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I currently work in an office environment. The times i work are 9am till 5:30pm. I have been working here for the past 8 years. I was promoted to manager of a certain department over a year ago. I only have one employee working beside me.

Our client base has grown by around 10% since I took over this department. The employee working with me is my best friend. The problem here is...He is slow at his job, I do 75% of the work and him 25%. We are meant to be doing 50/50 while I also do advising and other jobs, however I have to take it all on myself. Due to him being my best friend I do not say anything to my boss.

This causes me a lot of stress at work. Most of the time I have to work the weekend just to get my work done on time. We have a timeframe with our job, if we do not finish the job on time then the customer will be fined. So far I have never got any customer a fine. I sometimes have worked 24 hours through the night and Monday-Sunday 3+ weeks in a row, even without lunch most times, just so the customer does not get a fine. This is also because I love my company and my customers.

I spoke to my friend about being slow and he knows he's slow, but he says he can't get faster because he is already doing his best and I believe him.

I asked my boss for another employee and it is always empty promises. Soon, soon, soon, but it never happens. He says we have money problems. Well if you are wasting nearly £60,000 a year on your son and daughters combined salary then yes we will have money problems. The boss's son and daughter who both hardly do any work, comes in late everyday, leaves early most days and has at least 1 day off during the week, well that just puts my moral level below the ground. I am working my ass off everyday, it is just not fare.

I spoke to my boss about this and he said we can not do anything about there job roles or reducing there wages to get another employee.

I have been offered another job, it is £4,200 a year less but I will learn A-Z regarding my job, where as the current job I am in cannot afford to teach me due to everyone not having enough time. I currently know A-T.

This other job will be stress free and no unprofessional employees. However I will take a pay cut and most likely be on that pay for another two years.

What can I do to stop this situation from escalating and giving me more stress and burden?

Also, what do you think about the boss's son and daughter's unprofessionalism, is there something I can do to address that?

  • No employees mentioned above, including myself, have any education regarding this current job. Which is Accountancy, it is all based on experience, might I just add that I am really good at my job and am very proud of it. The daughter is a secretary and the son is office manager and deals with monies/payments. – user106448 Jul 3 '19 at 19:59
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    I think you should ask about a predicted salary range at the company you've been offered another job at over time (projected salary in year 20,21,22,... and ask for a projected salary range at your current job. The salary offer the other company gave you is what you'd get immediately, but isn't representative of the salary growth potential in a company hopefully free of nepotism and free of non-meritocracy. I think you should consider long-term salary growth possibilities rather than what you can make roday. It sounds like the current job salary is pegged at X. you could inquire about the othe – user106240 Jul 3 '19 at 20:03
  • Will your hourly rate be higher at the new job, if you consider all the extra hours you're putting in at this one? – thursdaysgeek Jul 3 '19 at 20:12
  • I did Inquire about the salary growth at the new company. It is a £4,200 pay cut which will not change for a minimum of 2 years and than it will increase which will make my loss still £2,200 for another 2 years until I am on the salary I am today. This is a 4 year minimum plan and could last 5 years to be on my current salary. The new job pays 1.5x daily salary for a saturday and no need for Sunday as not enough work, where as my current job pays 1x daily salary for Saturday and 1.5x for Sunday. – user106448 Jul 3 '19 at 20:13
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    "This other job will be stress free and no unprofessional employees" How do you know this? And even if it is true, there is no guarantee that it will always be that way. – sf02 Jul 3 '19 at 20:50
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It sounds like you are losing your mind trying to keep a sinking ship afloat. Your company is terribly understaffed and/or horribly mismanaged if you are working 24-hour shifts, skipping lunch, and having 7-day work weeks.

How the owner handles the separate issues with your friend's productivity and his kids' salary are not issues you can control or change, so don't try. Focus on what you need to do for you.

A stranger on the Internet can't tell you decisively whether it's the right move for you to leave your job, but, if I were you, I would certainly consider leaving.

Looking at the data you've presented, you seem to be confilcted on this point. You love what you do, and yet you are also feeling a ton of stress and are forced to do some very unhealthy things because you really, really don't want a company which is not supporting you to fail. Things your boss does (e.g., the kids' salary) bother you, but you still are overexerting yourself to save him from his own mistakes. Forgive me for being blunt, but this sounds like a form of Stockholm Syndrome.

If you are concerned about the pay cut with the new job, counter the job offer saying that you are interested and excited about the opportunity, but you're not sure you can afford to take a pay cut and see where things go from there. Or if you can afford the pay cut to get in a better life situation, I would consider just taking the job offer.

Just as a word of warning:

This other job will be stress free and no unprofessional employees.

Sorry, but that's almost certainly not the case. You should temper your expectations a bit. No job is perfect -- there will be things you don't like -- but it certainly sounds like it can't be any worse than your current job, and some things will likely be much better.

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    I am losing my mind. I started this company at the age of 17 with great hair and I am now bold and soon to be 26. I can forget about the kids. Eventually. The owner is a great guy, I love him. He gave me my first job and taught me a lot. He gave me this life and opportunity. Without him I would not be an accountant. My contract states I need to give one month notice however thinking of my boss and the company I would give three months and then will accept it with open arms. They might even not accept my resignation. – user106448 Jul 3 '19 at 20:31
  • I assume they would fight me on my resignation and offer me anything I want however once I give it in I wont accept as it goes against my natural – user106448 Jul 3 '19 at 20:36
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    They quite possibly will protest your resigantion, but given that your boss 1. knows the kind of overtime you're putting in and 2. hasn't done anything to properly address it -- I don't think your boss respects you to the same degree as you respect him. If he really wants to keep you, he needs to start respecting you. He's not doing that right now. Nobody can force you to stay by rejecting your resignation. – CullenJ Jul 3 '19 at 22:14
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    @user106448 my advice is that you should not cling to the past. It's like a relationship. Your partner is abusive but long ago, they gave you the world. Don't be biased by the past. You will meet new people in your new jobs. Would you like to lose that chance? – kkesley Jul 3 '19 at 23:21
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Several things I think of this:

  • Regarding the Boss's son and daughter I would suggest you let it be. If they are unprofessional and irresponsible it's their problem. You should focus on doing your job the best you can (which is what you are doing).

    Besides, trying to argue or point fingers to the boss's son/daughter is hardly recommended, as you have the odds against you.

  • Regarding you doing 25% more of the burden you should have. It is true that this person is your friend, but even so it does not justify you taking 25% (which is basically half the job they should do) and adding it to your burden, at the cost of few sleep, stress, possible sickness and burnout etc...

    Again, I know you are friends, but I suggest you stop doing your friend's job. If he/she gets a client fined it is their fault, not yours. I know you love your clients and the company, but you should also love and care for yourself.

    This will enable you to continue in this company you like, with better pay, and getting rid of that extra stress and burden you have acquired.

  • Finally, if you are reluctant to do as advised in the last point (which, again, I strongly suggest you stop doing your friend's job), and this situation is truly making you feel stress and burnout, you could consider switching to that other job you mentioned. Again, do this as a last resort, and after carefully considering what impact it will have in your life, and also review what Notice Period you agreed in contract and be ready to serve it.

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    Technically, taking on 25 percentage points more work is not a 25% increase in overall work, but a 50% increase. 50 * 1.5 = 75. He is working half-again as much as he expects. – Southpaw Hare Jul 3 '19 at 20:01
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    @SouthpawHare if you read carefully, I stated that he is actually taking half of his friend's burden. Anyways, the point is that OP is taking more job than what they can handle... arguing about the math of that approximated percentage is IMHO tangential... – DarkCygnus Jul 3 '19 at 20:02
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    @SouthpawHare indeed it is a bad situation. OP is almost doing the job of 2 people here, at the cost of their health and well-being. – DarkCygnus Jul 3 '19 at 20:07
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    @user106448 a mental exercise for you to consider: you say you are taking extra burden because it's your friend and you love the company and clients. If you continue with that unhealthy pattern you will most likely burnout and collapse at some point. Point in which you will either leave for other job, take a sickness leave or both. Regardless if you quit or not, the whole burden will fall into your friend eventually if you keep pushing yourself to the limits... – DarkCygnus Jul 3 '19 at 20:32
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    "I would have to give 3 months notice because the company would be in a terrible place without me." - That's honorable from your part. I hope that your current company is also that honorable towards you. – DarkCygnus Jul 3 '19 at 20:34
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  • What the boss's children do is none of your business.
    Stop complaining that life isn't fair. (DarkCygnus said it first. It needed to be said again)

The employee working with me is my best friend.
I do 75% of the work... We are meant to be doing 50/50 [plus my additional duties].
I have to take it all on myself
I [have chosen] to take it all on myself.
Due to him being my best friend, I do not say anything to my boss.

I was promoted to manager of a certain department over a year ago

  • Doesn't sound like you are acting like a manager.
    If you're doing three times the work of your employee(75 vs. 25), and that employee is properly trained, then the problem is your management style - or lack of one. Your "friend" should be putting in as many extra hours as you are to do his work.

Now, that may not be legal where you live... but if s/he really is your friend that person should take some of the burden off of you once you explain what is going on.
Of course, if you are "best friend" close, they should already be aware of what you're doing... and that you are doing it for them).

If the friend doesn't step up, you have about two good choices.

  1. Assign the friend tasks and let them fail.
    This will not go well for your friendship, it also will blow back on you at work because you are the manager, and the client has to pay a fine.

  2. Take the other job.
    It will not be as ideal as you describe, but it is better than you working yourself to death and hating it.

and then other choices, which aren't good ones...

  1. Continue doing what you are doing.

  2. Tell your boss the company must reduce the number of contracts that your department can support until after you get another employee.


This section is available for other people, not just you... I don't care, and it isn't my business... however please be aware that my answer changes if you are (or have ever been) intimate with your "friend".
In that case ignore my first, third, and fourth answers... only number two (leaving) is likely to put you in a better position.

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