I work for a company where internal transfers are normal. I've been on my team for 2 years and a few months ago I started to look for a new one only because I felt bored and wanted to see something new.

At that time I couldn't find anything but now a manager has reached out to me saying that he has a spot.

The problem now for me is two-fold:

  1. I'm less bored now at work
  2. I am going through some personal issues that cause me stress and I'm not sure I want to undergo the extra stress from changing teams right now. I've already made arrangements for therapy but this might take a while.

So the question is, what is the best course of action here? I am thinking of being honest with this new manager so as to keep the door open but I would like to hear more opinions.


You cannot keep everyone happy, do something that at least make you happy, you'll eventually end up having a better connection / relations with the people around you.

You need to think about the situation with an open mindset:

  • You are less bored, but still bored.
  • You want to avoid the extra overhead of chaging teams now because of your personal reasons - that's understandable, but is there any guarantee that a year down the line, when you'll have things sorted out and no personal stress, you change teams and for some reason, soon after, you're back into the same situation. How will you handle then?

I'll second your opinion: Speak to the new manager about the position, responsibilities and mention about the personal obligations (not any specific details) from your side.

  • If they can help you with your transition to the new team in this situation by allowing you a bit relaxed timeline for work / assignment, good for you.

  • If they are in need for the open position with some had-focused target and deadlines, they will probably communicate that, and you can mention you'll be interested in knowing about future opportunities down the line.

If they are willing to support you through your hard times, most likely that's the team you'd want to work with, so that you can ensure in future also, you'll have their support.


I feel you have to know yourself to answer this question. Some people need stability and constancy during stress, whilst others fight stress head on with change. As you are asking this question, I suspect you may thrive more on constancy, so it may be safer to stay put.

If this is not the case, then throwing yourself into a new team with a new learning curve, may be a helpful distraction from your current personal difficulty and may help you to ride through it.

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