I joined the automation team at a big company in my country about a year ago, straight out of university. Since then I've gotten involved in half a dozen projects, but haven't actually completed any of them. My coworkers have all completed multiple projects in this same time. Some of them have only been here 6 months longer than I have, so they don't have significantly more experience than I do, but they seem to be performing much better. I don't notice my coworkers asking each other for help, but I often have to ask for assistance. Sometimes I get stuck with my code for hours, trying to google solutions but not coming up with anything helpful and eventually just having to wait for someone on the team to give me a hand.
I don't slack off while I'm waiting. I continue to try implementing solutions I find online, or move onto one of my other projects. However, due to this, my output is very slow.
We have daily scrum calls for each project and often times I have to say I'm still working on something which should have been already completed. It's embarrassing for me, and frustrating for my scrum master.
My manager has asked me a few times to focus more on a certain project or to work faster, so I know it's not just in my head.
I'm starting to doubt that this is all just the Impostor Syndrome and wonder whether I'm just not cut out for programming. I know the obvious solution would be to study more in my free time. However, between the 8 hour work day, the 3 hour (round trip) commute, working out, eating, and spending time with family, I really don't have any free time left over.
I do ask questions at work, and my coworkers are very helpful about answering them. But they do have their own meetings and deadlines and understandably, can't be relied on.
I did work with someone once in a pair programming setting and that went very well, but that coworker got pulled onto another heavy project so that's no longer an option.
How can I tell whether I'm just dealing with Impostor Syndrome or if I'm actually not a good programmer? I don't know whether to keep trying or accept a loss and try to regroup.