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I recently had a death in my family, my grandfather whom I was close to passed away suddenly. As I currently live on the other side of the country and it is a long weekend, I was planning on not taking any bereavement leave (assuming I can take the weekend to deal with it, and I'll likely not be attending the memorial service).

Should I still inform my employer of the loss, as it has a possibility of affecting my work or attitude? Or should I not bother providing any information since it is not work related (e.g. its just a personal problem and is not a concern for my employer since I will not be taking leave)?

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    Do you have a particularly bad relationship with your manager? Or any reason you'd be particularly worried to tell them? For most reasonable people, telling them would just make them a little more sympathetic to you and many would offer accommodations (reduced workload etc.) while you're dealing with it.
    – user81330
    Aug 2, 2019 at 14:46
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    Its actually the opposite - I expect them to be quite sympathetic and accommodating, but that would likely end up upsetting me more. I have a good relation with my manager, but I don't like the attention.
    – Sh4d0wsPlyr
    Aug 2, 2019 at 15:06
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    Sorry for you loss as well. If you believe the loss of your grandfather is going to affect your work, and you have a good relationship with your manager, you can just be straight with them. "My grandfather passed away, but because of the distance I won't be taking bereavement leave. However, I may not a little more privacy during this time. I'm sure you'll understand."
    – Julie in Austin
    Aug 2, 2019 at 20:47
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    Having been in a similar situation, I informed my line manager because I have a good relationship with her and knew that I may need to ask for some time out in the future - so explaining now would make it easier then. However, there's no obligation. But if you have a good relationship with your manager it might help to let him/her know quietly - don't avoid people who want to help you get through this.
    – Steve Shipway
    Aug 3, 2019 at 8:19

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Inform them if you want to. Or don't inform them if you would rather keep it private. Do whichever feels more comfortable.

You have no obligation to notify your employer unless it impacts them directly.

Personally I would make the decision in the same way that I would decide whether or not to tell any other friend, acquaintance, or stranger. I typically make this decision based on trust and personal vulnerability to the subject in question.

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    +1 "You have no obligation" sounds like it answers exactly that OP wants.
    – user81330
    Aug 2, 2019 at 15:14
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First of all, my condolences for you loss.

As for informing your employer, that is up to you and how comfortable you are sharing personal information with them. I would not inform them to give them a "heads up" that your work an attitude may be affected. Instead, should your attitude and work start to deteriorate and they ask you what is wrong, I would mention it at that point.

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Should I still inform my employer of the loss, as it has a possibility of affecting my work or attitude? Or should I not bother providing any information since it is not work related (e.g. its just a personal problem and is not a concern for my employer since I will not be taking leave)?

If you think there's a possibility that it might affect your work or attitude then telling them is probably the right thing to do so that they understand why you're exhibiting this changed behavior. If you think that it won't affect your work or attitude then don't tell them. Personally, I think the wisest thing would be to tell them.

As for the attention, they're not going to fawn over you. They're going to express their condolences/sympathies, tell you to reach out to them if you need something, and leave you alone.

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    Sadly, "I need privacy in this time of mourning" is something that doesn't always work so well. People can mean well, but "death of a family member" brings out some of the most insensitive and intrusive behavior imaginable from well-intentioned people.
    – Julie in Austin
    Aug 2, 2019 at 20:50
  • hm... thinking back to years ago, this sort of makes sense
    – LeanMan
    Feb 3, 2022 at 13:05

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