During my hiring process, the HR Director said I was not worth the company's offer. That I would never get a better offer anywhere because I didn't have much experience (I had 15 years). They spoke in a demeaning, rude way to push me into not negotiating further. After I told them they were unprofessional and I ended the conversation and told them to keep the job offer, the company CEO called me up to apologize and explain that he and the team I would work with really valued me.

I ended up taking the job, but now within 6 months I have the better offer the HR Director said I would never get. I want to point out how wrong they were, because their words were soul-crushing at the time. I want the company to know that should never be a tactic taken with any new hire again.

Is there a way to do this? Or should I just leave without bringing it up. It was so painful at the time, it's hard to not want to point it out, because they were so wrong, but for a person with low self-esteem, a part of me believed it and nobody should have to feel that way.

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    Before you go to the effort, ask yourself these questions: What do you think it would accomplish? Do you think anything meaningful and long lasting would actually come out of it? What do you hope to gain by it?
    – joeqwerty
    Commented Aug 11, 2019 at 2:22
  • 2
    I think it might help people understand that bad, bullying behavior should not be tolerated.
    – user107558
    Commented Aug 11, 2019 at 2:27
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    Help who understand? Who do you think will benefit from this? How will people find out about your actions and the results of those actions? Do you think that the company will tell all future job prospects about this? Who exactly do you hope will benefit and how do you imagine that they'll acquire this benefit?
    – joeqwerty
    Commented Aug 11, 2019 at 2:38
  • 2
    I understand your desire to bring this to light, I'm just questioning the effectiveness of doing this and who will ultimately benefit from it, and how?
    – joeqwerty
    Commented Aug 11, 2019 at 2:43
  • 3
    One day notice? Well you are already burning the bridges then. Usually when you give a notice to your supervisor you are asked what is the reason. You can mention then. You can mention that on the exit interview if you really care and if there is going to be enough people saying that then company might take an action on HR person. But one day notice means you cannot stand them and most likely any your feedback is going to be ignored. You still can vent this out but you would achieve nothing positive.
    – AlexanderM
    Commented Aug 11, 2019 at 4:08

3 Answers 3

  1. The company surely wouldn't share your resignation letter with the remaining employees.

  2. Writing an open letter to the remaining employees is a sure fire way to burn bridges, create animosity, and potentially damage whatever relationships you have left at this company.

It seems to me that your real motivation is to exact some kind of "karmic" revenge on the HR Director because of their insulting behavior. Such motivations never end well for anyone. My advice to you is to leave it alone.

You might mention it in an exit interview if there is one, and you might write an email to the CEO explaining it to them, but that's as far as I would take it.

In work, as in life, we'll encounter bullying, harassment, unfair treatment, demeaning behavior, etc., etc. You're allowing the behavior of the HR Director to hold power over you. Your skills are worth more than they told you and you've proven that by getting this new job. Stop letting the words of the HR Director hold power over you. Move on. You've proven to yourself that they were wrong. Let that be enough for you. You don't need to "get back" at them. Be bigger than that, be bigger than them.

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    Thank you joeqwerty. Thank you.
    – user107558
    Commented Aug 11, 2019 at 3:44
  • Glad to help...
    – joeqwerty
    Commented Aug 11, 2019 at 3:47
  • Just to add to this excellent answer - people who behave in the way this HR director did are highly unlikely to "learn a lesson" from being punished for their actions. Instead, if you make a scene on the way out the door, they'll just work hard to make it seem like you were the one with the problem. Bullies are expert deceivers. The HR director will have no problem dreaming up ways to discredit anything you say on the way out the door, and you won't be there to "argue" or counteract anything they do or say. You won't teach anyone a lesson, you'll just get yourself a bad reputation.
    – dwizum
    Commented Aug 12, 2019 at 13:05

now within 6 months I have the better offer the HR Director said I would never get.

Does the new offer aligns with your future career goals and is a professional progression for you? If yes, sure go ahead and take it. You don't need to explicitly state it to the HR director.

Or should I just leave without bringing it up.

Exactly do this. Considering your entire narration, silently moving would be your best response (revenge) as it gets the message across in the boldest way.

However, if the new offer is merely a pay increment (without any other form of career progression) and all it serves is to prove that you are worth more than you were valued, you need to think if it would be in the best interest of you career to take the offer or bring it up to the HR.

Merely mentioning about it to them without any intention of actually taking up the job won't do any good (even show you in weak light), and will end up burning bridges with a co-worker.


I think the main issue for any individual in this situation is about one’s own self -esteem. If one has an adequate level of self-esteem these sort of situations will not be troubling and let alone an issue. Yes, bullying and degrading comments are wrong but it’s the reality out there. And one will face such again and again. Answer lies with our own self -esteem !

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