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I've started my first job for 4 months and it is going well, there are quite good training in my company as this is a junior position. My mentor is fairly patient, responsible and provided a lot of help to me. I work extremely hard as well.

However I have decided to quit my current job and I'm looking for a new job in my hometown now, as I have a family there, my kid needs me. I travel a few hundred miles back home every week just to see them, which I find impossible to keep it going like this in the future. Therefore I've decided to leave my current job once I've found a new one.

I feel guilty for my mentor and my boss now as I've only received training from them, they are really nice ppl and nice to me. To be fair, I have not created any value to the company as I'm only learning. I know legally there is nothing wrong with this decision as it stated on my contract that I can leave with 1 week notice cause I'm in my probation period, but should I feel guilty? Am I doing something morally wrong?

I understand that accepting this job was lack of consideration as I should be aware of the difficulty of travelling, but now it's too late to talk about it.

  • Not blaming you, but the position must have been attractive for you months ago. Has something changed since you decided to take it? Or did you simply not foresee the current situation of wanting to travel back home every weekend? – Richard Flamsholt Mar 13 at 23:17
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    This is my first job after graduate, I did not want to leave any gaps due to insufficient income. I underestimated the difficulty of travelling, or possibly was too excited to get a job at that time. Honestly the reasons are 1. too much travel really (250 miles on Friday and another 250 miles on Sunday, literally have no time to do anything else); 2. me and my family missing each other. – southguy Mar 13 at 23:23
  • Why can't your family move closer to you? Is your spouse working a job, and if so is it high-paying or something? – Zorkolot Mar 15 at 18:34
  • We are pretty settled in my hometown, there are other reasons for my family not to move to where I am. Moving myself is always much easier than moving the entire family. – southguy Mar 16 at 22:12
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A desire to move to be closer to family is an acceptable reason to seek new employment. I would not feel guilty for doing that.

Having said that, if the reason you're leaving is simply to get a better job with more pay, or a better environment, or whatever, you need to look inward and decide if a change of setting will REALLY be better. If you're currently getting training, advancing your career, and enjoy the environment, that can go a long way. I look back on a few times I have left a job in my past career and wish I'd just simply stayed where I was. The grass is not always greener.

  • Thanks for the reply, I thought about staying for my long-term career plan, but on the other hand if I decide to leave after longer time, say a year, I think I will cause more damage to the company cause I've finished my training and doing something probably irreplaceable as this is a small company. So I think if I want to leave, the earlier the better. – southguy Mar 14 at 21:34
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I would suggest speaking with your manager about the travel time. If the environment is as positive and encouraging as you suggest, it wouldn't hurt to have a conversation about it. However, keep it related to how it is impacting your productivity, well being, and any potential business resiliency issues. Come with examples or potential solutions (work 4 10s instead of 5 8s, working remotely one day a week, etc). Good managers care about both the company needs and the impact on the employees.

You knew the travel requirement coming into the job, so the worst outcome would be that there's no change and you continue looking.

Don't mention looking for another job.

At the end of the day, you decide what's best for you and your professional/personal well being. Doing something that betters you is not something to feel guilty about.

  • Thank you, If I decide to stay I'd possible try your solution, but since I will leave I think I will not talk to my boss in case he agrees me with your 'potential solutions' and I decide to leave again, then it would look worse. But I agree with you, if I'd stay maybe 4 10s would be much better for me. I will not mention looking for another job. – southguy Mar 14 at 21:41
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A company is aware of the risks associated with having an intern and new employees. It's an investment. Not all investments return in high yields. It's okay.

You haven't left, you haven't signed anything for anyone, you don't even know if someone will hire you. Enjoy the training and learn from it. Maybe things will change for you and you actually won't change jobs. Plans don't go always to plan.

There is nothing wrong with respecting the notice period. It's no less morally wrong for you to enjoy their training and then leave with a 1 week notice (if that's the notice period) just as there would be nothing morally wrong of their half to use the time of their employees and then ditching them with a 1 week notice.

Besides, I think there's a huge chance you're undermining yourself. Just because you're in training doesn't mean you're not providing value to the company already.

  • Thank you for your reply! Why would you say Just because you're in training doesn't mean you're not providing value to the company already? I vaguely feel that I'm the hardest working one among 3 newest employees but in what aspect could I undermining myself? – southguy Mar 14 at 21:38
  • I say you may be undermining the value you're providing by believing that it's not enough, just because you're being trained for something potentially bigger down the road. Your guilt seems to based around the fact that you're being given something, in this case training. We're probably on the same page here and I'm glad to see that you're confident in the work you're doing. You're an employee, the training is just a part of it. You wouldn't feel guilty about receiving salary for the work you're doing. Don't be about the training you receive either. It's just a part of the job. – Jonast92 Mar 14 at 23:50

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