I've been working as a programmer during the last 5 years (my first five years of working experience). When I started working, I really enjoyed it. The problem is that some months ago I started developing a project for my company where my boss drove me crazy.

The fact that he was shouting at me in the office at least three times a day made me feel unconfident and insecure while working. I started to associate work with feelings of depression, and I started to think that working demands too much time instead of enjoying my finite life and this depressed me even more.

Finally, I got a new job a month ago because I couldn't stand the situation any more. Everything is okay here (no oneis despising me), but I'm starting to feel depressed again about working, and I'm starting to feel that I'm wasting my life, and this is making me feel bad. I don't want to think those things because I need to work to sustain my family, but I can't stop those feelings.

Could anyone give me a start/hint on how to change this situation? Has anyone experienced this?

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    I'm sorry for your situation, but I am afraid that this is not the kind of question we are able to handle in the Q&A format of this website. You might need someone to talk to in order to analyze what you really feel, what you actually want and need and how to approach this. That's a service we are unable to provide on this website. – Philipp Oct 14 '19 at 8:21
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    Have to agree with the above. You freely state your problem here isn't with your current workplace at all, but with feelings of depression (even if the root cause of that may have been your previous workplace.) The best answer anyone would be able to give here is "seek professional medical advice", which can go a long way in helping these types of situations (way more than we can here.) Best of luck with getting this sorted. – berry120 Oct 14 '19 at 8:31
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    (anyone is despising me) . do you mean no one? – Sourav Ghosh Oct 14 '19 at 8:37
  • It's possible you need time to recover from being abused by your previous manager. Medical help may be helpful. If by any chance you'd find relief in speaking (about your issue or not, it's how you like) you may find people listening in chat – Arthur Havlicek Oct 14 '19 at 8:57
  • Cheer up, focus on your family for a while. – Kilisi Oct 14 '19 at 11:00

This is a tough situation to be in. I experienced almost the exact same feelings you describe. Life is more than just working. And working in a high-pressure environment like you described does not help the slightest. When I explained my situation to my doctor, he told me it where early signs of a burnout or depression.

I think you should seek help if you cannot resolve this on your own. But, before doing this you should evaluate some stuff. What are your hobbies outside of programming? How is work/life balance? Are there external factors that induce stress? (financial, marriage,...) Do you eat/live healthy? Do you excersise enough?

Being a programmer often means working overtime, but don't do it every day. My biggest issue was that I had a lot of responsibilities in my job. I had a small team to lead and a behemoth of an application to maintain/build upon. Worked over 12 hours a day and kept working most weekends just to satisfy the deadlines.

What I did is set proper boundaries for work and take a step back, working fewer hours and having fewer responsibilities. It was a hard conversation with my boss, but he understood. This opened up time to focus on things that really matter in life. Family and my personal wellbeing. I started exercising +5 hours a week, I stopped responding to emails at night and weekends and started to eat a lot healthier.

After those changes, I started to feel better day by day. Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.

Don't be afraid to seek professional help if you can't do it on your own! It's good you recognize that there is an issue. It needs to be resolved before you end up severely depressed or burned out.

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    It's scary how much I see myself in what you wrote about your situation before the change. Good for you to get through it and finding a good solution, gives me hope for my own journey ahead. – Dirk Oct 14 '19 at 9:48
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    'Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.' well said! – Rami Shareef Oct 14 '19 at 14:09

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