I've been at my current company for several months. I have a boss with whom I really need to walk on eggshells.
He reads a lot into the tone with which I say things. Of course, most people attach some importance to the tone... But in his case that's stronger than in the case of my previous bosses. He frequently reads something into the tone of my voice which absolutely wasn't my intention. Then he tells it to me and I find it difficult not to act defensively.
The fact I'm not a native speaker doesn't make things easier. I do speak the language I use with him very well, but I can't know whether I don't commit tiny mistakes. Realistically speaking, I probably do and I will always do. (We can't speak a different language).
I've got really self-conscious since starting to work with him since I've already said something several times, which he interpreted as impolite or pushy, which absolutely wasn't my intention.
One example: he asks me how I am. I say "I'm fine, thank you". He tells me he sensed hesitation in my voice and asks what problem I have. This wouldn't be a big deal if it didn't happen so often.
Or: When I ask for something I need to phrase it extremely carefully: "Could you please send me X when you have a second if you don't mind?" (etc. etc.) to minimise the risk he will understand it as pushy. If I just write "Could you please send me X? Thanks a lot", he sees it as impolite.
I live in a Western society and don't think it's about the culture.
What is the best way to deal with that? My goal is to have a normal job, which is demanding but doesn't make me stressed all the time.