So for the entire month of August I have been indicating to my boss and my team that I would like to take vacation end of Nov/beg of Dec and was saving all my time for then. It was never a problem and my boss seemed fine with that. Well last week of August my parents and family of 10 found a great deal and wanted to book (dec 9 to 23). I told them I didnt get confirmation of the now solid dates from my boss but a tentative yes. She was on vacation for another week but they didnt want to wait so they asked me to contact her (I knew she didnt leave the city that day yet). Even though I felt weird to do that, I was also encouraged by a coworker to contact her as it seemed important to me to get confirmation. So I emailed her(no response) I called her a few times and no response.. although risky my parents booked the trip anyway cause they assumed since my boss gave a tentative yes that it was fine. Well at 10pm she texts me saying the timing I'm requesting is tricky and she needs to think about it until after my vacation. I asked my coworkers why it's a big deal.. its only slightly busy for us and they felt its absurd that she was saying that at all. I would be missing just 4 meetings (30 min each mainly) They all also said they would support me as they would be here during my time off. So she gets back and I explained 4 solutions that I thought of 1. Work beforehand and get as much work done as possible 2. Work during winter break 3. Have one of my coworkers go to the meetings and take notes for me and have me do the work after 4. Dial in from my vacation!
She said none of those are good solutions.. she also blantaly said she doesnt feel I will actually work during winter break.. I said why wouldnt i.. she said because I'll be busy.. I told her I'm committed to making sure everything is done.. she said believe me because I'll be busy with xmas.. then she kind of rudely said unless u dont even celebrate it! I said I actually dont so it wont matter to me. She questioned me saying really u dont give gifts to your kids (which the entire religion conversation made me incredibly uncomfotable) i told her sometimes but not really. She said she needs to still think about it! I told her i would really like an answer as my entire family is waiting anxiously and I havent been anywhere in almost 2 years (also I mentioned that due to my husbands schedule as he is out of town.. it's the only time that works).. she said well if i want an answer today it's a no!!!! But if i want her to think about it she will let me know in Several days. She also added that she didnt appreciate the fact that I contacted her during HER vacation with her family as it wasnt a work emergency and was not an important issue to have me disturb her.. What are your thoughts? Am I in the wrong? I conveyed my urgency to her and she dismissed it.. not only that but she told me dec 9 is considered mid dec not beginning
Some more information: I'm a chartered accountant and our "busy season" starts January for year-end. The pre-work in December is related to a recent acquisition where one coworker may be used to do some extra work and a few meetings I would miss/do early to prepare foe the quarter. Which again I can either do earlier or have someone deem my team take notes on my behalf and have me do the analysis upon my return... but my boss did not accept this idea.
Update: my boss has now told me that she will allow my vacation and told me the deadlines she accepts and what I need to do and I fully committed to it. She then stated that by doing this I agree to the fact that my performance will be reflected poorly at year end as a result of showing a lack of commitment to my team and my accountability by even wanting or thinking of going let alone going on vacation during this time. I told her I felt it was unfair to judge me for work that has not been done especially when I told her I will commit to do all the work necessary. But she said it doesnt matter.. it shows that you would rather go on vacation than do the work that you know is required. I rebutted telling her I had been clear that I will be doing the work but she refused to listen. So in the end she gave e more work to do than normal with tighter deadlines that I agreed to and then told me I will be getting a bad performance review regardless. I feel now this is a power struggle or a power trip as what she has stated is unreasonable Question: am I out of line? Is my boss out of line? How do I deal with my boss now on a day to day basis with what I feel is threat to my growth and performance which she clearly stated will not be good at year end. How do u continue to be motivated at all knowing it wont even matter?
EDIT: I just want to add for those who are having issues with me calling my boss while she was on vacation/away. I initially emailed her via company email as a simple request to get back to me. She then logged on onto the company messenger (skype) from her company laptop and was online for the majority of the day. Since I knew she was still in town (she told us when she was leaving) and since she was obviously still working, I didn't think it was a huge deal to give her a call and discuss. Since she didn't pick up the phone, i wrote her a text saying "these are my vacation dates, hope that's ok" and that was the end of it.