I started a junior-level software job in January and my boss and I are the only devs who work onsite. There are two others who are brand new so for most of the time I've been at the company, my boss and I have been the only devs.

I had 3 interviews with him (two in person) and I got the sense that we gelled well and that I could learn from him.

Since I started, I've felt the opposite. There have been multiple times where I've asked him something and he seems annoyed that I'm speaking to him, and there have been other times where he comes off as gruff and sometimes condescending.

A few months ago I got "moved" to working on smaller tasks since I was unable to complete solo projects quickly enough, he seemed frustrated because he said I was hired to do that. I mean, I've been doing web dev for less than a year and he's been a dev for 15+. To be fair, I've been less stressed because I'm not working on intensive solo projects.

With other people in the office he has casual conversations with them and cracks the occasional joke, but around me he seems indifferent. It might because we have a boss-employee relationship. Maybe it's because I'm a female. He and the previous intern got along swimmingly, and a part of me wishes he and I had that relationship.

I consider myself a decent conversationalist and for the most part people like me, but with him it's different. By this point I've stopped trying to get him to like me.

However, I don't like interacting with him at work. I don't like feeling anxious when I'm about to ask him a question. Whenever I'm at home and he sends me a message I get anxious that I screwed up.

Have any of you left a job because of a personality clash with a boss and/or co-worker? What events led up to you leaving?

I should also note that for my area I get paid very little. It's another major reason why I want to leave.

  • 1
    HI Bodrov, welcome to The Workplace! Unfortunately, it is highly likely that your question as it stands will be closed as being too broad or primarily opinion-based. Can you try to rephrase your question? – Jane S May 29 '19 at 2:58
  • In my opinion, quitting is common and the reasons are varied. You need to ask yourself. But I'm not a fan of taking things personally. When you work, be as professional as you can. and also, in my opinion, he's not abusive to you. If I were you, I'd reflect on my skills and ask him feedback on how to improve it. Don't try to befriend him (don't make him your enemy as well though). Treat him as your boss. – kkesley May 29 '19 at 3:27
  • Looks like an opinion-based question.... close it? – rapt May 29 '19 at 7:22
  • @rapt "Have any of you left a job because of a personality clash with a boss and/or co-worker?" sounds like a question that has definite concrete answers to me. – motosubatsu May 29 '19 at 9:51
  • I know several people who have moved teams for this reason as opposed to quitting all together, could be an option if you like the company, but seems like you have other issues with it. – Uciebila May 29 '19 at 15:20

Yes, I've quit because the president of the startup I worked at was a sociopath. He treated everyone save for a few quite horribly (yelling, telling them they are worthless, forcing them to work overnight, etc), and used the company for his own personal gain, and let others run certain projects even though they made the company run into debt, which for a startup, made for a really unstable environment.

While I understand your relationship with him is not a pleasant one, I do not feel like that should be a big enough reason to quit. You are getting experience, and your work load is less stressful since you no longer have the intensive solo projects. I would suggest that instead of trying to improve your relationship by being friendly, to try to improve it by dedicating yourself to your tasks, and to try to improve your technical skills (you only have one year experience, so you should improve). Once you can go back to handling the intsensive solo projects, your relationship will likely improve, and you may be in a position to get a raise as well (there is not enough context to assert this statement.)

If you are unsatisfied with your pay, that is another story, and you can look for work if that is what you choose, but keep in mind that in your new company you may have an even worse experience with your coworkers/boss.

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