I currently have a huge problem. Normally when you leave school in my country (Germany) you do an apprenticeship for a specific job or start studying. Well I decided to try my, or let's say our, own way and started to be self-employed together with my parents. We started to be successful at first in our own created company, but then it slowly went to financial crisis until it finally completely collapsed.
I early on noticed that this concept won't be my future as I was bound into the family and all the problems that I and my other siblings who walked the "normal way" normally did not have "insight into" and as you can guess, if there were financial problems, I also received no money "because the family needs it" and sometimes even got blamed for things I couldn't control. Therefore my motivation went to 0 quickly. But I started to continue doing my own things, that they did not see and I also didn't want them to see, and went into developing and creative stuff. I had the problem that I started many things but did not really finish them. I earned some bucks and also "respect" from companies for several things but those were in "special places" where they could not offer jobs for.
And now my current situation. All the jobs I want to apply for want an application. I tried to ask for an internship, to avoid the need to send an application, by visiting the company or calling with the CEO directly, but it ends up with "send us an application, we will look into it." The problem is: My application is shit. I cannot show exactly what I did, because there's nothing I've finished. I thought about creating a creative application with photoshop or some graphics, at other places I wanted to apply with a website but there I would use a bought template.
I had / have a chance to launch my first own project, but now I need to look for an apartment because we as a family again have financial problems and live in a small space where I'm extremely stressed and get to bed sometimes crying because I feel overwhelmed. Partly because of family issues and partly because of problems with depression and worse, which makes it even harder (but I don't want to get deeper into this). I love being alone so I would love to have a very small apartment for myself. But till today there was always something preventing me to get one. So I am thinking to accept "any job" to get my own apartment and from there on continue my life.
So now to my question, you might have experienced similar issues: How can I apply in the best way? Does it sound bad if I tell the employer that in the last years I did nothing professionally but that I am ready to learn new things? And should I also go for "higher jobs"? And how can I overcome having low self confidence? When there's an opportunity, I always tell myself that I am too bad for it, they will find better guys and I cannot do this job or I do not have enough qualities for this. I really get nervous thinking about working at a job and not being good enough and then maybe even getting fired. And I look up to the team and see how experienced they all are, what school they visited and then there's me. I saw an offer for example for a level 1-2 support, which would be great because I work on a computer (what I like more than in a factory or store) but they for example require a training as mentioned above.
Update Hello together, since this has got some attention I did not thought of, I've decided to share what has happened the last 3 months. Even tho the time itself is not much - what happened actually is. I've applied to several positions and got 3 invites. All of them did not led to a job but to an opportunity that I took. When I went to those interviews, I was quiet unsure about how to act. But I've dediced to stay myself and simply go as I am. I did not lie in my application, I did not tell them how perfect their job would be for me and how I would love to work for them and I did not say that I am the perfect candidate. The answers were almost what I thought they would be. No thanks, nope and a maybe.
But what I like is, that opportunities can come out of nowhere and they did. Around 5 years ago when doing my work I thought was "nothing", there was a guy who remembered what I did and told that to someone - I was recommended to him. And why? Not because I am the best in what I did back then, but because he appreciated my character and HOW I have worked back then. This led to a chance that now turned out to be the foundation of the work I now have started. I start to take my work way more serious and through the interviews I learned, that most things just need time. I am still doing much things, but I think that with the time I will figure out what I can do the best. I just need time. If I have more patience, I can improve. I am still feeling very insecure, instable and sometimes even sad due to all of this. But a job wouldn't change anything. Now I see hope and am thankful for this. I said no to a job offer I later got but knew I would hate to go to and said yes to an opportunity I have to take, where I get paid the same amount and even do things I like. Thank you guys!