This is sort of cry for help, not the regular question:

I've always wanted to become a game developer, have been coding for 7 years from now and modelling for 2 years, but for the whole period of 2 years I haven't got any responses to my CV. Many companies require work experience, but I don't have any, because I never had a job, in fact I've never had friends by interests.

As the result of my past I've never been active and communicative, the only thing I was good at is talking to a computer and learning. Throughout the years I kept loosing my self confidence, I ran from Russia, because teachers were using my abilities to claim my researches in ternary algorithms field. From this point I have no support for my ideas or money. I've been tested at MENSA and the result was 152, which is comparable to noble prize winners. At my age of 21 I've been published 3 times and took part in countless Competitions in math and informatics.

But now and then I didn't feel myself useful. In fact I never had a good team, those I had were slacking and I did all the job in the matter of days.

I don't have any degree, because I ran from the high school, have no experience, self confidence. The only things I'm left with is programming and 3D/2D modelling and texturing. For now I'm afraid of asking for help, because people tend to ruin my expectations or just be trolls. I have hard times starting talking to people, because it pressures me hard to the ground.

I can offer my potential to work, I can learn things in days, but nobody cares. No one wants a potential threat to their career, they want a worker, who knows everything and does everything without questioning.

Throughout the years I've been creating and polishing a story of my own universe, and eventually I'd like it to be enjoyable to most people. Even if I shan't get myself much money, I'd still prefer working on things I like: coding, gaming, modelling.

Please help me with an answer, what can I do about situation before I get depression. I've no one to ask but you.

  • 6
    I think that, if you can afford it, you may seek some professional help (not from friends and even less from strangers in a random QA site). I guess that with a little help everything will seem brighter and with your potential then soon everything will be even more brighter. – Adriano Repetti Mar 16 '19 at 19:05
  • @AdrianoRepetti what kind of professional support? And that's the point of random QnA, I struggle talking in person and start the dialogue, and here I'm just a random one – Ilya Pakhmutov Mar 16 '19 at 19:19
  • 2
    Build a game yourself. Get a portfolio. Go to a game jam and network. – Glen Pierce Mar 16 '19 at 19:21
  • @GlenPierce I do have some projects related to gaming, have my own try of UE4 - a pinball game, written in C++, but it is not enough I think and it looks horrible for me, but efficient. I don't know how to make portfolio, I have tons of textures, intro clips in 3D, some coding projects, but they are on my desktop, I don't feel them posting to git or SVN – Ilya Pakhmutov Mar 16 '19 at 19:27
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    @IlyaPakhmutov a doctor to help you with what MIGHT be the beginning of depression. – Adriano Repetti Mar 16 '19 at 19:49

The same way as everyone gets a job without degrees and all the rest. You start entry level at whatever you can get and work yourself up. No one quite rightfully would be interested in hiring you at a higher level.

Your intelligence test tells an employer nothing about how you would work in a team or even how reliably you'd work on your own. Which is actually more important to most jobs.

The alternative which should be easy for you, is to get certifications. They're not that expensive, and it's an investment in yourself.

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Become a freelancer / start your own company for games, movie or broadcast VFX instead of being an employee.

This brings many advantages.

  • Ultimately you're only answering to yourself and have many freedoms

  • companies are less picky in contrast to employing someone

  • your CV doesn't require all the usual details like education, employment history etc.

  • let your work mostly speak for itself (portfolio / showreel)

  • you're hired for short or mid term and present much less admin effort and expenses to the company

  • your and the companys' commitment to each other is limited and "testing" you is much easier

  • you're indepent from the company and won't have to concern yourself with inner politics or to climb the hierarchy ladder

  • you can (actually must for high end work) offer your services worldwide, will gain valuable experience with different company cultures, pipelines and countries

  • You'll build a network of highly talented people and companies soon, that you can draw upon to get your next job or to hire for own projects

  • You advance quicker in seniority and financially because you can raise your fees according to experience

  • Quickly you'll have many projects to show you worked on and different positions / type of work you can present as experience

  • you can take a break from work if you need to and get back into it whenever you have to financially or want to

Your portfolio / showreel

You model, texture and code.

Create or polish existing 3D models and present them in images or turntables.

Make a handful of good ones and one hero model that you deem is your best work.

Similarly with textures and code.

You have a pinball game. Make sure it works,is without bugs and looks presentable.

Don't worry if you think the code is not perfect, beautyful or elegant.

In the real world code has to fulfill its function first and foremost.

Deadline preassures hardly ever let you make the perfect code.

Keep it presentable, simple,logical and adhering to good practices in case they want to see the source.

Of course being a freelancer has cons as well:

  • You need to take care of taxes, healthcare and pensions yourself or hire an accountant (highly recommended)

  • You'll constantly look for the next gig unless a company offers longer term contract or employment and you go for it

  • no paid holidays or sick leaves

Freelance work is not for everybody.

If you're living in a large city you can become stationary with a family and change between the companies in the area or seek longer term contracts.

But if that's not the case you'll become a digital nomad, travelling to different places and working always while gettig settled in the new environment just before you leave again.

You have to manage yor own work and company to keep earning a living.

Granted, you can hire accountants and agencies but ultimately you're responsible for your own success or failure.

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  • 1
    Being a freelancer requires a huge amount of non-technical skills. It is actually much closer to being a sales-person than a programmer. This isn't recommended if the OP does not have the soft-skills to close deals and negotiate contracts. – Nelson Mar 18 '19 at 8:53
  • @DigitalBlade969 I made up my mind for searching for a company which has the same interest in development as I do, it shall take time, but eventually it can give results. Thanks to thee for help :) – Ilya Pakhmutov Mar 18 '19 at 21:53
  • @IlyaPakhmutov glad I could help somewhat, you're welcome. Good luck ! – DigitalBlade969 Mar 18 '19 at 21:56

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