Today I had an argument with my boss. We had some problems with our software. A configuration issue that was partly our fault, but also a problem with the support team that didn't deploy it correctly.
When I ask that team to check their servers and see what differences they can find, their boss says it's a problem with us. My boss tells me to look at the problem myself. I explain that I can't do it (I can't reproduce the issue with my setup) and she again tells me to deal with it. I say "what do you want me to do?" and she tells me not to talk to her in that tone. Then I hang up.
I was really mad at the moment, when she disavowed me in front of everyone in a call.
Then we have a call with her boss, he gives me the reason, but of course without some "stern talk".
This has been a pattern lately. My boss doesn't stand up for the team and tells us to "deal" with things outside our reach. She won't listen to me and will always take responsibility for things that have nothing to do with us. Earlier in the day another team member had an argument with her. I talked to this person and she told me she's tired of being told exactly what to write in every email she sends (this is another thing our boss does. she wants us to have the same email writing style).
Anyways. My boss is overworked. We're not the support team but she takes responsibility for support issues. Clients yell at her. She gets stressed. Her stress starts trickling down on us.
How can I deal with a person like this?
Edit: My boss also doesn't respect her own schedule. She decided we should have daily meetings, but the first day she canceled them. "She had a meeting with a client". She won't sey no to clients, ever. Not even "I have a meeting scheduled at this time, would you mind if we met 30 minutes later?" This is not only annoying but personally I see it as disrespect to her own team.