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On the one hand, I strongly believe people should work to solve their problems instead of running from them. On the other, I'm wondering when is the time to say "it doesn't work".

I accepted a position which was a clear step up from my previous role. The tasks are great, I love what I do and I do it well.

At the same time:

  1. My boss seems not to like me on the personal level. For me personally, it doesn't play much role whether I like people I work with. It's enough that they are professional (reliable, communicative). For him however it seems to play a role. He subtly accusses me of mistakes I have never committed. He insists on me doing things one way and when I do them, he subtly tells me it was a mistake to do them like that.

  2. The company is quite conflicted. It's not possible to avoid conflicts with other depts. My boss always tells me what I've done wrong, never takes my site although objectively I didn't do anything wrong and can prove it. Some people in other depts see me as a threat from my day 1 and they accuse me randomly of things.

  3. He's decision-averse. When I ask him to intervene in situations which prevent me from working, he doesn't. Projects are stalled for weeks because he doesn't approve the budget.
  4. I have the feeling the quality of job doesn't matter. (I'm in a technical field). What matters are his feelings and his feelings are subjective and not based on what I do or don't do.
  5. My boss' expectations are crazy given our resources. It's as if I was said to cook a big dinner for 10 people with 2 apples and some carrots. It's simply not doable.
  6. He doesn't praise me if I manage to do things that are considerably more than what could be reasonably expected from me. I've managed to have some successes already. Instead of praising me, he criticised the way I got there, i.e. by taking decisions. He wants me to work the way he works - by waiting for things to solve themselves on their own but also gives me goals that are simply incredibly ambitious and which I could never reach just by sitting down and not taking action.

What I've done so far:

  • I always try to deliver results first. Even if resources are scarce or there are problems. I don't run to him with every problem. I talk to people, try to get additional resources, work myself crazy hours. I educate myself how to automate things and optimise processes to be able to "close the carrots" to feed all the people. I'm proactive.
  • I've always tried explaining, objectively, what happened to him when serious problems come up or if I believe some situation can result in a major conflict. I consult him on my major decisions.

On my situation:

  • I will have difficulties finding another job on this level
  • I've been with the company for several months.

I feel growingly exhausted, starting dreading going to work and feel my efforts aren't paying off. So: Should I be looking for a new job if the cooperation with my new boss results difficult?

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... and his feelings are subjective ...

Of course his feelings are subjective! Feelings are always subjective. What matters is how we react to them.

I will have difficulties finding another job on this level

A job at a different "level" (whatever that means) can be equally, if not more, interesting

I've been with the company for several months.

That is definitely not a good factor for deciding your life.


As you describe it, your job life is not smooth. To say the least. I had similar experiences in the past too. I handled them in two ways:

  1. When I was younger, I suffered for a while (even years at a time), and then switched jobs. I never regretted it, even though the new job was not perfect either.

  2. Later, I suffered without switching jobs because I had too many things going on in my life. I just could not handle the effort of finding a new job - combined with the fact thar the companies in the city have a deal to not accept employees from each other.

For a while it was incredibly difficult, being ridiculed publicly for the sh*t which was obviously the responsibility of others.

After a while I started to notice patterns of behavior - what did my colleagues do to have an easy life, being pretty much incompetents and delivering garbage.

In the end, by "copying" their attitudes (while remaining professional), I improved my job life to an unrecognizable (good) level.

The best: after I learned my lesson, I got an opportunity for another job, at another company, and my life again improved greatly. I still carry my lessons with me, and they pay.


You have to be aware that no two people are the same. What works in my case, might not work for you. Why? Because my boss has some expectations, and yours probably has other expectations.

Just learn from your colleagues. What do they do, that the boss is friendly with them?

  • they talk to him more, about private matters, or about job / tasks;
  • they invite / include him for a "team-building" in the evenings sometimes;
  • they make him gifts (regardless of price or value);
  • they praise him for things (his looks, clothes, joyfulness)...
  • others...

So as you can see , there are many things which can work. Do not re-invent the wheel, do not try things which were not tested previously - they may backfire. For example, if you try the "praise" stuff, but he has an aversion to it, you will only make things worse.

Bottom line: understand what your colleagues do, and learn. Adjust your behavior. If that does not work here, you are definitely going to be able to find another job, sooner or later. As they say: you are not a tree, you can move :)

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I feel growingly exhausted, starting dreading going to work and feel my efforts aren't paying off.

That's the summation of all this right there. Basically you're in a poisonous situation.

So: Should I be looking for a new job if the cooperation with my new boss results difficult?

Should you leave a poisonous situation? Yes. You should.

The countering information in all this is "I've been with the company for several months." and "I will have difficulties finding another job on this level".

You're still in the "make it work" phase, so either you're overreacting or the situation is exceptionally poisonous (your post suggests the later). If it's going to take you months or years to find new work, I suggest you start now. If you situation improves then you can back off on the looking.

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