at 18:34

Any advice on going about this situation (like a way to postpone my training yet still obtain the job)?

Best advice I have is to be upfront, open and honest about the situation - see what they say.

Some employers will naturally be more accommodating than others, depending on how critical the training is to your role and how realistic it is that you get by without it for the first few weeks. They may not even want to do it right away, so it might not present an issue.

If it does prove to be an issue, some employers may also offer you to delay your start date - depending if immediate or long term cash flow is a concern, that may be an option you wish to take (you may sacrifice a month's salary, but you'll know that you have a job to go to after that, and don't have the pressure of interviews after the baby is born.)

  • A few weeks ? I don't get that - nobody gets to take off "a few weeks" to celebrate a birth. Sure - obviously - when your wife heads to the hospital you dump everything and run off to be there. Anyway, again, the question is unclear.
    – Fattie
    Feb 7, 2019 at 18:12
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    @Fattie Plenty of people do. It's called maternity or paternity leave.
    – user91988
    Feb 7, 2019 at 18:26
  • Not in the context at hand, Only.
    – Fattie
    Feb 7, 2019 at 18:27
  • @Fattie Oh gotcha. Agreed, then. No one is getting paternity leave when they're still in job training, unless it's at a super swanky company.... which the military defense sector definitely is not ;)
    – user91988
    Feb 7, 2019 at 18:38
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    @Fattie I agree, I'm not talking about starting a job and immediately going on holiday for a few weeks, I'm saying starting a job and working "as normal" for a few weeks, and not staying away from home during that time to go on some kind of training. Many reasonable employers would allow you to do that, I feel.
    – berry120
    Feb 7, 2019 at 19:19

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